w/o 4 day-

I'm OK day 3-80/59

 I'm getting used to freedom and loving life.  

day 2 no hot spot-85/59

Walter won't admit that coffee and chocolate candy for b'fast contributes to his acid stomach.  

back in the saddle.  8 am soak and stretch.  lunch pretty good today beef broccoli brown rice coleslaw.  and adopted 2 potatoes, mac cheese, Ruben 2 juice and 2 chips I ate.  besides I remembered central library yard sale discards: micro plate, various small vases.  

I'm checking and cleaning Wysocki puzzle 300 21X15.  I'm playing and snacking.  my happy childhood.  

Magnesium from dollar tree-87/59

it works.  I slept great and awoke energized.  Louise Hay the soil is depleted due to "modern" agriculture".  

I finished the Yosemite puzzle.  and lunch turkey burger tasty.  Fred, Toki. Walter.  Ruben gave me last piece of blueberry creme cake in container.  very good.  

I found 'Hatari', 'Cactus Flower, Beach Boys karaoke in central book store.  upstairs at puzzle young rudeness expected me to do all the work.  so I'm resting in copy room listening to Louise.  enjoying my snacks.  

"what you appreciate appreciates" Louise.  

living room avalanche-87/54-returned hot spot

my third area.  the front door laundry falling was a balancing act.  and the kitchen mess all barricades against the sisters.  camouflage.  the only way to keep my stuff.  they take my things to inconvenience me.  huh, they want me to kill myself.  dad's alcoholic dad hung himself in the front yard. 

theta waves.  

front door shoe rack

fell apart.  and I remained calm.  it was slightly interesting.  I'll have to pick it up.  

I went to seniors 7:58 stretched and soaked.  I bought roast beef lunch bag then St Justin 10:21 no line and weekend bag.  I relaxed and played walking through the book sale.  I ate the potato bun from yesterday and juice.  back to the bag sale 10/$5.  

took me 2 hours to re assemble and sort through shoes and plastic bags.  

I'm Matilda/Melinda

I waited patiently and renewed my chrome when no holds.  so I'm clear.

old timer Viet Nam vet trying to involve me I'm out talking him on Trump.  he tried to intimidate my use of chair by claiming I had athletes foot which he already has in great detail on his head, butt, feet.  

Progress not perfection

 perfectly imperfect.

best day yet 88 degrees

 4:30 starting to cool 86.

I wore my new denim dress.  used new 100% cotton beach tie dye towel.  

Matilda gets adopted 1996 movie

not me.  

I soaked and stretched.  lunch with Fred, Toki, Walter.  Salome sat at the end.  she wanted Walter to do something he declined so she's resentful.  

lunch was HORRIBLE fatty tough corned beef.  I'm delightfully spoiled by St Justin.  TYGJ.  

I relaxed, puzzled, left library 6:30, walked  senior Savers 2 new towels, denim dress $15.  

WOO!! home 8 pm.

the psychology behind buying

secretsofpropaganda.com highjacked Louise Hay

Dan Kennedy marketing mesmerism.  Russell Brunson new Tony Robbins.

I feel exfoliated

I'm playing.  I soaked and stretched.  lunch was Fred and Walter.  I forgot I had corned beef at home so I gave Ruben the dinner and Elizabeth the chicken covered in red bell pepper.  

I returned Maria Twitty's call.  an hour of rambling scripture I already knew.  she's still grieving her divorce making excuses for him.  

I left library 5:30.

My Dreams of You 2024

soothing.  I'm feeling shaky.  when life feels great I'm afraid my family will stomp on me.  a lifetime of abuse takes practice to erase.  I'm doing it evidenced by my fun times.  

apple pie and ham and cheese.  my stomach is queasy from the dairy.  the cottage cheese was worth it.  

I'm re configuring my life.  I found 3 squeeze flashlights and I'm giving the one with tags to Leta with the valentines swirly straw cup and stretchy turtle hematite bracelet.  I decided to store my dinosaur and Disney back packs.  'fun fun silly willy' Pinky.  

Leta went to her Anthony's b'day party and I won bingo twice.  Marie invited me to sit with the senior center.  Jane and Ed were their argumentative selves.  they insisted on more cards than they could handle and complained throughout.  Ed insisted he wasn't stupid when he complained and demonstrated his stupidity to the room.  

I went to Central to puzzle and fill the 4 water bottles I used to rinse my car.  very satisfying day.  

BLISS-PI Day 3.14152-TOMORROW ST JUST BINGO 1:30

affirmations set my course for my miracles.  1976 I started affirmations Sondra Ray "I deserve Love" 1986 'Course in Miracles' in Gilroy.

"My Dreams of You" Hallmark movie moved me.  sounds unbelievable I know.  I actually liked it.  

I soaked and stretched observing Dave and the model.  he's used to being adored and always faces his audience like a sunflower following the sun.  heliocentric.  

I'm eating and playing and having my happy childhood.  Sprouts had double crust apple pie for $3.14 Pi Day.

more good days.

two days in a row-gave Mallory best friend Oscar this Sunday-paid phone & city

as I leave this planet I now have fond memories.  Bob Hope hosted the Oscars 19 times "thanks for the memories".  "Big Broadcast 1938".  

the senior's suit spinner is leaking water.  still works.  

AAHH it came to me my itchy ribs.  I'm tickling myself.  yesterday I was tempted to fake throw an orange at Cody while shouting 'think fast!' and successfully refrained.  and it occurred to me that switching the table numbers at lunch would be an interesting prank and refrained.  mom was always pulling pranks meant to instill fear and anxiety.  not good ones.  

Fred, Toki, Walter all TGIF'd so I went to County.  auto return machines not hooked up, I was told to toss in bin.  

Sunshine asked if I went to Senior Suicide focus group when I sat next to her.

Louise 1976 blue book.  I'm listening and practicing at Central.  "

1:30 Mallory meeting

I am blessed by so much food.  2 extra lunches, Walter's tuna celery lettuce tomato, half of Fred's.  Cindy's 2 PB cookies.  tiny potato pollock hot meal.  I ate tuna and feel sleepy.  

Thomas, Vera, Inge, David, Martin and Sunshine came to Suicide website focus group.  an hour well spent.  snacks of fresh strawberries and PB crackers.  2 waters.  

new behavior after 3 am bathroom break I ate lasagna b'fast and slept 'til 8.  so rested.  I dressed and was in the pool by 9.  Cody bookmobile 10.

I decided to let Sunny expire today.  I already have a central copy and it isn't that good.  

central library David showed up at 5 I gave him wooden red bird puzzle Sammy there I asked about his niece.  lovely dinner of 2 fish, fresh strawberries.  

lasagna b'fast

I'm feeling happy.  my back is screaming and I'm OK with it.  I'm lying in a warm cozy.  

back to work.  lunch with Fred, Trudy, Kenny, Toki, Walter still upset that Gil approached him yesterday and everyone scattered.  practically evaporated.  he had to confront his creating his experience.  he was quite crabby.  

library I finished 2 puzzles and my walking Savers.  I have so much food.  Ruben gave me his goody bag and Walter his tuna.  I walked Gro O and bought coconut drink.  only one left.  home at 6 pm.  last night I drove the expressway, tonight I drove through town.  more peaceful.  

near sight not subject to size only distance

I find that interesting.  autism makes life interesting.  Inge offered note pads and pens I took 2.  

a sneezy day.  pollen moderate somewhere.  

I don't know what I'm feeling emotionally.  I'm feeling scattered.  an internal wind storm.  

I went to Savers after lunch and the library.  the new boxed air fryer senior discount $17.49, new red roller $4.20, facial cloths $1.40.  Grocery Outlet I bought lasagna $4.99 and salad $1.49.  so good.   

Pay Citibank by tomorrow-PAID

I'm using DST to advantage.  new behavior.  I usually just feel resentment to change.  typical autism reaction.  I'm relaxing into today.  I'm deep breathing into my feelings.  calming my stomach.  

Until I was 4 and we came from Hawaii to the mainland I was loved.  while arriving at night I saw the landing lights and thought I was in Fairyland.  the next morning was cold drab and loveless.  

DST+1

I changed my clocks.   I thought about laundry and decided to rest.  the smoked corned beef, potato, soda bread was so delicious.  I retrieved the butter from the car.  

ooh, bananas.  calming food.  3 in car.  

I'm feeling so much inner conflict turmoil.  this is what addicts cover up just prolonging the pain.  

1) I am willing to change my thinking.

2) changing my thoughts changes my chemistry.  

3) my chemistry forms my feelings.  

4) my feelings=emotions =energy in motion constructs my experience.  

TCMe-I paid Prop Tax listening to Louise

I'm resting for St Justin's  St Patrick dinner courtesy of Lita Cairel.  I don't know if I like it.  I feel inner resistance.  I don't know.  doesn't feel authentic.  not my resistance.  just stored in my gut.

I'm practicing attentiveness.  

I feel resentful of the years I spent attending to a family that never appreciated me.  this is all coming out of my tissues.  I can feel it in my gut.  

I've been truly blessed.  Lita shared her beautiful, caring and supportive family with me.  they included me in everything, made me feel so welcome.  my family in Hawaii is here.  the family my parents denied me by moving here.  

chrome froze

the battery had to run down to shut off.  only took me half hour to restore pages.  I still got stressed and blamed myself.  

lovely days.  library coughing man probably making everyone sick.  

Mirreck gave me a dozen grapefruit from his tree.  I'm feeling guilty.  bad family induced habit.  delicious after left over lunch for dinner.  

I'm having fun no time to blog

seniors 8 am, lunch, Fred and Walter, 4 extra pcs fish.  woo hoo!  I rested at central playing in the copy room listening to healing puzzling.  

Lasagna b'fast-paid Bartolo-Savers Orange tags

I forgot to fill up the gas this morning, by afternoon already up .25/gal.  last night's news warned of rising prices due to war.

I soaked, swam, puzzled, then lunch Fred, Toki, Walter, Salome.  I still had yesterday's lunch in the car I forgot.  I walked Savers looking at everything deciding on 2 NEW backpacks $5+$4.  I decided I wanted to drive calmly so I drove back roads.  calm restful, relaxing.  

lovely warm 65 degree day I unloaded the trunk and lunches.  

Heaven

I release all forms of sabotage.  

seniors ok I walked Savers 30% off.  Grocery Outlet lasagna $5 and coconut pineapple $.99.  

water salt 7:30 am-paid Discover bill by phone due date

2 bags Home Depot delivered.  2 pm I put it in the garage.  I used 3 plastic tubs and loaded half a bag, 20 lbs. in softener.

I checked Raley's ad and picked up dinner and b'fast, 4 cans of almonds $4.71 ea 7 oz, grapefruit mix $1.50, salad, cottage cheese, coconut electrolyte drink.  

Heaven.  

'Better than Fine' 2023 film-IRAN WAR DAY ONE

odd little movie.  I'm watching 'Neighborhood.'  I put out garbage.  

lovely do nothing day.  

I remembered to get clean socks from the car and rolled up the windows.    

hungry

fish & cauliflower b'fast.  I put out house recycle and filled supplements.  

St Justin lunch Sunshine and Gloria, Ruben.  one cheese and ham cheese.  doritos, lay's.  3 funerals parking I got last space in front of church partially blocked by hearse.  I suppose I could have walked from library.  

I ate my lunch, read, listened to healing in the copy room.  how perfect.  I rested then puzzled.  

I went to Savers Yellow tags and bought a dinosaur purse and dream catcher.  

end of month blues-ST JUST 3/7 SAT St Pat dinner LITA Walter Cairel-senior bingo 3/15 1:30

I'm wearing my new denim.  cheers me up to enjoy new.  

PCH sign in required so weird.  lunch with Walter 2 extra fish.  I went to Safeway last 3 bacon grilled cheese chips.  returned to seniors to pick up roast beef and turkey just as Trudy and Kenny leaving gave them one.  perfect.  3 pm snack so good.  I feel substantial.  

home at 5 Bartolo dumped trash in recycle I called him and put bag in trash to clean up.  he showed up as I was straightening out mess.  I talked about Bayline cleaning up and Bartolo broke umbrella.  he knows better doesn't do better.  there is a plastic of oil he claims was in green bin I told him I can put out May city clean up.  again Bartolo claiming he'd put out lumber scrap.  he hasn't.  he had another car denting at fault.  I shared my experience with SALA, Karen Kuek, and CSAA.  

ready last night-HOT SPOT

I thought as much.  I can collect my hot spot.  

Paula gave everyone so many goodies, over 2 doz doughnuts, baklava, half a p'nut butter choc pie, bread, croissants.  the sugar fairy.  

b'fast was a pork chop I slow nuked last night with Italian dressing.  3/$2.69 Lucky's Eggland $3.99 and 2 clearance toasted sesame seeds $2.69.  bacon grilled cheese Lay's $3.99 too much.  tomorrow I'll check Safeway 2/$5 Friday.  

I considered Savers maybe later.  at 3 pm Megan said I couldn't listen to chrome.  they allow loud talking just not ME.  I drove to Sunny Sprouts first 2 salads 98 cents ea.  Ross I tried on 3 dresses, bought 2 denim, resisted buying candy.  returned movies books.  

3/12 senior study-1:30-2:30=24 hr hot spot

oh, darling Mallory.  

yesterday was so weird.  I had to keep signing in.  

Savers?-20/55

 I'm practicing seeing only God.  I need practice.  

I chatted-1:20 pm 25/55

Sunnyvale website doesn't open I chose to chat r/t call and they can't get in either.  interesting.  they'll fix it.  

I spent all of yesterday watching my favorite movies.  I deserve the most fun.  

and today playing at the library.  I ate almond sea salt and chewy.  

Playing 31/55

I soaked and stretched in my new swim suit.  I washed soft leopard gloves.  I have black bean corn salad Walter got me.  2 bananas, 2 juices.  

I finished car puzzle at central.  very relaxing new and different feeling of anticipation.  a new form of anxiety.  

icy car

I took my time getting to seniors, so cold.  I played on the puzzle, showered, lunch Fred, Toki, Walter.  

I love doing only what I want.  my life had been doing what was expected or what others wanted.  

i was going to Savers to walk off Burgos stress when I remembered CVS medicare.  I went to Ross first tried on 3 bathing suits bought one $12.99.  next seven denim dresses bought one $17.99 another $14.99.  Walter's favorite chocolate $5.29 and one for me.  total $71.65.  

CVS BOGO CoQ10 and beets OTC total $50.91.  Oscar statue "best friend" $10.90.  yes I am.

looked at Homes for bacon grilled cheese Lay's chips 2/$5 Friday settled for less salt.  went to College store clerk explained every season 4 new flavors tested may be a one time test.  I found 2 clearance bags Lindor dark strawberry truffles $7.29 ea.  

new puzzles in library copy room-36/55

it came to me that I can do 300 piece puzzles while listening to healing.  

Trudy Kenny, Fred, Toki, Walter green cupcakes.  extra penne pasta.

Chris Burgos Community Service not reg PD so ergo rotten report.  he talked fraud scam noon-1 pm Dino Medar sponsor.  

I walked Savers to calm myself 1:30-4.  I love looking at everything.  I bought $5 purple tag 50% white shirt and small white shelf $1.50.  Grocery Outlet I bought lasagna and peas home via Expy.  

returned Anthony's call to clean up it's been so lovely rainy today.  he's planning on tomorrow clean up.

love my new schedule

weirdly relaxed.  so icy cold.  I used water on frozen windshield.  

air pressure light came on freezing temp.  after lunch I remembered on the way to library stopped in America tires #3.  all cars outside low pressure.  25/32 well 29 cold.  

beef potatoes b'fast-Sunny 37/55

for $6.50 over 4 meals.  I'm enjoying my new bags configuration.  old navy for chrome and pink for phone.

no water heater seniors no massage my back is screaming.   Fred was early Toki called him too.  Walter got me extra meal/slaw I got rice broccoli beef.  Bonnie Judy gave us clearance green mini holiday cupcakes I'll bring back tomorrow for Toki.  

3 pm 24 hour 20 min soak and new massage shower heads.  I didn't know how painful my feet were my back hurt so much.  and I can do Wheel here.  

suddenly remembered St J Lita lunch

lovely relaxed using 24 internet and endless hot water shower.  

Toki left me 2 $25 See's gift card and lovely Valentine's card late last night from her cousin in Soquel I found this morning.  she asked where I went.    

parked second spot lady left crowded lot as I drove in 1:07.  Jane yelled at me for calling Lita Lisa.  eh.  Ed won the first Bingo I won the last black out.  I sat on my purple pillow.  

then central feet up relaxing.  at 5 central closed I went to Sunny and waited to finish Harry Potter puzzle 2 pcs missing.  from there I bought 2 corn dogs and clearance black forest cake ring and $40 change.  

home I ate corn dogs and cooked half green beans and beef & potatoes.  and I ate Simpson doughnut yum.  

Happy Me! 2yrs later-paid phone 611-45/55

I wasn't living my best.  I fed birds, soaked stretched, talked to Dave.  

picked up lunch St Just a repaving shutdown next 2 weeks.  drinking guarana not hungry.   

I decided to pick up "Last Holiday" Queen Latifah not Sir Alec at Cup.  I drove a new route Prune to Tan avoiding traffic.  coming back I drove Gro O side to Savers and lots of parking 10:30-11.  I walked Gro then Savers 50% new arm phone case and huge 50/50 cotton/poly new scarf $3.80.  back at Gro I bought lunch for today, tomorrow and Monday Pres holiday.  Chef Ramsay 10 oz steak ale pie $3.99 and 20 oz beef potatoes $4.99 and $1.29 green beans.  

Central relaxing I forgot my glasses in my car.  ate apple sauce.  4 pm I decided to go to Sunny open 'til 6.  I puzzled Harry Potter 'til close then I walked Sprouts.  everything is still frozen.  I cooked steak pie, and the heated peas were so delicious.  

got petrol before rain-Sunny 47/55

looks like rain.  threatening clouds.  I found the bread for the birds.  Yay! Me!

lunch I got extra real fruit and cake.  I don't remember what else we ate.  

reading "Born Lucky" makes me laugh.  his supportive dad let him feel sorry for himself.  my mom threatened to kill me and terrorized me from infancy.  I was too busy surviving to ever feel sorry for myself.  

I printed Sunny lunch info for Trudy and Little Lisa Big Walter's mom.  so I got to library late and puzzled 'til 4.  

I forgot county.

Mallory puzzle 'gnomes' homes' terrific

I love the strange shapes and bright colors.  feels expensive only $25.  Jim puzzler vetted by Dino.  

lunch good Fred, Toki practically early, Walter late.  caffeine high.  he thought it hilarious I spilled broccoli slaw on myself.  

I want Cali XL for dinner.  last night I had 4 Jack Box tacos.  

Cali XL!  then drove home XPWY.

Mr Kohlwaies 11:40 minutes-49/55

now in Colo Springs from Vegas.  reassured me 10 years of experience adjusting.  if I receive any legal papers from the court CSAA provides an attorney, 30 days to respond to the court.  

filing a court case extends the statute of limitations due to expire in 3 days to infinity.  

I'm getting the stabbing pain back left middle ribs like the accident.  if I support my lower back it eases.  

I feel like I'm really living.  

Sunny 52/55-Stephen Kohlwaies 8:07 am v mail-Karen Kuek

doing what I want.   

I'm waiting on my income tax filing.  2:45 I decided to check my papers in my car trunk.  and found v mail on my phone.  Karen Kuek trying for money again this year.  

BONUS Tina Turner article in magazine I've had, no info in table or cover.

at least I have company.  I'm #21 for taxes.  done 6 pm I puzzled half an hour with David and Sammy, he hasn't shared puzzles I gave him.  good to know.  

I'm getting back $28 from feds, paid $446 last year.  

according to Carl's Jr Hangover Monday-Toki b'day Sunny 56/55

beautiful man in the pool.  model pretty.  

brisk windy sneezy day.  lunch Fred, Toki, Walter.  I gave her card and $40 and oranges Fred took 2.  Inge has recycle.  Danny's $3.02.  then central I gave Sammi both poodle puzzles and large piece 36 child.  

home 6 I forgot the front door mess fell over this morning.  took awhile to clear a path to TV.  I ate Hawaiian chicken lunch extra.  so so.  mac nuts and chips.  

I'm at Sunny 60/55 Super Sunday-paid PGE

I'm so excited.  I'm doing new behavior.  I totally avoided a disaster when my lotion bottle squeezed open in my chrome bag.  I was looking to charge my phone.  I cleaned it up expeditiously.

I watched romances 'til 2, dressed and used Nob wi-fi to check the Container store open.  took Lawrence 60 mph to Prunridge remembered PGE due 10 days detoured to Walmart SJ then continued to Santana Row impossible crowds traffic I pivoted to Savers to walk store found new bamboo skewers $1.50.  Grocery outlet tomatoes $.99 lb, frozen last beef rice $4.99, Chef Ramsey beef ale pie $3.99, peas $1.29 lb.  

driving Lawrence home I considered and discarded Nob for wifi to Blog. totally new ME decided to pick up "UP" hold and enter my sweeps.  

OK Sunny 62/55

ate too many p chips last night ache and nausea from cold.  YAY! no inflammation.  

soaked and stretched 8 am.  7:49 arrival time for car tidy.  my family hated me rather than arrange their own lives to their liking.  I still don't understand their lack of intelligence.  proof of God I suppose.  no one asked Hawking how the impossibly dumb survive.  must be GOD.  

b'fast at 5-Sunny 66/55-SzuSzu

I finished sewing down the lining in Valerie denim.  It's a great feeling well and wanting to do things.   

yesterday I looked at library bookstore cards and found 2 packs of red envelopes.  cards are 4/$1 so I had to pick 2 more.  

gave Fred 6 red envelopes.  he gave me half his beef patty.  Walter is waking up.  he's more thoughtful about creating his best life.  

I rested at central.  puzzled and read.  Sami and his niece and new Szu-Szu.  

only a week sans hot spot 68/55

good thing I check.  the charging electricity is off on first computer upstairs.  

a dummy asked if I were moving out with my gym bag.  I told him it wasn't funny 10 years ago when I started using it to save my back and now lots of people have smartened up.  not him.  

I'm feeling feisty.  lunch with Fred and Walter.  Fred wants 3 new years red envelopes I got from Cody bookmobile after he left.  then I remembered silver dimes and red envelopes.  The library bookstore had 2 packets of fun red envelopes 4/$1 cards I picked 2 more.  

singularity is nearer try googling LOL.  the beliefs of so called self professed genii make me laugh.  Hawking believed our only hope for existence is planetary colonization when we can't even effectively take care of this one.  HA HA!!  he doesn't believe in God.  

nambe #6227-2001 "rare find $39.95"

woke late-Sunny 69/55-mailed life ins-Carlos oil change $97

b'fast spicy beef rice spinach salad.  

I decided I'd just shower and stretch no pool today.  I'm resting.  I considered Savers maybe tomorrow.  or Super bowl Sunday.  

lunch everyone there.  Fred, Toke and quiet Walter on his phone had an epiphany when his lithium battery fit 2 of his tools.  it's all attraction and magnetism.  

I got extra pork gravy lunch.  the girl scout tiny delicious cupcakes.  I may keep them.  

Dr Carlos engine light-free Carl's b'fast burger 2/9-Sunny 72/55-paid Disc phone

I let Walter irritate me and didn't warm up the car.  Paula to the rescue w/cake and snow balls.  

Super Bowl Monday free hangover b'fast burger.  must join the app.  do I want to join?

I love playing mahjongg.  

Inge gave me ding dongs the witch is dead.  lunch was nice Fred, Toke, Walter.  he's getting serious about changing his life.  me too.  more spinach salad from yesterday.  

I drove past St Just on to Savers for 3 hours.  30% off senior day I bought Nambe salt pepper $5, 2 small cooking tongs $4 all for $7.  then I walked Grocery Outlet Chef Ramsay meat pie $3.99 and frozen beef rice $4.99.  girl scout cookies 2/99 cents.  I ate lentils and baked potato.  substantial meal.

Paid Bartolo-Sunny 76/55-Walter check engine-Citibank credit-0-due 2/10

finished seniors puzzle an hour 350 pieces.  and on to exercise.  that man started old fishing lodge puzzle missing and extra pieces.  he puzzles weirdly stacking pieces.

lunch was only Walter.  Fred stopped to say he was lunching with Debi.  I got extra spinach lentil Baked potato.  oh and 2 extra pieces of Inge cake.  

I forgot my sweeps.  I puzzled at central and almost ran down chrome battery.  6%.  I'm reading 'Born Lucky' while charging.

city paid due 2/13-Sunny 82/55

yesterday I forgot wheel.  

I'm wearing Valerie dress I look so good.  seniors I puzzled and showered stretched.  I'm getting a lot of walking from Walter.

St just Charity lunch & weekend 2 donuts strawberry icing and custard.  doritos and I brought Sprouts chips.  2 'ham cheese'.  2 mini apple 'pies'.  

I went to my car for fleece hoodie, bass shirt is too heavy.  The library feels cold means my inflammation is less. 

no hot spot-86/55

and I'm OK.  I thrive.  arrived 7:49 if i wait 'til 8 people are leaving.  all in the timing.  Walter Lisa's son parked next to me we chatted about she only comes for bingo Fridays and Sunnyvale is 3/4 Asian and the food is 10 X fresher.  I talked to him about senior depression getting old losing abilities.  he appreciates me.  at lunch she invited me to St Justin senior lunch/bingo Feb 15.  

Fred, Toke,Walter weird wouldn't eat but took extra salad home.  motivated me to go to Cup via central.  I focused on best parking and got it.  somehow 'Born Lucky' auto renewed despite hold.  I returned and borrowed 2 Aladdin live and anime.  

feeling well I drove to India Cash & Carry loud, crowded, dirty, expensive.  Han Kook Korean clean, bright, serene, expensive.  I proceeded to Nob Hill using wi-fi to check Safeway no and decided on 2 macadamia and cottage cheese.  home I napped after all the walking and trying Sprouts chips.  

found Sunny way in back of trunk. 89/55 hot spot return

probably where PERS DD papers are.  looking for county book 'expectations'.  

Inge's b'day Sumi gave her gold? earrings and Lynn a Whole Foods caramel chocolate cake.  yum.

good soak swim Cody new bookmarks last unicorn, translucent rose fire sword and book dragon.

lunch OK Walter and Toke so late.  

I considered home but drove straight to Sunny 5.9 miles.  I walked Sprouts 5 clearance pineapple chomps all they had $10, 2 big bags $.99 chips.  walked Ross.  

Sunny I returned spot and requested again.  dinner I wanted Cali burger detoured to 24 Safeway for 3 corn dogs 2 clearance 'wicked' chocolates $7.37.  for Inge and Toke b'day.  home 5 pm.  

I did a lot yesterday I'm OK-Benna Savers v mail found my key-green tags 50% off

I heated rice, peas meatloaf.  I'm blessed.  eating triggers my back.  huh.

I was feeling a little off balanced, I'm feeling grounded.  I'm remembering Joe Special.  hamburger onions spinach eggs.  so good.  

I'm reading Louise while listening to you tube.  so many good books.  she works with great writers.  

6:10 and I'm ready.  a little gentle exercise.  

lunch with Trudy Kenny, Fred, Toke, Walter extra potatoes mixed veg.  

feeling calmly excited-orange tags 50% off

seniors was good Fred, Walter.  I soaked and stretched 8 am.  I finished puzzle started new.  lunch tasty sesame fish extra rice.  I went library an hour.  then Savers I dropped the car key green stretchy.  oh, well I walked entire store twice.  I have other keys.  I left my name and phone number.  

I walked Grocery Outlet for Inge looking 87 years frail.  

home 3:30 I called Anthony 3:55 pm re dump trash in 3 bins.  I took out recycle and put 2 bins under cover.  third bin under tree too heavy I put umbrella to cover.  recycle pick up Thursday said no wood.  I called Anthony again 4:14.  he called back 4:34 pm saying they'd handle.  I suggested tomorrow getting dark.  he promised clean up before leaving on vacation.  front stabilizing 2X4 unpainted.  needs painting.  

using magnet I picked up over a dozen driveway nails.  

Let go Let God-Anthony 9:30 arrival

$2543.75 total dad rebuild.  took a lot longer.  'til 5 pm.  OK job.  Discover denied security reason so I called to verify Jennifer said resubmit fine.  

came home 12:30 guys still working I went to library returned chrome no longer holds.  puzzled 'til 3:30 still painting.  raley's meatloaf $5 and eggs $2.50, hazelnuts $4.49, peas $1.79 I used $5 coupon.  

Dr Wehle didn't follow through on insurance so no $535 cleaning visit.  time for new dentist.

I want truly helpful people.  no ambush or sabotage.  

fear of the unknown today-Anthony Dela Cruz 909-313-6422/650-477-3562

in the pit of my stomach, shoulders and chest.  I was never allowed to feel anything.  family judged and criticized me, adding to my discomfort and pain.  I don't know what love and support feels like.  I'm feeling afraid of new feelings.  new feelings create new experiences.  

somehow the format changed and chrome took over.  I'm sitting with my feelings.  

I looked up Rhonda Richards CPA helped me in 2002 for tax year 2001 when Aiko ambushed me with estate taxes to cover her embezzling.  I'm looking through the return.  I'm assembling this year's return.

Rhonda took excellent care of me drafting the letters and printing forms so all I had to do was sign forms and checks, mail envelopes.  I was barely alive.  I felt I was dying.  at that point sitting in a chair was causing my spine to compress literally killing me.  

I folded laundry trying on 2 dresses.  perfect.  the 4 pocket zip hoodie had a hole I wove.  

I put out the garbage bin.  I'm inspired.  trunk organizing.  

Anthony and Damien Campos 3:30 pm $175 cleaning.  Damien does some repairs.  tomorrow 'day' off estimate $2 K on dad's front hang.  parts and materials.  for fixing 3 bracket repair flashing fix $350= 3.5% $543.38 total today.  I gave them bottled water.  

pocket full of miracles

I fell asleep after a repeat celebrity wheel 8-9 pm.  I woke at 3 and song was playing in my head.  contradicting Walter's gloom and doom.  and I hadn't connected charger to chrome or hot spot.  

4:30-8:30 slept and woke up pondering whether to go to seniors or St Just.  the pro was I've been finding goodies and need for water massage exercise.  so I went and found over 45 NEW pcs earrings, pendants, rings, necklaces, and a bracelet of pearls semiprecious gold over silver in little plastic bags.  WOW!  I thought of Sunshine.

St Just at 10:30 short line and Sandy weekend bag.  puzzle 

Anthony Dela Cruz /Bayline Solutions Inc estimate gutter clean $175+ 3% $5.75 for Discover.  tomorrow Sunday 1/25 2-3 pm.  I asked about carpentry repair dad's add on.  

chrome due today

what to do?  I can act average keeping it or return it.  

having done laundry I'm feeling bold.  my back is a little sore.  and I love, love, love clean clothes.  probably a function of autism fresh clean clothes feel good.  so much of life feels uncomfortable.  I was worried about weakening as long as I pace myself I'm OK.  

foggy 100% humid.  

lemon laundry closed 7:37 am

 so I came to seniors and collected clothes ready to wash.  soaked and stretched.  another paper bag of juice pouches, jellos, with mayo and mustard packs I separated.  yum.  Cody bookmobile new book marks.  I gave only unicorn to munchkin Darth Vader.

lunch went well Walter and Toke extra rice veg.  I washed @ lemon used b room walked mall 28 minutes double load.  old St Just clothes OK.  

J Box 4 tacos and home 2 pm.  I took my time ate tacos, hung laundry inside 3:30.  socks garage stuff later, rest now.  slept 3:30-6.  veg rice dinner watched my shows bed 10 pm.  

two good days

better.  lunch with Gloria, Trudy/cake, Kenny, Fred, Toke, Walter.  extra salad.

bought 2 Carl's, happy happy.  

I love the new me-paid Allstate home disc

I'm watching my copy of 'Goonies'.  one of my new 40 movies from library book sale.  the Sunny copy won't play 'err' needs cleaning.  

good day seniors.  Fred and Walter no fish Toki.  I dropped off menus and oranges.  she's my lunch prayer partner.  

home 2 pm back to bed.  game on!  chain reaction and common knowledge.  

I looked online for KFC deals.  regular bowls for $5 interesting like dessert 570 cal.  or Carl's or B King.  

Louise and Big Bang

I feel great.  it's been a awhile.  

I'm using food I bought for hard times.  I spent so much time unable to manage I bought shelf stable on sale.  

11 am watching my game shows.  

it's hard loving yourself when you have no experience with love.  when no one loved you growing up learning to love yourself is difficult with so many trying to use and abuse you like your family.  

I wonder if Parkinson is linked to not moving uptight nervous types.  based on the people I know with Parkinson.  

rocking my pelvis

my left hip still weak.  strong hips not core is most important.  exercising my hips affects my entire left leg.  I can feel the back of my knee.  I'm rebuilding my body.  

I ate the last of whole wheat penne and chicken by adding fresh diced tomatoes and salted almonds.  senior lunch blandness is a miracle.  so tasteless.

so lovely feeling bored.  no crises, demands, just blessed peace.  and tomorrow holiday.  

I decided no Sunny book sale today.  back sore from exercise.  

perfect day-Brian J to Shasta.

taking my time.  waiting for sunshine.  so cold.  seniors 10 minute wait I'm still looking for 'Lucky" book.  not in car or trunk.  kept looking found fruit.  soaked and stretched.  silly Brian elated he's moving to Shasta had 2 big canvas bags of books for Sariah and friend tending snack bar acting like a big pervy puppy so I stepped in to let them know he's silly and harmless.  he hugged me.  

St just lunch Gloria playing avoiding.  library book sale I looked for 'Igor" and Tina Turner.  so many comedy movies I bought 40/$5.  

home 1:30 to look for 'lucky' book.  not in car or trunk.  looking through book bags.  lots of exercise.  found it in book bag in bed.  4:30 exhausted rested in bed.  up at 7:00 to watch 'last holiday'.  

double Louise Hay-Scarlett O'hara wearing curtain day

chrome and TV.  sleeping to both is the best.  I'm playing affirmations on both.  the experience recalls my discordant distracting family.  I'm turning lead to gold.  alchemy.  

44 to 43 degrees 7 am.  I'm waiting for the world to wake and warm up.  7:20 sunrise 5:15 sunset.  

rocking my pelvis I can feel the weakness in my left hip as twinges.  driving using only my right leg throws off my muscle balance.  

I'm looking forward to trying on my new clothes.  and I want black forest pudding ring sale today 2/$5.  and maybe Sunny movie pick up.  

walked Sprouts none, Sunny library pick up book and "Goonies".  on to Safeway no corn dogs inari sushi, frozen 4 pork egg rolls, BBQ pork rice, and $2.50 pudding ring.  

I met Vimila Rodgers 50 years ago when she was a graphologist.  mentioned on "Focus on yourself and stop wasting time"-Louise Hay

so cold 41 degrees-laundry lemon 9898#

I like eating my PB strawberry preserves sandwich in bed.  if I hadn't been ill I never would know the luxury.  

I want nicotine lozenge.  

having the flu cleared my lungs.  I had nicotine second hand before I was born.  

Sunrise 7:21.  I googled it.  I can choose to wait for the sun.  7 am 39 degrees!!  colder!!  slower.  

I enjoyed Fred's dim sum was postponed he had salad meatballs were good.  Toke enjoyed our company.  Walter was tired, did a lot yesterday egg hunting. 

I headed to Savers and St Just a bag of 2 jeans, PJ bottoms, 

laundry lemon 9898# bathroom code.  single load $3.25 Maytag.  wifi, dry clean, water, wash & fold.  home 2 pm 40 minutes to hang.  

dinner red potatoes, meatball, penne.  bed 10 pm.

new me 38 degrees

I no longer need to suffer.  mom needed pain to feel alive.  i can live in comfort.  I wait 'til it's warmer. 

mmm, fish b'fast.  

I can go to Sunny to sew.  

sugar is the easiest cheapest drug.  

lunch of Fred, Toke, Walter left early.  I puzzled and went to central to puzzle more.  exercise.  home 5:30.  

played mahjongg 'til 2:30 am.

St j-new behavior-paid water,disc

laundry this week not today.  maybe Sat.  I keep forgetting one thing at a time.  to be caring, careful.  

I walked home Safeway.  good walk.  9:37 waiting to open.  picked up lunch St Just.  10:15 seniors parked on street didn't wait.  fish and red potatoes extra fish, broccoli.  

Walter named Nicole? Sneezy for sniffling sneezing yesterday on afternoon puzzle table.  He left for his walk  stayed to puzzle and remembered to pay due bills.  city kicked me out of page error message I called J T checked payment received and gave me confirmation

Happy Tuesday!

paid phone 611-disc

always changing.  chrome pages are different maybe the cause of freeze.  still Walter's nonsense last week an influence.  I try to impress the importance of programming.  he doesn't accept it yet.  he had a positive change in an instant stress free lease renewal.  not sinking in.  

new google format crap.  pages are different maybe cause of freeze.  not working well.  I look for my good.  

Frozen Chrome since yesterday-AND I'M BACK

I waited 'til the zero battery shut off.  an hour and half to charge.  I regained my tabs, dark setting default.  I considered and discounted returning to the main library.    

Patricia Delicious Nutrition- banana + melted 80% chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, wand blended, chilled.  you tube Louise Hay.  

I watched Rough Magic 1995 Mexican magic.  I want a copy.  

finished the pudding ring

so I have the sniffles.  worth it.  ate senior lunch "enchilada".

I'm binge watching Elsbeth 2.  I have terrific movies from yesterday.

lunch I cooked spaghetti 10 min high micro and chili.  

magnetic unified field-*67 blocks ID

I have a clearer vision.  better understanding.  it was a feeling, affinity, intuition.  Walter is the only person I know who may understand or be interested.  he may be able to expand my explanation.  

coherent electrons are electricity.  extend the line of electrons into a magnetic field.  spin it into gravity=attraction.  I diagrammed it out for him.  he said I "should" have been his teacher when he was little.  I told him stop "should"-ing on me and what makes him think he's grown up not letting him answer.  he gave me his extra lunch with mine I'm set this weekend.  

I returned over dues at central 123/37 hot spot.  6 holds.  redeemed $2 coupon for "Goonies" movie.  feeling eh, CUP returns 12 holds.  focused on perfect parking got it.  then my back started screaming at me.  resting in the car I decided I wanted 4 Jack Box tacos.  so good.  

Gin @ 24 hour

b'fast salad my teriyaki and tuna.  very satisfying.  

7 shower and set my intention.  Gin gave me another doll crochet scrubber.  I thought about Sunny $ tree but too rushed.  my $1.75 glasses better than $300 Dr Mark.

8:30 I'm hungry waiting in my car at Sunny lunch.  25 folk already in line and more coming.  cod, couscous, green beans, cauliflower carrots, cantaloupe.  

9:30 signed in when 2 people left, lady fainted.  Debbie MGR came to check me in.  so kind and efficient.  it's so NOISY AND LIVELY.  people are bossy in a nice way.  I love it so much.  if not for Toke I'd come here.  Fred has Deb and Walter is too smart to fail.  lots of people come here for their vitamin Human.  cod so good.  

$v dollar tree fish oil, hairbands, 4 reading glasses better than $300 glasses, vita C drops.  CVS 4 almond protein shakes $15 free OTC.  

home back screaming too tired.  central tomorrow then county.

note to myself-Rough Magic Sun 1/11-10 am 2.3

HOT SPOT CUT OUT CITY-Sunny 3 weeks

TV CHANGED PROGRAMS AND I'M STUCK IN CAPS.  using 24 hour I saw Bryan.  hello.    

8:50 waiting in car Sunny 9 am lunch.  Teresa (husband Bob, autistic son Dylan), friend Keith dancer singer, Ernie Afro talker.  Anne from SC senior too.  Herman & Yanti.  Armando gave me milk I passed to 7 dwarves and 2 oranges for Toke.  I was served 10:49 Jimmy and Armando and Debbie thanked me for my patience.  nothing like rude power game SC.  

made big salad w/prep teriyaki chick, prep celery, tomatoes.  

allergic? sneezing

maybe I'm reinfected from seniors.  I took my time 8 am r/t 7.  not frantic parking or freezing cold.  I showered, no swimming and gentle stretching.  still feeling weak.  

Sunny phone holds are ready but not on account so...  I can wait.  

I love not being ruled by the clock.  man invented the timepiece and became enslaved.  everything we "own" actually owns us.  subservient to a watch or car.  

lunch Trudy, Kenny, Walter, Toke late.  eh not good enough to wait.  tomorrow and Thursday off I called Toke and Walter.  

I just realized I went cold turkey no potato or corn chips for 2 months.  what's that about?

one pass scan Bryan @ 24-I paid Bartolo-17/59-18 held tomorrow-paid PGE

signed me into a new membership, typed everything.  very patient and personable.  WHEW!!

checked Chipotle opens 10:45.  Fred and Walter got me extra lunches.  so sweet.  Toke saved me comics and dollar tree closed.  it is good to be back.  my loving family.  

walked Walmart nothing I wanted.  Homestead Safeway used gift card for salad, tomatoes, prep celery, clearance black forest pudding ring.  free.  

I came home I checked Nob ad ate mediocre noodles and napped tuckered out.  4 pm I drove to J in Box for 4 tacos.  everything available 24 hours.  $1.49 deal online only.

bed and rest.  rainy windy. 

the Bride Test Helen Hoang-19/59

I finished reading after midnight.  eight years old I begged dimes and quarters to buy school program weekly readers.  and so began my Cinderella Complex of doing all the domestic chores in exchange.  my sisters were given money I always had to laboriously earn.  I loved staying up to finish reading.  I gave myself eye strain and a headache I stayed home from school.  

I looked up low blood pressure and sugar.  too much bed rest.  2007 I'd have to stop and rest.  slowly I rebuilt my stamina.  vagus nerve.

space between my shoulder blades up through my skull tight and sore.  vagus nerve tightening and relaxing.  rocking my pelvis.  bed exercises.  

food log-1)pea soup cheese, 2)noodles cream chicken.  too much salt I rinsed and drained 3X.  I needed salt.  a month w/o too low.  feeling stronger.

Maid in Manhattan "you don't know what you can do until you have to."

Maria Twitty Henderson Nevada, Las Vegas.  called from new number I called back 22 min catch up.  Master Mind prayer group.  

not hungry-20/59

my stomach sore I need oatmeal.  and vienna sausage for protein.  

I'm watching movies I've never seen.  I'm resting, healing.  I've been pushing, forcing myself to function.  it feels strange to rest and allow myself to heal.  I expect attack, ambush from the family.  

6:30 pm hungry I eat beets.  

Heal Your 7 Chakras While You Sleep-23/59

living here with the parents all their fear infected me.  I've been pushing myself barely functioning for 35 years taking care of them.  

Heal Your 7 Chakras While You Sleep-Louise Hay 2:15:20 best Rx.  I gave myself hiccups.  

probably shouldn't have soda /caffeine.  so tasty though.  spaghetti-o s not the best b'fast.  instant oatmeal dessert too much sugar.  oh, well.  my blood sugar is resetting again.  

1:30 Carl's 2 Cali onions on the side.  passed on 24 hour register today.  home 2 pm.  taking care of me.  

I figured it out-SUCCESS

viewing is by year.  I have to click on year to view blog entries.  I'm researching dental plans.  so many.  praying for universal health care but for medical greed.

I remembered where I left my wallet yesterday so weak.