my parents tried to make me a boy

it still hurts.  predators wound to better kill their prey.  i feel myself bleeding still from the wounds.  they weaken and cripple.  i wonder what i could have done and been.  reading about gender reveal reaction on tiktok.  more wounded crippled girls easy prey for predators.  that's why lazy parents cripple their kids boys and girls to make them perform.  SIGH.  easier to manipulate.  

i loaded free body armor drink safe way home stead.  after gym clearance 6/$2 do nuts and garlic baguette $2 and $20 change.  as i'm leaving a monk came in with all his worldly possesions.  he's american raised asian 35-40 shaved head immaculate wearing a red stanford tee.  speaks perfectly.  patrick call him henry.  filled b'fast large soup with hot clam chowder so i ended giving him my new perfect back pack i never used, $20, garlic bread.  same energy as eckhart tolle and thic nhat han.  i met and supported them too on their journeys.  i was sad to give up my perfect back pack he needed more than i.  if i can truly let it go i will leave a space for something even better to come into my life.  returned to car for new mask, sanitizer, wipes.

then family fall out feeling threatened doing good.  family threats criticisms.  telling me i'm stupid for doing good.  so i explained to toke asked her to tell me i'm ok.  she's wonderful.  she remembered sun day comics.  i forgot.  

i could go to sunny.  rainy cold.  

dst

i'm returning to simple and easy.  

to church?  two weeks 'til thanksgiving.  p a really did a number on my heart.  i'm not quite ready to trust again.

i'm excited

productive week.  i'm going to xmas craft fair first presbyterian 9-3.  took my time 9:30 Flora gave me big hug.  i told her free swim tues & thurs front desk told her classes only all full.  i found 4 books i wanted $3.  

stopped st just pantry sign up for holidays.  home i put away groceries ate waffle and strawberries had to nap.  awoke energized went to 24 Alex working will be transferring to Soquel.  dinner i opened princess chicken soup with salad.  ice cream dessert.  i found yogurt and toke's crackers.  

mellow fry day

loaded freebie yogurt drink.  so cold 45 o waited 'til 9.  swam then seniors.  lunch good company alex and toke so mellow.  walter came by i wanted to go puzzle at main.  great parking 1 pm puzzle trashed picked up new chrome zero charge sunny has hot spot.  my connection is covered for 3 weeks.  then safeway eggs and sushi for dinner.    

ooh, 'young rock' sea 3- eps 1 tonight.  i'll try watching again.  eh, if too many commercials i can borrow later.  i nuked and toasted chicken spring rolls for dessert.   

i'm hungry

heated rice beans chicken mole leftover lunch.  better than first time.  Danny's recycle no room in trunk and senior bookmobile 10 am.  pools great.  forgot suit in shower.  Parmesan chicken good.  salad creative lettuce beans beets i picked out diced peppers.   no toke finished early called star one with ira numbers and planned signing papers at s creek blvd.  first i went walmart checked water and gum none.  passing citi bank stopped closed paid bill atm.  signed forms finalized distribution 9/5/2023.  dad's death day.  

feeling successful $tore dinners and ice cream treat.  dropped off avocados oranges to toke.  

home tired hungry made bean burritos napped.  very productive week.

$70 to bart

expire today eh i'll get more.  i loaded free safeway tribe feta dip.  picked up @ home stead.  7 am i looked backyard to check wooden ladder and bart working barely light.  i paid him and gym was wonderful.  

mission cu deposit 133 water in metal bottle didn't want Halloween candy or coffee tea.  

11 am seniors missing suit.  oh well.  listened to healing.  after lunch puzzled a little.  driving i detoured to rite aid to get appointment and instead got my flu and booster.  easy peas y.  going to patelco to finalize ira transfer statement numbers my cdl was missing.  backtracked to rite aid finally found it in shot room.  patelco called ira division didn't want to look up numbers.  wanted me to go to my financial advisor i don't have.  finally gave me numbers.  they NEVER sent me any statements.  lack of disclosure and cooperation not good.  

24 hour picked up my suit and searched lucky's found vitamin gum.  home very tired ate chips cheese toast napped.  coupons expire nob hill i want to support just feeling tired.  maybe the shots.  i went used 4 coupons an hour walking the store i treated myself raspberry parfait.

i figured it out finally

i'm happy.  a certain type of man sees i'm happy and wants to take credit for my happiness.  that's why they start demanding changes.  i don't need a smart phone, or face book, or a man telling me what i need.

gym was great.  dollar tree i bought small olive oil for teeth brushing.  i love how it feels.  i swam at seniors and warm tub massage.  i was energized.  after lunch i puzzled 'til 2 then to chase withdrew.  remembered safeway soup, bread sale ends.  no vibes gum.  picked up holds at main distracted i stayed 'til 6:30 puzzle.  remembered eggs nob hill out bought boiled egg land free strawberries.  i may use other coupons tomorrow.