still patelco. i don't know.
i'm feeling so depressed. nothing has changed and yet i feel so immensely sad. i just realized how i feel has nothing to do with today. it's old sadness. it's beatings i never deserved. my shoulders and back have immense pain locked in the tissues. i just want to die. i've suffered too much pain. the beatings locked into my body. i feel sick.
everything hurts. from 2 yr old pushed out the window onto the porch on my back. kind of a miracle i survived my childhood or did i. sister aiko claiming i fell. i always gave her a pass knowing mom abused her. i saw mom beating her often.
i feel like sobbing. i haven't felt this depressed for a long time. maybe because it's mitzi's b month. maybe just part of healing the tragedy that is my life at this point.
i called bart per note he left with tokes croissants on porch. he didn't remember note.
No comments:
Post a Comment