feeling pretty good

off to a rocky start but stretched back top pelvis.  considered bins, my health more important.  went $tore 3 chips, 2 vitamin c drops, m wash.  picked up lunch 10;39 # 12 walked park stretched.   beautiful 65 o.  stopped at raley's beef, cheese provolone swiss, peas.  ate lentils rice, vegs.  ok.  rested then cooked beef onions in garage.  rested.  watched 'airplane'.  drank chocolate turmeric.  

folded clothes; 44 pair socks, 9 pants, 3 sweats.  made rice, ate rice and beef onions.  fell asleep no wheel or jeopardy for hour and half.  watched part of bob hearts abishola.   

blog is doing weird things.

another sleepless night.

from friday shower and laundry.  friday exhausted 8;30 bed.  last night couldn't sleep watched 'darling buds of may' fell asleep 3-7.  woke back pelvis screaming lots of stretching popping cracking.  neck and shoulders tight.

for breakfast i added oatmeal to last night progresso beef barley onion carrot gravy stew.  watched episode german prejudice like my own jap experience being blamed for pearl harbor 'tho i wasn't even born.  trump world people use any excuse to try to control others the crazier the more effective. 

watching cesar 911 bike biting dog triggered memory of 8-9 year old me hit from behind by bike knocked to the ground and then another day woman driving car turning corner as i crossed monroe at lawrence knocked me over my books into the street.  they never stopped.  back injuries not all family beatings.

last week no tv reception and i was ok with it.  i don't have to watch it, i choose to watch.

constant debate with myself what to do.  i decided i'll do what is best health.  i went denny's no freebie so i checked out big lots 2 more bras.  one set ok.  went to citi no atm.  panda express to go orange chicken walnut shrimp chow mein.  $tore sunny no newspaper no chips 50 cent xmas cards, 4 pineapple sun glass case, 2 calendars.  hurrah!!

home i ate express lunch and dinner napped an hour.  so good.

'darling buds of may'

1991 i was in the middle of adjusting to mom and dad.  20 years i'd been away and they were exactly the same.  unchanged.  takes a lot of effort to stay the same.

the larkins were one of my adopted families.  i'm always me.  i can't imagine myself as any of the characters and i prefer to be myself.  i don't understand how actors choose to be other than themselves.  it used to be harder to maintain one's being.  projected energy can kill.  chadwick boseman.

i woke dream in heaven my backyard.  my cat was playing in moist leaves with hermit crab.  i'm the hermit crab moving from home to home when i outgrow them.  that's what i do.

ruth h ackerman

revisiting ghosts of the past.  thinking of unity, science of mind, gilroy, gavilan hills church, jean v millerd low 5/14/36-9/16/13, ruth ackerman 12/13/41, janet, joel.  ruth pimped out janet like alien pimps out everyone.  gavilan hills church of which i'm a founding member 1985-6.  i did course in miracles in one year.  miracle.  everyone else dropped out.  

what a good girl am i.  i showered 8;30, dressed, loaded clothes debating wash today or tomorrow.  to the scott laundry 10, done 10;30, walked stretched, picked up lunch, was going to mission drop off dvds spirit detoured me to main, picked up gingerbread picture to color and comic con goody bag, dropped off movies, home emptied car, hung clothes an hour.  special fun.  ate ok lunch.  rest.  ate ma salad dinner.  teaspoon raw onions ugh.  picked out what i could.      allergy makes me sleepy.  

i'm a different me.

4 bras-prop tax

feeling restless at 8;30 and not enamored with news or 'murder she wrote' i dressed and went to campbell.  i walked store looking for small calendar, leg warmer and bras and realized i wanted big lots.  clearance 50 cent tall garbage bags.  drove there walked store $3 for 2 year purse calendar.  no bras at all.  i asked and was told none.  i went to car and remembered leg warmers .   went back minus jacket warming up.  looked for socks and found $11 for 2 bras.  bought 4.  so now i know what campbell has.

left home 9;07 arrived seniors 10;07 # 5.  walked stretched even after store walks.  home caught all green lights.  ate ok lunch and tried bras didn't fit comfortably.  oh, well.  considered returning them but i have 'til 1/15/2021.  

watched 'hope gap.'  interesting about seniors, divorce, moving on.  

feeling ok

i have some energy today.  how to use it.  i received my first card from della.  mailed 11/30.  next day delivery.  pretty good.  i finally figured out the indentation is paragraph setting to normal.  another mystery solved.  i don't have to backspace each post now.

they are very late today.  got here 10;21 #7 walked, stretched, ruminated.   had a good talk with myself.  i always forget to start my day asking for what i want.  now i have no sense of impending doom asking.  'the nail standing up is hammered down.'

biggest fear

self fulfilling prophecies.  i want to be happy, healthy, wealthy, wise.  being crippled would be a bummer.  well i woke from a restless night finally knowing why i can't sleep.  my fear keeps me moving.  fight or flight.  running to or running away.  fighting for my health.

second biggest fear; well, it's that time 44 degrees when i left at 10 and the check engine light came on.   the last two cars i've owned don't like the cold.  i called carlos, he was test driving a car.  i walked and stretched.  i called back got voice mail.  realized i needed to write out life insurance.  mailed p o.  i need check register.  figured since i was close i'd swing by car shop.  carlos fixed air sensor reset computer $20.  

drove to withdraw chase then deposit star one 10 minute line.  on to library ate lunch.  picked up 11 dvds.  dollar store 2 pks socks, 2 cough drops, 3 stretcher bars hurrah.  home 2;30.  watched love boat.

i have to get auntie's pictures for her birthday and pay prop taxes this week.  

i toasted corn bread, sliced one onion, cooked it, added diced real carrot, diced potato, can of progress beef stew.  diced radish in bottom of bowl.  so good.