i seek to save myself again through saving Walter. his dad like mine made complaining an Olympic event. Walter is following in his dad's shoes without a net to save him. i mentioned we know how the dads ended up. does he want the same result? i know i don't. i want my happiness. i can only figure they were happy and wouldn't change their trajectory.
check engine light just as i drove up to seniors. air filter needs replacing Carlos said give him call mid week. the tree trimming yesterday polluted the air with particulates. that's when i drove into it and the check engine light came on.
i looked for and found the 3 misplaced movies half hour reorganizing car. exercised picked up lunch helped Gerda sit at table. Art took Pete's lunch i gave Pete the Bragg's amino minerals i had him taste first. i went to college safe way no sliced almonds clearance sugar free bubble gum. i'm weaning myself off nicotine gum. lucky laundry i ate lunch while washing. driving home safe way slivered almonds no sliced.
took home lunch salad rested considering what i wanted to do. nothing i wanted on tv. went to sunny library to charge and compute. filled water. looked up panda express family meal. used coupon 2 sides; chow mien and veg, 3 entree; double orange chicken and honey sesame chicken. she offered 4 cookies i asked for 5 being assertive new me. home i hung clothes and then ate to my heart and stomach's content and all 5 cookies. i'm set for the weekend.
i'd still give it all up for peace on the planet. unless we're all safe no one is safe. to believe less is delusional.
sun day
i'm melting. i want to throw a tantrum and i don't know how. beaten out of me. without the physical pain i can see what chaos i've lived in since moving back with the parents. i had to live in lies and denial never a good address for me. so now i don't want to do anything but scream shout kick stomp my feet and don't know how. no, no, no. 2 yr olds learn to differentiate i was never allowed. beaten into me.
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