94%

left COMPUTER.  I SPENT A SLEEPLESS NIGHT.  I WATCHED THE BIG BLUE TICK-PATRICK WARBURTON AND DREAMED OF A BROWN 3 " TICK TANGLED LEFT SIDE HAIR.  SO I WAS FITFUL FROM 1:30 SOUP BM TO 6:30.  TICKS ARE BLOOD SUCKERS DRAINING MY ENERGY.

LISTENING TO KELLY HOWELL CD IS ALTERING MY BRAIN.  I FORGOT MY BAG ON THE LUNCH TABLE.  I NOTICED WHEN I WAS CHARGING CHROME AND DECIDED TO CHARGE PHONE.  I WENT BACK THE TABLE WAS EMPTY AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING OR SAVED IT FOR ME.  NO SUPPORT.

THEN I WENT TO THE RESTROOM BEFORE CAMPBELL AND LEFT IT HANGING.  I IMMEDIATELY WENT BACK.  SCARY. 

TUESDAY CHANNEL 7 DISAPPEARED.  I STARTED WATCHING LIVE ACTION LITTLE MERMAID AND IT WENT AWAY.  IT'S BACK SKETCHY.  I MISSED JEOPARDY AND I'M OK.  2, 5, 11.3 IS HIGH DEFINITION.  SUPER SHARP. 

I GOT $35 BILL FROM EYES. 

feeling tired and ok

I THOUGHT OF GOING TO DMV BUT I WAS PUZZLING AND MY EYES WERE NOT THE CLEAREST.  SO I PICKED UP DVD FROM CENTRAL.  I WANTED TO FIND $.  I CHECKED FULL COPY ROOM, WENT UPSTAIRS TO USED COPY ROOM AND HUNG OUT 4 HOUR MAX COMPUTER.  WHEN I WAS READY  I CHECKED UPSTAIRS AND DOWNSTAIRS I FOUND QUARTER IN THE MIDDLE OF EMPTY COPY ROOM.

I REMEMBERED TO CHECK LOUISE HAY CD.  I HAVE TO RETURN CAMPBELL'S.  I FOUND 3 AND ORDERED 1.  LISTENING TO KELLY HOWELL I FELT A WAVE OF TERROR.  LIKE WHEN I MET DELORISE LUCAS 'MOMMA'.

I LOVE FINDING MONEY.  FREE THINGS.  BARGAINS.  THINGS ARE ONLY WORTH WHAT YOU VALUE.  IT'S TOTALLY ARBITRARY.  GOLD AND DIAMONDS ARE ONLY SYMBOLS.  YOU CAN'T EAT THEM.

I GOT 2 SERVINGS BEANS ASPARAGUS TO ADD TO PANERA CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP HAD KIDNEY BEANS.  I ADDED PINE NUTS STILL BLAND AND WASABI ALMONDS PUNCHED IT UP.  LETTUCE I WASHED FROM SANDWICH WHICH HAD NO CRANBERRY TO SPEAK OF TURKEY.  I WAS STILL HUNGRY AFTER LUNCH AND INGE GAVE ART PIECE OF PIZZA NOT ME.  I MADE SOUP DELICIOUS.

I WON'T GET THAT AGAIN.

I'LL MAKE MY OWN CRANBERRY RELISH/MARMALADE TO GO WITH TURKEY.

DISCERNMENT.

THE ABILITY TO DECIDE WISELY.  DAILY WORD.

LUNCH WAS OK.  I CONSIDERED DMV AND DECIDED LATER.  I CAME HOME WITH POTATOES, LETTUCE FROM LUNCH TO ADD TO PANERA 2 FOR ONE SOUP.  I SAW PINE NUTS ADDED THOSE TOO.  YUM.....

I TOSSED THE AVOCADOS AND GUAVAS I LEFT IN 1 ROOM.  I PICKED SOME KIWIS.  THERE'S SO MUCH MORE.  I ATE A RIPE ONE.  GOOD.  I CUT IT IN HALF AND SCOOPED IT.

ERIC-HEAVEN

I DREAMED I WAS DRIVING SAN JOSE FEELING 2 LANES ONE WAY STREET TO ERIC'S HOUSE TO TAKE HIM TO EARLY DINNER.  HE'S BOTH A BODY AND CLEAR BAG OF CHEMICALS.  I ZIP THE BAG IN MY JACKET TO KEEP HIM WARM AND PROTECT HIM.

HE'S HELPING ME FIND MY LOVE.  HE'S RESTING NOW TOO.

I RESTED AND I'M ENJOYING MY PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY HARD WORK.  I DID MY BANKING, LINED UP MY BILLS, PREPARED DMV RENEWAL, SCHEDULED MY HEALTH APPOINTMENTS.  I'M GOING TO DO HEALTH EVERY AUTUMN.  I LIKE IT COOLER AND NOT RUSHED LIKE SPRING.

I WONDER IF HEALTH CARE WANTS TO TAKE SUMMER AND WINTER OFF SO THEY PUSH AND PRESSURE IN SPRING.

I WENT $AN CARLOS, $ TREE THEN CIRO MAMMOGRAM.  S V EYE CALLED 2 P M NO APPOINTMENT AUTHORIZATION ONLY PROCEDURE.  SO POSTPONED NEXT WEEK.  WEIRD.  I'M CALLING DR CHUNG TO SEE IF NECESSARY. 

DST

TIME TO CHANGE CLOCKS AND BATTERIES.

NOW I'VE BEEN STRESSING LAB CORP, MAMMOGRAM, EYE DOCTOR  CALLED YESTERDAY 8;14 WHILE I WAS FILLING IN DMV.  I'M READY.

THE OLD ME DIES WHILE THE NEW ME IS BORN.

I MAY STAY IN BED ALL DAY.  FROM 2001-2003 I GOT SICKER AND SICKER.  THEN I HAD EXPLORATORY SURGERY AND MITZI IN FRONT OF THE DOCTOR IN HER OFFICE REFUSED TO DRIVE OR HELP ME.  I WAS ASHAMED.  THE DOCTOR THOUGHT MY 30 YEAR CYST MIGHT BE CANCER SINCE IT TRIPLED IN SIZE IN ONE YEAR.  THEY REMOVED AN ENCAPSULATED INFECTION I'D HAD SINCE 1972.  LASER SURGERY IS MAGIC.

'TIL 2008 I'D SPENT 3000 DAYS IN BED.  I COULDN'T SIT IN A CHAIR, STAND OR RIDE UPRIGHT IN A CAR WITHOUT FEELING SICK TO MY STOMACH MY BLOOD PRESSURE AND SUGAR DROPPING FEELING FAINT.  I'D RIPPED ALL THE MUSCLES IN MY BACK CARING FOR DAD THEN MOM.  AND SHE DIED LEAVING ME WITH THE EVIL SISTERS.  MOM WAS JUST AS DELUDED AS ME THINKING THEY WERE GOOD PEOPLE.  AND NOW WE KNOW BETTER.  AILEEN ALWAYS BRAGGED ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE SHE WAS AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE HER.  SHE CALLED HERSELF THE BAD SEED AND DEVIL. 

MY DIGESTION WAS SO MESSED UP I COULDN'T EAT ANYTHING WITHOUT SUFFERING EXCRUCIATING PAIN.  VICODIN WAS ALL NURSE GINSBERG WOULD PRESCRIBE UNTIL I REFUSED TO GO BACK TO SEE HER THEN I GOT THE MUSCLE RELAXERS I'D BEEN BEGGING FOR.  THE COUNSELOR WOULDN'T HELP ME AND WANTED ME TO SEE HER OUTSIDE KAISER.  KAISER DOESN'T MAKE MONEY UNLESS YOU'RE SICK AND THE SICKER YOU ARE THE MORE MONEY THEY MAKE.  NOT EARN MAKE.  BIG DIFFERENCE.  THEY DON'T EARN IT.

ANOTHER MONTH

MAYBE I HAVE END OF THE MONTH BLUES.  THIS LAST WEEK WITH THE POOR AIR QUALITY I'VE FELT TIRED.  OXYGEN WATER HELPS.  PROPEL TOO.  I NAPPED 3 HOURS.

I'M WATCHING THE CARL REINER PILOT FOR THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW.  I LIKE IT SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE REGULAR SHOW. 

getting used to bad air

TODAY WAS PRETTY GOOD.  I DID MY BANKING, GOT MY FREE VITAMIN PROPEL AT LUCKY'S AND CHECKED OUT AN ESTATE SALE.  I DECIDED TO DRIVE HOME BENTON TO AVOID STRESS. 

I WORE MY LINEN DRESS FROM THE CLOSET MAYBE 10 YEARS OLD.  I WORE MOM'S BUTTERFLY WING PIN.  I'M FEELING BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.