the earlier in bed, the longer i can sleep. i'm more relaxed and rested. entropy in action, an object at rest. used to be the opposite i'd be rested and raring to go go go.
i'm having flashbacks of 8 years bedridden. lying in all the family induced fear. a lifetime of pain and torture. and all my relationships were recreations of my horrible family. i'm not feeling happy, my stomach upset.
remembered to write out life insurance by 10 am in time. cleaning here and there. i'm enjoying the house. cooked frozen veg defrosted cooked chicken. i've decided to eat what i want without reservation. everything in my life has been calculated against a measure of doing what's right or convenient not what I want. no wonder so few of us are healthy. we don't have experience with what's good for us.
i read the internet arguments about kid's b'day parties i can't relate when i never had one. my sisters did. growing up this way it was just normal. it hurts me now i realize how i was disrespected, unloved.
6 pm watching '8 billion angels' yeah ,yeah, yeah parasite man is killing the planet.
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