i'm still sweating

got to gym 2 about 8 am, shampooed and soaked half hour hot, then cold, again hot.  felt so good stretching effortlessly.  i took my time dressing sweating profusely then reclined just enough room with feet against wall.  oh, so good.  sunny vale library back to normal layout still masked.  new computers but don't want to take a chance of timid google locking me out.  

i borrowed a cookbook on avocados that has a zucchini bake recipe.  i have a large zuke from st just pantry.  i drained corn added to can chili chopped zucchini simmered microwave.  so delicious and complete protein.  after 3 helpings i napped an hour.  probably the 2 half hours sweating wrung me out.  lots of toxins released.  my Louise Hay affirmations.   

i'm following spirit

i read Louise Hay to sleep doing the affirmations.  4:30 am i watched special features for Wonder Woman 1984.  i decided to watch the movie even tho' i don't like fighting.  i abhor arguing.  so much of comedy is yelling and berserk behavior.  i like clever creative.  jokes are going along a trail and taking a 90 o turn.  

i went to seniors early.  showered dressed computed exercised.  went upstairs to game and following spirit i picked up lunch 11:15 and Gloria in passing said st Clare giving take out thanksgiving noon-2.  i said hello to table my new social skill.  

i decided to go to st just since tomorrow holiday.  sign ups for thanksgiving and Christmas.  pickup drive thru' weekend before 9-noon.  2 bags groceries 1 veg fruit.  took an hour bring inside and put away.  no fresh meat canned tuna and chicken.  whew!!  i still have 8 frozen drumsticks.  i don't like cooking i like eating.  

dst smoothly

i love the extra hour.  i'm better at living relaxed.  i went and filled gas.  i remembered.  $4.159.  up 16 cents from last month. 

b'fast i ate roll and chicken Asian dressing.  tasted weird.  i prefer BBQ.  @ seniors i called OTC to order from Sonja.  no longer taking discover for overage so i ordered 3 back braces.  58 cents left.  i showered dressed to exercise and no shoes.  i must have left them fry day, not in car or bag.  i checked lost and found nothing.  i picked up lunch.  sat in car to check discover for gift subscription and no record so i called customer service Becky.  i had to re submit.  i'm being gentle with myself.  

i have to remind myself to drink lots of water.  i think it the only thing keeping me healthy.

8:25 am

i'm still learning to take my time.  after a lifetime of being driven old habits take time to reprogram.  i ate sliced banana in milk for b'fast not setting well.  

so many become addicts to drugs, behaviors, stupidity in an effort to ignore and deny the dysfunction of old programming that no longer works in a constantly changing world.

fascists hold on out of fear of survival.  they generate anger to deny fear.

i sent auntie thank card.  i can wait on Cathy.  maybe i have b'day card big enough for auntie's book mark magnifier.  

seniors i'm sitting listening in car you tube healing and eating weird mexican meatball lunch.  chopped spinach with weird steamed cabbage carrot red bell pepper melange.  i like sitting here watching the people.  if only my hips didn't hurt.

drove to college safe way redeemed $5 for 8 clearance croissant.  on to pay citibank and redeem lucky's free yogurt and bottle water.  used rain check for ginger ale.  tired and happy i went to chase but main atm down so i withdrew half.  and home toke left 12 cost co butter croissant.  i'm rich!  i ate 4 for dinner and dessert.  napped 2 half hours.  ate free low sugar yogurt and free water.  eh.  i used to save for later.

11-6 sat-the new me @ noon.  i've been up since 5:30 ate roll with soup, organized supplements for next week.  i considered gym, what i want today.  i'm gentle with myself.  i don't want to drive.  i wanted to order otc charged my phone.  Cathy called yesterday 3:33 i returned call.  she went to emergency 3 times just anemic.  more doctors and tests.  

11-7 sun-still don't want to drive.  i want to clear and fix gutter.  not now.  i'm gentle with myself.  the years i forced myself out of bed to haul ladders and take care of house kept me sick and pain filled.  i took out garbage and recycle.  next door left is taking all the parking.  if i leave i may not have a spot to come back to.  i'll fill gas tomorrow.  my right temple is hurting but my neck shoulder is more relaxed.  wheel makes me feel better.  and willow.

i'm having more fun

i have a good routine going.  i got to seniors 9:50 and visited bookmobile first.  talking to Cody about magnets i realize gravity is magnetism on a denser scale.  fascinating.

then shower listening to healing.  i can open chrome and leave on ledge.  charged and wheeled.  site wouldn't work yesterday.   mail preview auntie wrote.  i'm so excited.  means she's ok.  so i came home directly.  

she wrote she got ged.  she couldn't attend high school working for family.  i admire and respect how much harder it must have been.  she said reading reader's digest taught her.  even more impressive.  self taught like lincoln.

my back and hips still hurt from all that driving.  feeling nausea i'm eating fruit drops.  under the nausea i feel pinched hip nerves through abdomen.  

hard to listen in pain

yesterday i focused on my meeting.  came home after college safe way free pizza pick up.  cooked on foil.  ate tiny chicken mole lunch and pizza.  brushed my teeth, lay down 'til 3, dressed, drove San Tomas to Hamilton half hour despite weather.  early i sorted papers.  checked in.  

hour and half sitting in hard chairs excruciating.  on survey i suggested break halfway through.  dr coyle started with pain level survey so he knew most of us were in pain.  i don't understand.  is he a sadist?  doesn't encourage me.

i couldn't keep sitting drove to corner good will walked the store felt better.  checking in with my back and energy i picked up nicotine gum.  whew!

so tired.  left side of my face and ear so ticklish it's annoying.  right side is feverish and sore.  taking willow helps.  left index finger hurts sharp pain.  pinched nerves.

beginning of month blues

i'm feeling sad.  mom made me feel being born was a mistake.  

i took a look at gutter again and it isn't fastened to all eaves.  so much for gutter guys co.  i've been thinking about gutter guards.  leaf filters isn't the only way to go.  a mesh tube would work too.  and be easily removable.  

i couldn't play wheel the site didn't work.  i think i ordered daily words for auntie and Cathy, i hope.