true detective-dst

oh, yeah i forgot the constant updates attempts if not published.  so it keeps popping up.  i completely ignored daylight saving time.  got up 7 clock time really 8 am.  and heated quinoa and chicken i cooked yesterday.  watched some tv, brushed my teeth.  back to bed at 10.

i forgot matt mc was 'true detective' the reason i borrowed it from library.  i'll check it out.  hey, that's twice.

i watched 'okko's inn' last night twice and loved it like 'igor'.  redemption and forgiveness and thriving.  serious stuff.  

toke left me monopoly Not game pieces

last night i cooked quinoa more protein than eggs.  i made asparagus omelet too.  2 dozen st just eggs lends itself to creativity.  st just olive bread pudding?

on the front porch as i was leaving in a bag.  i'm taking her popcorn.  i guess the reason a small bag and a big one.  i'm to eat the small one. 

i watched meghan, harry, oprah interview repeat last night.  i'm feeling much better.  i didn't cry this time.  to see the same family betrayal from the people who are supposed to love and support you played out on the world stage.  very healing to see the forgiveness, recovery and thriving.  gives me hope i can too.  tygj.  

when games fail loading i just have to go and do something else for awhile.  

i just realized this is the first time in my life i'm not forced to give away my things.  mom always gave my things to nit and alien while dad just stole what he wanted.  like my happy childhood.  on purpose.  

and i know how he ended. 

the games not loading force me to feel unpleasant memories.  'sound healing' at work.  tygj.

i can keep my good.  i dreamed of big, medium and small boxes.  

i accidentally closed tab and successfully reopened it.

feeling my feelings

feelings can be consciously generated with practice.  acting.  i trained myself to suppress my feelings by overlaying fear of punishment whenever i feel anything fear slides in to muddy the emotion.  even love.  i have to change this first by recognizing what i'm doing.

1-recognize

2-acknowledge, respect

3-devise new pattern

4-use

5-practice

i'm learning new things with the computer formatting.  not that i want to but must.  i much more comfortable doing the same old things and using my energy for fun.  that's why people resist change.  same as my phone.  lol.  technology is conspiring to improve me.  forcing me to evolve.

and lack of home internet is forcing me outdoors in front of the library where i have a signal.  would i voluntarily go outside otherwise, no.  

and i decided against dark chocolate raspberry candies too sticky for blood and teeth.  delicious and unhealthy.

i saw grace and maria at dollar together

what a miracle.  i heard grace from across store at check out.  i needed brake fluid got in line.  then i heard maria calling to grace.  they invited me to go with them in maria's rented car on vacation to san fran.  i have other things on my mind to feel comfortable doing that.  sim card came.  exercise, pick up lunch.   rib lets reconstituted pressed hamburger.  good sauce sweet spicy.

what a red letter day.  cathy left v mail 4:47 yesterday i returned after trying to determine which one online zero.  i called 3 missed calls.  hers had her message.  other 2 #s i don't know.  she called while i was driving to main.  we talked 20 minutes.  i parked main and remembered st just.  asian nancy was so kind trading out fruit for veg and chris white woman at st just checked me in.  tygj.

1:30 already.

i almost forgot.  i went to mitsuwa after main and bought 4 manju, tiny kimpira, gobo fish cakes.  (i made noodles sliced asparagus with sesame seeds oil.  so good.)  went to walmart to look for online sale morey fish not stocked, paid pge, bought pineapple sage plant 3.47.  stopped at kiely park to stretch and tried internet reception.  screen went black frozen.  went home, charged, tried shut down again worked.  no pages no connection but i didn't break it hurrah!!

dark chocolate jelly candy

full of artificial junk.  oh, well.  i'll have to find the same thing natural.  i have gelatin.  i lack raspberry jelly.  easy solution.

i woke 5:30 dozed dreaming 'til 8.  heated chili corn bread b'fast.  yum.  lay in bed with dvd cabot cove.  some bits won't play.  9:30 showered, washed hair.  slow and measured.  lay in bed a few minutes drying off.  my hair was going lovely grey and due to nutrients is darkening.  drat.  

10:30 off to senior park beautiful sunny after last night t storms.  walked, stretched, careful to walk off wet sand and saw kelly wright.  talked for a bit.  she mostly interested in old gang.  and wondering if we'll ever get back.  i told her my routine.  people always know where i am if they want to see me.  responsible old faithful.  i like me.

sat in lot computing and dark clouding over so i drove main big steady rain, parked my favorite spot amid infection testing crowd and little hail drops.  lovely cold.  stopped.   

got my first robot call on new envoy.

don't know what i'm doing

i think i texted b b t but i don't know.  how will they know who i am?  i entered sweepstakes.  i think.  people do things, get in a rut and assume they know what they're doing but i don't think so.  i think they're just habituated.  feels comfortable and known.  

screens are huge.  i don't know how it reset itself.  it just does from day to day.  always a surprise.  i give it 10 sec to load and move to another page.  then e mail page is tiny.

picked up lunch no internet so i came to main.  i just noticed car radio has text type buttons.  on the radio!!  3 years i've had this car.  i don't know.  

i considered going to cup lib i still may.  after i compute, do my games, enter my sweeps.  i also remembered st just.  sometime this week.  maybe tomorrow.  i don't know.

i went to library after calling to renew secret.  lobby reopened.  they require hand sanitizer before retrieving holds.  as i stood there waving my hands to dry the liquid i realized i was like an autistic child flapping my hands.  so as i was leaving i mentioned to a librarian it's making us all autistic.

then on to safe way walked store resisted sweets.  bought my 4 pasta 4 tickets 1 free water.  home i cooked pasta added to asparagus cheese.  watched love boat.  added sliced olives.  so good.  

i fell asleep for an hour missed classic concentration.  i can catch the rerun at 8.  

did my 15

stretched, walked vigorously.  less popping cracking i'm taking as a good sign my back is improving.  

100% screen size is huge.  the computer is resetting itself.  must be weather.  tv reception is weird too.  lost some gained some channels.  

monopoly ticket is not all items.  only designated.  oh, well.  i may not play.  besides only online data.  way more work for nothing.  

i wanted to try truffles dressing.  could be another hoax like caviar.  i don't know where pasta coupon went so i got another on the way out.  at least i remembered.  dressing might be good on pasta.  ingredients are ok.  too vinegary.  maybe monk fruit sweetener will improve the taste.  

i'm not feeling much better.  but considering i wasn't allowed to feel anything at all i'm a step ahead.  

i had raw asparagus b'fast all i wanted.  lunch teriyaki baby chicken thigh ok.  i'm drinking all the free the waters.

i want a chauffeur.  wow i spelled it correctly.  spell check was better when corrections were shown.  now, it tells you wrong and no suggestions.  wonder why they changed it?

'i need not worry what to say or do..he who sent me directs me.'  course in miracles pg 24 text.