my family tortured and abused me. i guess they hated life. they took it out on me. no wonder i feel depressed. my motivation has been avoiding pain. doing the proper thing to avoid pain and punishment. punishment was the only result i knew. of course i feel depressed. of course i feel sick.
i have to return sunny book. due tomorrow. maybe, maybe not.
facing the truth i feel better. i got up to watch a 'love boat' i hadn't seen.
toki called 6 pm to check if i needed anything. she was just getting home.
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