lovely

10:30 swam hour i'm feeling tired and relaxed.

Yesterday i was terribly blue.  i'm mourning my lost childhood and all the other children.  i have to forgive sisters and parents.  we were all cheated.  i considered cancelling lunch but i had to drop off bart$.  tax clipped to mail box i felt i was doing something good i did my taxes last month.  freshly inspired i detoured to chase bank and the deposit mission cu.  banking done.  

i'm digesting 'lovelace'.  like 'all passion spent'  scratched and skipping.  food for thought.  ex marriage sick.  he insisted we see it in the pink poodle san jose dump.  i seemed to be the only woman in the sleazy sticky dump.  the men wore rain coats.  shudder.  i didn't find it at all humorous.  more humor less.  dumb and demeaning all around.  1972 the year we married.  then 1979 we drove way north for 'caligula' another depraved demeaning dehumanizing film.  we met his coworkers.  sick.  no wonder the world is sick and polluted.