IF ONLY

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ALL HAD SOMEONE TO LOVE THEM.

HOW DO WE LEARN TO LOVE OURSELVES IF WE HAVE NO EXPERIENCE OF BEING LOVED?

I'VE BEEN WATCHING DVDS HOPING TO FIND AN ANSWER.  THE ONLY IDEA SO FAR.  THE BRAIN DOESN'T DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN WHAT IT SEES AS FACT OR FICTION.  MAYBE WHY WE HAVE TRUMP AS PREZ.

i decided

LOVELY COOL OVERCAST DAY.  YESTERDAY AND TODAY A FEW SPRINKLES.

EVERY TIME I THINK OF DECISIONS I LAUGH REMEMBERING GW BUSH SAYING HE'S THE DECIDER.

11-I WENT TO LUCKY'S FOR SALAD AND PORK LOIN.

I GOT TO CUP-LIB AT 11;50 TO RETURN AND PICK UP.   CAMPBELL DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING READY YESTERDAY.  NEW BEHAVIOR.  FOR SOME REASON I TOOK MY WALLET.  DOC MARTIN AND SIMPSONS.

WHEN I WENT TO G2-SFWY I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE MY DISC WAS.  JUST THE THOUGHT OF CALLING AND CANCELLING WITH TARG SET MY MIDDLE BACK THROBBING.  DISC WAS IN WITH THE DVDS.  WHEW!  I DODGED A BAD ONE.  FREE CRACKERS AND HAMBURGER BUNS.  16 TICKETS.  I CAME HOME TIRED FROM ADRENALINE RUSH.  I MONO-ED, ENTERING SWEEPSTAKES, 232 EMAILS TO CONFIRM.

I ATE CHILI AND BUNS.  COOKED PORK.  I'M SET FOR THE WEEK.  SUCH A WEIRD DAY.  WATCHING BOY AND THE WORLD IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE.  NO DIALOG, STICK FIGURE CARTOON REMINDS ME OF EARLY ANIME.

DYSTOPIA IN SOUTH AMERICA.  NOT A WORLD I WANT.





  

AND BETTER

I'VE BEEN STRETCHING MY BRAINS OUT AND MY BACK IS BETTER.  I STILL HAVE TO MOVE SLOWLY CAREFULLY.  EH, I'M WORTH IT.  AND I HAVE TO TAKE IT SLOWLY SO I NOTICE MORE OF WHAT'S GOING ON.

AT SRS I RUSHED AWAY FROM THE PUZZLE TABLE AND FORGOT MY HOODED VEST.  OH, WELL.  I WAS ANNOYED BY ANOTHER INTRUSIVE OLD WHITE POOP LOOKING FOR ATTENTION.  HE NEVER EVEN MENTIONED MY VEST.  DON GAVE ME THE SPORTS.

I DECIDED TO GO TO SCU SFWY FOR FREEBIES AND 14<46 TICKETS.  CAME HOME AND HAD CHILI CHEESE. 

LOVELY COOL DAY OVERCAST CLOUDY.  I'VE STARTED CLEARING MY CAR. 

LONELY SADNESS

GARDEN OF WORDS ANIME TRADITIONAL DEFINITION LOVE STORY  DEMONSTRATES HOW DEEPLY MY LIFE HAS BEEN PROGRAMMED.

I NEED TO CHANGE THAT.

I WANT FREEDOM TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE.

INGA AND MAURICE HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF HER PINCHED NERVE.  HIS TAKING HER TO HER APPOINTMENTS HAS CREATED THE OPPORTUNITY FOR THEM TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.  GOOD FROM BAD.

LONELY SAD LOVE-THE TRADITIONAL JAPANESE TRADITION IS SO 1400'S.  THE IDEA OF UNREQUITED LOVE IS MISTAKEN.  LEARY'S CIRCUMPLEX PROVES THAT. 

MOM AND DAD LOVED EACH OTHER STUCK IN JAPANESE.  SO STUPID LIVING IN USA ADHERING TO ERRONEOUS BELIEFS.  LIVE IN JAPAN. 

MY BACK IS BETTER AFTER STRETCHING AND STRETCHING AND STRETCHING.

ALEX SAVED ME THE NEWSPAPER PUZZLES.  TYGJ.

BUTTERFLIES

CHANGING FROM A CATERPILLAR TO A BUTTERFLY HURTS.

MY BACK IS CHANGING.  I'VE BEEN DOING MORE TOTAL BODY AND MY BACK IS SCREAMING.  NOT TIME TO MAKE OVER MY LIFE YET.

I'M GOING FROM SAD TO MAD.

MOM'S DEATH DAY IS COMING UP.  AND I'M MAD THAT SHE WANTED TO REMAIN A CHILD AND I NEVER HAD A MOTHER.  I'VE BEEN AN ORPHAN MY ENTIRE LIFE, AN UNPAID SERVANT. 

I CAN USE THE ENERGY TO BREAK FREE.

devastation

i slept at 10 exhausted, awoke at 2, took ww for back pain.  i awoke to a white hot sheet of devastation at 530,  i haven't felt since realizing i've been betrayed my entire life.  i have no one i can count on.  unrelenting.  i need someone to put me first.  may not ever happen.

GOD HAS ALWAYS LOVED ME, GUIDED AND PROTECTED ME.  GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN WITH ME FROM THE FIRST TIME I WAS LOCKED IN THE CLOSET BY THE DESCENDING CRUELTY OF THE FAMILY.  A FAMILY WITHOUT GOD.

i have to keep going.

HOT DOGS

YUM.  ROSE MARIE GAVE ME 6.  HALF PACKAGE KIRKLAND.  I PUZZLED TIL 330. 

I PICKED UP THE MONOPOLY TICKETS.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?  WHEN I ARRIVED AT TD THE PLUMBERS TRUCK WAS IN THE DRIVEWAY.  REPLACING THE BATHROOM FLOOR.  I STAYED A LITTLE WHILE AND WAS HOME 430.