watching 'concentration'

eating steamed veg hot dog.  i was so hungry it tasted so delicious.  

chrome quit last night wouldn't turn on.  so i decided to go to main to return debated keeping hot spot kept it.  went early walked checked st j.  second chrome didn't work either.  must be dead batteries.  third one fine checked hot spot setting.  it's much smaller.  cute.

went to grocery outlet walked store 4 lbs quinoa.  on to Lucky's 2 x points finally remembered to add game reward bonus points.  

even better.  i kind of knew last night the replacement chrome book would be better.

my hip and rib

mini corrections have unlocked 35 year injury.  muscles are in chains and unlock in sequence only.  finally relief of a sort.  i woke 5:30 from the pain release felt like heart attack.  i want to stay asleep when i cross.  watched 'concentration' and 'now' while making quinoa a la king b'fast.  i'm running hot and cold.  

seniors calm quiet in car.  listened to 'love' all morning and driving and now 9 am.  thought about estate sale.  i loved the remodeled bathroom, backyard hot tub, office.  i thought Inge's house was nice this was better.  did my computer, stretching, picked up lunch.  in car decided to go Benton to Lawrence Lucky's talked to 24 hour table Geraldine opens May 21, 9 am.  leaving i remembered i wanted b king chicken fingers fries.  i remembered everything.  felt like a miracle.  home 1 pm i ate fingers and fries.  yum!  

i'm done

i just wanted to be normal and live an average life.  maybe loneliness is normal.   i'm still waiting on love.  my grandma and cousins loved me just none of my family.  we moved to the mainland when i was 4 not understanding what happened to all who loved me.  made my autism so much worse.  occurs to me disruption triggers autism symptoms.  possibly many outgrow symptoms through brain connection developments.   

i've never lived.  i'm praying for a better world for all.  praying for others works.  

watching old cartoons i realize so much of my childhood as a latchkey kid was formed by unsupervised tv.  

seniors 9:11 signal from hot spot strong but only 2 bars on hot spot.  i've visited dollar store to restock ramen and Target bought sun seeds.  one step after another.  

trying new behaviors takes so much additional energy.  stopped at estate sale beautiful house custom bath, outdoor hot tub, added office backed by bowers school.  amazing.  i bought fryer tray $2 and 2 hooks $2 + .36 tax.  i've never been charged tax at an estate sale.  huh.  came home added sun seeds to slaw, and lemon juice, sun seeds, almonds to rice.  

my skull so sore.  i shampooed with moisturizing slippery slick.  i've been feeling greasy.

listening to love

i'm feeling anxious with changes.  'concentration' replaced with health ads and second half of 'now you see it' is back.  nicotine and sugar free gum not good.

it's offline again.  and it resets page.  i'm wondering if it's worth the effort.  hauling it back and forth.  

reading 'boy who felt too much' same conclusion as mine.  it isn't normal people who advance civilization it's special ones.  we empathize truly.  without empathy civilization will consume itself.  we're drowning in unchecked abundance.  global warming is global.  there's nowhere to run nowhere on the planet to hide.  Putin is creating more contamination pollution besides the loss of lives wasted.

i don't feel adult

i feel adrift.  i lost all settings when the hot spot connected.  a chance to decide what's important enough to recapture.  i have to turn on spot every time i close disconnects.  

sitting senior parking collecting my soul listening to love.  ideal would be hot tub.  oh, well.  i'm planning heaven.  walking distance or better.  maybe i'm too limiting.  sometimes seeing too small inhibits manifestation.  

9 am time to go in.  i could never be true to myself or have loyalty when i had to hide who i was to survive.  and now i've changed.  i can see the users and step away without feeling sad.  

i keep losing the connection.  it's so weird.  the hot spot does weird things.  i am getting good at reconnecting recovering my settings.  my reactions are better.  i don't feel as frustrated.  or maybe it's the 3 hour nap.

i have to remember to turn on hot spot b4 chrome.

adult lock out

i finally went main to pick up hot spot and instructions.  sat in parking ate lunch to build courage.  only 10 minutes for Paul to step me through connecting.  and i'm home listening to healing and figuring out blog.  locked out of adult child no problem.  i had to log back in remembering how.  whew!  i did it.  

feeling free of pain and sleepy.  napped half hour.  feeling floaty from fun.  

sitting outside sunny lib

it's odd that it plays healing if i work on another page whether internet connected or not.  i picked up free nitro Pepsi from L ex lucky's and free water with $5 Friday sushi at Maria safe way and came here.  i ate lunch at home messy fish sand i added coleslaw and opened can more sweet pot with cinnamon i have a desire for.  and some celery last night.  my body is telling me what i need.  my allergies responding to snickers i ate last night.  dinner is covered.

i prefer 3 days off from seniors.  so much more relaxing.  don't know why except change from routine.  found new 8 oz water in parking lot to replace i gave to Walter.  and new mask.  breaking even is behind.  i want to be ahead.

an hour listening to healing.  i added new game code to lucky's and $3 rewards for onion tater tots or frozen fish or broccoli i want to buy next time.  i'll have with eggs.