crash

don't know why.  lost all my settings.  i'm getting faster at recovering settings.  

woke 3;30 feeling ok compared to previous.  won't attempt physical strain without brace again.  felt so bad.  i don't know how i survived 21 years.  i couldn't feel the damage i was doing.  

i'm so blessed.  i have food at my fingertips.  still mobile.  i'm just not used to doing one thing at a time.  i enjoyed seeing how much i could pack into one day.  total ego.

i used to love driving.  so it's like i don't know who i am.  the hardest part of aging is the loss of functioning.

called Walter for his b'day 39 minute chat he was shopping cost co.  i explained his insomnia to him.  i've been through it fearing you'll never sleep again.  the trauma of parental care is recorded in the body so even the calendar becomes a trigger and it feels like the body is betraying when it's only reacting to genetic coding of survival of the species.  

glad to be of service.