amazing

i watch game shows studying behavior.   actors earn their living by giving people the behavior the audience wants.  no wonder they become alcoholic addicts.  they manipulate others by denying themselves authenticity.  they kill themselves trying to please others and failing.  if Depp wins he loses.  he feels smugly superior convincing the audience merely another performance.  the smirks on his face tells the story he lies and revels in his own performance.   now i understand Robin Williams' suicide.  he believed his own hype.  

sitting listening healing senior parking lot 11 am waiting for lunch to open.  Gerde kept repeating inge is so patient answering over and over.  back started hurting i left early.  home 1 rested gamed napped an hour.  shampooed showered.  refreshed.