feeling my feelings

feelings can be consciously generated with practice.  acting.  i trained myself to suppress my feelings by overlaying fear of punishment whenever i feel anything fear slides in to muddy the emotion.  even love.  i have to change this first by recognizing what i'm doing.

1-recognize

2-acknowledge, respect

3-devise new pattern

4-use

5-practice

i'm learning new things with the computer formatting.  not that i want to but must.  i much more comfortable doing the same old things and using my energy for fun.  that's why people resist change.  same as my phone.  lol.  technology is conspiring to improve me.  forcing me to evolve.

and lack of home internet is forcing me outdoors in front of the library where i have a signal.  would i voluntarily go outside otherwise, no.  

and i decided against dark chocolate raspberry candies too sticky for blood and teeth.  delicious and unhealthy.