I'M FEELING BETTER

IT'S 10 o's COOLER AND I'M TAKING MY TIME.  I WALKED OVER TO MISSION @ 9.  I REMEMBERED I DIDN'T DEPOSIT FOR LIFE INSURANCE.   I REMEMBERED THEY OPEN AT 9 EXCEPT THURSDAYS.

I FORGOT THE CHARGER FOR THE CHROME.  I CHARGED MY PHONE. 

I'M WALKING MORE AND WILL BE MORE ACTIVE.

SYD

CALLED FOR ST J.  I'M TOO TIRED.  MY BACK IS CHANGING.

NEARSIGHTED-saturday,didn't publish

ALL THE READING BOOKS AND THE GLARE FROM THE LAPTOP SCREEN IS MAKING ME NEARSIGHTED.

WHAT WAS I DOING DURING MY DIVORCE OR WAS THAT STRESS?  BATES STATED STRESS AND STRAINING TO SEE MADE VISION WORSE.

SO TODAY I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO GO TO STAR ONE TODAY OR MISSION MONDAY.  IT TOOK ME UNTIL 8;30 TO DECIDE ON SRS.  I PONDERED SUNNYVALE BUT DECIDED TO USE COMPUTER TO LOOK UP CARDENAS MARKET.  IT CAN'T CONNECT ON THIS.  MAYBE NOT ENOUGH SIGNAL.  I checked on srs'.  Closest in oakland.

MY NEW BEHAVIOR IS TO DO EVERYTHING IN A RELAXED, TIMELY FASHION.  I GIVE MYSELF PLENTY OF TIME AND LOVE.

KNOWING WHAT I WANT

AFTER A LIFETIME OF BEING DENIED WHAT I WANT I GAVE UP WANTING.  AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.  AND I'M AFRAID TO WANT.  WHISPERS OF HUMILIATION.

BIPOLAR?

TODAY I'M A WHOLE NEW PERSON.  LUNCH WAS GOOD.  LADIES GAVE ME THEIR LEFTOVERS.  I CALLED SV NISSAN RE TEST DRIVE, NO REPLY.  PEDRO OFF. 

AND I FEEL OK. 

DW-GRADUATION

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST  OF MY LIFE.

AFTER SR LUNCH I CONFRONTED CITY WITH ELECTRIC BILL, REREAD 1,45.  MY BILL TO BE ADJUSTED.  I CALLED AND VISITED CARLOS WITH CAR INFO.  TYGJ.

I FEEL BETTER,  I HATE CONFRONTATIONS.  FAMILY WAS HUMILIATION AND CONTEMPT.  A NEW DAY.

I'VE DECIDED TO CELEBRATE MY GRAD WITH THEM.  MY FAMILY NEVER EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED ME.  TOOK ME 6 1/2 YEARS ON MY OWN OF PUTTING UP WITH THE GARY SERGIANI JOKES.  I WAS JUST A JEALOUS JOKE TO THEM.

D*I*V*O*R*C*E-MEMORIAL DAY MONDAY

MY VISION IS BLURRY LIKE WHEN I GOT DIVORCED.  WHICH REMINDED ME OF MY SITUATION IN 1985.  SO MANY SIMILARITIES.  I LEFT MY LIFE BEHIND.  A KIND OF DEATH.  I'VE FELT LIKE I'M DYING.  I'M ENTERING A NEW LEVEL OF FREEDOM. 

WHEN I WENT TO LIVE ON MY OWN; NEW LIFE, JOB, APARTMENT, I WAS FINE.  I WILL BE AGAIN.  THE NEW, IMPROVED, UPGRADED VERSION OF ME.  I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE ME.