RELIVING DAY EXPERIENCES. I DREAMED OF BLOND MAN THREATENING TO KILL ME WITH KNIFE FOR MY CAR WHEN IN FACT I HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM WILL 1982. HE SAID TO STAB HIM. HE WAS SO SUICIDAL. WE WERE TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT GOING TO COUNSELING AND HE WAS STILL LYING AND CHEATING. INSISTING HE WAS INNOCENT. HE ONLY AGREED TO COUNSELING TO AVOID DIVORCE SAYING I WAS CRAZY JUST LIKE MOM TELLING ME OUR FAMILY WAS OK EXCEPT FOR ME. I TOLD HER AT 16 WE NEEDED TO GO TO COUNSELING.
I KNEW SOMETHING WAS SERIOUSLY WRONG BUT DIDN'T KNOW WHAT.
ALL THE MEN IN MY LIFE. MOM WAS SO CODEPENDENT. I'M SO WORKING TO CHANGE.
I'M READY FOR LIFE. SOMETHING BEST AND DIFFERENT.
TRYING TO GET APPOINTMENTS IS SO MUCH WORK. I HAVE 250 MINUTES I USUALLY DON'T USE. THAT'S NEW I USUALLY USE THE CENTER LANDLINE. TOOK ME 28 PHONE MINUTES NOT COUNTING WAITING FOR CALL BACK.
I GOT HOME 2:30. PUTTERED AND NAPPED 3 HOURS. I'M FEELING BETTER THAN THIS MORNING.
THE OLD ME WOULD HAVE FORCED MYSELF TO KEEP GOING. I'M FEELING THE PAIN AND ANGUISH OF THE LAST 20 YEARS.
I CLEANED COOKED ONION. ADDED 3 POTATOES CURRY OREGANO. DELICIOUS. I STILL HAVE TWO SQUASH 3 ONIONS.
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