i'm listening

I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 8.  I'M STAYING UP LATER.  WHEN I WAS PAIN RACKED I'D BE EXHAUSTED BY 8-9.  NOW I WAKE TO STIFFNESS DUE TO SLOWER CIRCULATION.  PAIN=INFLAMMATION.  I'M RUNNING COOLER.

I OPENED TWO CANS TUNA (I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY PEOPLE OMIT PREPOSITIONS IN SPEECH.  LAZY OR MORE EFFICIENT.  YOU DECIDE.)  FOR SANDWICH AND CREAMED.  I COOKED THE FOUR RED POTATOES.  I HAVE LOTS OF MILK.  I SLICED/CHOPPED UP SOME LETTUCE.

LITTLE BY LITTLE I'M CLEARING, CLEANING, AND USING WHAT I HAVE.  MY SEWING PROJECTS TOO.  I WAIT FOR INSPIRATION.  I'M PLASTIC BAGGING BY PROJECT.   I'M WEARING IMPOSSIBLE PINK EMBROIDERED MILITARY JACKET.  MAKES ME FEEL PRETTY.  I HAD TO TAKE IT APART.  I HAD IT FOR YEARS.  MUST HAVE BEEN PROTOTYPE.  COULDN'T GET INTO IT. 

I'M WATCHING FATHER DOWLING MARATHON.  DON'T LIKE TOM BOSLEY'S VOICE AND SPEECH PATTERNS BUT ENJOY TRACY NELSON (RICK NELSON) DESPITE HER VOICE PITCH.

LEE ALBERT PBS 3 STEPS TO PAIN FREE LIVING.  THE SIMPLE MECHANICS OF PAIN.

smelling the roses

LYING IN BED I ADMIRE THE PLUMERIA HAIR CLIPS CATHY GAVE ME SURROUNDING MY CALENDAR, THE BRACELET, 3 CASES BOTTLED WATER.  SHE GETS ME.  SHE CARES ABOUT ME.  SHE KNEW ME MAYBE 6 MONTHS.  SO IT ISN'T ME IT'S THEM.  EVERY ONE IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN A REPEAT OF MY FAMILY.

I'M TOTALLY APPRECIATING MY CREATURE COMFORTS.  AND MY OATMEAL JERKY COMBINATION.

I COULDN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO BUY NICOTINE GUM TODAY WHEN I PAID PGE AT WALMART SO I DIDN'T.  I DID GET LETTUCE $1.38.  I DROVE TO VF SAFEWAY TO GET FREEBIES AND WAS TOLD NO PERSONAL SHOPPING BAGS BUT THEN HE DIDN'T BAG MY LIP BALM, POPCORN, SPAGHETTI, DRY LIMA BEANS.  THE WEIRDO.  AND ONLY 4 TICKETS.  GAME ENDS 5/5.  ALSO I ASKED ABOUT SINGLE DOUGHNUT COUPONS TOWARD SEALED BOXES.  HE SAID NO.  GLAD I DIDN'T REDEEM FREE TICKETS FROM HIM.

DAILY WORD DIVINE ORDER.  I'M PLAYING PCH ONLINE QUIZZES AND RACKING UP POINTS.

another sleepless night

OF PAIN FILLED MEMORIES LEECHING OUT OF THE BODY.  I'M GRATEFUL TO RID MYSELF OF THE PAIN.  AILEEN STOLE MY HOPE CHEST WHILE I WAS BEDRIDDEN, SOLD IT DURING HER FORDHAM GARAGE SALE MITZI HELPED HER.  Mitzi suggesting I have a garage sale to clear Aileen's rejects is so insulting.  I'M WITHOUT WORDS.  MY HOPES AND DREAMS, CHINA, CRYSTAL, FLATWARE, LAMPS, 35 YEARS OF COLLECTIBLES, ETC.  DAD INSISTED I STORE MY LIFE ON THE PATIO.  I DIDN'T REALIZE TO RUMMAGE THROUGH.

I TOOK 2 WHITE WILLOW AND GRAPEFRUIT JUICE.  I'LL EAT SOME TOO.  GOD PROVIDES 1 ALREADY PEELED 1 STILL IN TRUNK.

I WENT TO HOMESTEAD SAFEWAY TO REDEEM MONOPOLY FREEBIES.  SELF CHECK WON'T TAKE COUPONS SO I GOT 13 GAME PIECES SELF CHECK SHORTED ME 1.  I LET IT GO AND WENT THROUGH THE LINE AND PICKED UP 44/ 7.

GOOD ONLINE RECEPTION ON HARRISON ZERO ON JEFFERSON WAITING IN LUNCH LINE.  TINY CREAM TUNA, COLD BISCUIT, TINY LETTUCE CUP.  ALLERGIC TO CANTALOUPE.

LEGS, BACK, BUTT SO SORE.  MORE WHITE WILLOW. MY PAIN IS SO BAD MY STOMACH IS UPSET OR MAYBE THE NERVES.

TURNED INTO A GOOD DAY.  I WORE THE NEW DENIM DRESS I TOOK THE UGLY SLEEVES OFF, TOOK IN THE UNDER ARMS.  I LOVE NEW CLOTHES.  THE FABRIC FEELS SO GOOD.  FEELS LIKE IT WILL LAST FOREVER.  I LIKE OLD SOFT WORN CLOTHES TOO BUT I KNOW THEY WON'T LAST FOREVER.

I MADE OATMEAL WITH JERKY.  SO GOOD.  I HAVE JERKY I BOUGHT ON SALE THAT I KEEP FORGETTING TO EAT.  NOW I'LL REMEMBER.  AND I KNOW WHY I BOUGHT SO MUCH. 

 

ouchy

PUSHED MY LIMITS.  I'M FEELING IT BIG TIME.  I'LL JUST KEEP PUTTING ONE FOOT AND THEN THE OTHER FOOT. 

WOKE 6 IN PAIN.  I'VE BEEN PRETTY GOOD.  TODAY REMINDS ME.

I WANTED YAM FOR BREAKFAST SO I'M COOKING IN MICROWAVE.  OR I COULD OPEN A CAN.  HM....   I COOKED IT COVERED WITH WATER 7 TO BOIL 10 MINUTES MEDIUM.  PERFECTLY DELICIOUS.

PICKED UP LUNCH, ATE IT WATCHING MEDIUM.  I FINALLY FIGURED OUT MY FASCINATION WITH CRIME MAKES MY SISTERS' TREATMENT OF ME RELATIVELY BETTER. 

xiaoke

pat and mike

A LOT OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT.  MOVIES FASCINATE ME.  THE ACTORS AND THEN THEIR REAL LIVES.  MAYBE WHY MOVIES ARE SO POPULAR.  FICTION IS POPULAR.

OUR BRAINS MUST BE HARDWIRED FOR FICTION OR WE'D STILL BE LIVING IN CAVES.  WE TAKE WHAT IS AND IMAGINE WHAT CAN BE.  I THINK IMAGINATION IS WHAT DIFFERENTIATES MAN FROM OTHER ANIMALS.

I SAW 'ALFALFA' AS A BUSBOY AND CHECKED ON WIKIPEDIA TO VERIFY.  WHAT A SAD LIFE.  SHOT TO DEATH AT 31.  I'D SEEN HIM IN A FEW MOVIES AND ALWAYS WONDERED.  THEN I LOOKED UP ALDO RAY.  FASCINATING HOW PEOPLE BECAME ACTORS AND HOW THEY END.

 I'M LYING IN BED LISTENING TO SECRET II CD READING ABOUT HOW OTHERS CHOOSE TO LIVE THEIR LIVES.  HEAVEN.  AN HOUR GOES BY.

HEAVEN=DOING WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT.  FREEDOM.

let's see what 24th holds.

I GOT TO SENIORS 10;39 AND LONG LINE.  I HAVE LOTS OF TOYS TO PLAY WITH, SNACKS, JUICE, WATER.  AFTER PICK UP I WENT TO HOMESTEAD SAFEWAY, 85 GAME PIECES FOR 3 SALADS, CLEARANCE; TOMATOES, CANNED CHICKEN.  FREE VINEGAR.

I FEEL I'VE LIVED 2 DAYS TODAY. 

I GOT MY COVID CHECK YESTERDAY.  I CHECKED MY ACCOUNT.  JUST IN TIME FOR MY FOOD.  I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM EITHER EASTER CARD. 

8 YRS BED RIDDEN

BEEN HERE BEFORE.  THIS TIME I'M HEALTHY AND PROCESSING THE PAST.  I'M MOBILE. 

I MIXED THE FLAVORED OATMEAL 2/1.  IT'S OK.  I'M EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED.  I DO LITTLE THINGS DAILY AND CLEARING HOME AS I PROCESS MEMORIES. 

I DON'T EXPECT MITZI OR AILEEN TO CHANGE.  I STILL HOPE THOUGH.  I WANT TO STOP HOPING.  IT HURTS TOO MUCH.  I CAN ONLY REMIND MYSELF THEY'RE NOT MY FAMILY.  I HAVE TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM THEM. 

I HAVE TO GO TARGET BEFORE SENIORS.  MAYBE TOMORROW.  MAYBE NOT.

I'VE STARTED MY TAILORING PROJECTS AGAIN.  MAKING MY LIFE PERFECT. 

I WANT HEAVEN

I SLEPT SO SOUNDLY LISTENING ALL NIGHT TO CD.  I KEPT WAKING HAPPILY AND RETURNING.  EVERYONE DESERVES THAT HAPPINESS.  IF EVERYONE WERE HAPPY THERE' BE NO GREED OR STRIFE.  MY PHILOSOPHY SINCE 8 YRS OLD. 

FELT PRETTY GOOD STRETCHING NO BRACE ALL DAY SO DRESSED, DID BINS AND WENT MARIA SAFEWAY 2 SEAFOOD SALADS, FREE FOIL, TRAIL MIX.  11 GAME FOR 2.  $V PADS, NEWSPAPER, ONE A DAY.