reprogramming is physical pain

everything we learn is remembered by chemical imprint.  all our conscious and unconscious memories are chemically recorded.  strokes scramble the chemical imprint.  changing behavior requires imprinting over existing programming.  it's uncomfortable feels like having bugs running around in the body.  

i want some one to take care of me.  to put me first.  that's igor.  he creates the ultimate weapon and falls in love with his creation.  my fair lady.  becomes devoted to her.  willing to put her above his ego.  my sleep is dictated by what i need to reprogram.  i'm too stubborn to accept reprogramming awake.  so i sleep to what i need to learn.  eva as annie has green dots in her eyes contrasting her red hair and dress instead of annie's white dots. 

i've been feeling drawn to 99 cent only store.  2001 amy/kyochan sent me a 99 cent only phone card from l.a. so i could call her when i was bedridden.  she offered to take care of me but i was mostly sleeping and i would have felt too guilty disrupting her life with charles, john, catherine and the grandkids.  alien threatened to sue her for the $10 k down payment mom gave her like she did for her daughters.  mom gave lots of money to her sisters too.  she couldn't give love so she gave money.  i was the only one to pay her back no wonder mom hated me.  i didn't understand then i was insulting her.  alien was trying to have me physically and illegally evicted so we were in the same boat.  predators.  

i finally tackled the st just chicken from the 10th expecting little drumsticks when it's 4 giant quarters turkey sized.  i can only fit 2 cut up at a time.  must be from monster chickens.  i'll cook them all.  the puck oven i can set and forget.  i decided to use the $1 rechargeable flashlight in the garage.  one of the best buys i ever made.  

my hips are screaming especially the right.

the chicken is delicious.  not much meat, mostly back bones and fat.  so i cooked the other 2 stripping the meat for later.  for dessert so so lemon danish with hazelnut chocolate made delicious.  

i'm cooking the other 2.  i didn't check the temp so it's taking longer.  oh, well when i'm tired.  i finally finished the last lemon square.   i remembered jamie on at 6.  i'm happy.