addicts

WE ATTEMPT TO AVOID UNHAPPINESS.  WHEN WE START TO FEEL UNHAPPY WE REACH FOR OUR ADDICTION TO CHANGE OUR FEELING.  AN ATTEMPT TO USE POWER.

I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPY IN MY RELATIONSHIPS.  ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THAT IN COMMON.  UNHAPPY PEOPLE LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS.  HAPPINESS IS BEING.  FEELING.  AN INSIDE JOB.  I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFETIME FAILING TO MAKE UNHAPPY PEOPLE HAPPY.

PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY BELIEVING IT'S CARS OR JOBS OR SOMETHING OUTSIDE TO MAKE THEM HAPPY.  ABUSE IS JEALOUSY.  ABUSE ATTACKS HAPPINESS, INNOCENCE, PEACE.  'IF I CAN'T HAVE IT NEITHER CAN YOU.'  ABUSE IS A VIOLENT ATTEMPT TO CONTROL POWER.  DESTRUCTION.

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY THEY COULD NEVER DO WHAT I ASKED.  THEY COULDN'T LET ME BE HAPPY.  THEY SEE MY HAPPINESS AS TAKING AWAY FROM THEM.  LIKE THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND IT HAS TO BE RATIONED OUT.  LIKE LOVE.  WHEN IN FACT THE MORE THE MERRIER.

THE BEST WE CAN HOPE FOR IS FINDING HAPPY PEOPLE TO SHARE HAPPINESS WITH.

CARLOS TIGHTENED A VERY LOOSE AIR HOSE RESET THE LIGHT AND SAID IF IT DOESN'T COME ON TO CALL AND LET HIM KNOW.  NO CHARGE.  ANOTHER CHANCE FOR ME TO SAY GOODBYE TO ERIC.