my lower back is screaming. i'm still detoxing, coughing. the more i sleep the better i feel.
looking up phil and brynn hartman both connected to 3rd rock 1996-2001. so sad. i remember how much i was saddened and affected by their murder suicide 5/28/98. suicide and alcoholism being my family tradition. my mother threatening murder suicide, my hellish childhood. my older sister insisting she deserved the abuse and my younger sister denying our childhood. dis-ease is denial of reality. i moved back in 1989 due to my dad's cancer diagnosis. all 4 grandparents died of cancer in Hawaii.
i keep forgetting the validity of my sorrow.
i can't heal it 'til i feel it. the basic premise of Louise Hay. and Delorise Lucas sweeping away the dis-eased energy, remembering and using her techniques.
i'm sleeping and feeling tired and weak releasing the chemical memories. i'm burning energy peeling off another layer of suppressed experience. processing changing stored potential energy. i'm feeling guilt another family induced layer.
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