A NEW HOPE

MY LIMITATIONS ARE MY THOUGHTS AND MY THOUGHTS CAN BE CHANGED.  LOUISE HAY.

7:30 PM.  I FINALLY GOT A LETTER FROM AUNTY.  IN MAY SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL 5 DAYS COLON CANCER.  I GUESS SHE'S TOO FRAGILE AT 90 FOR RADIATION OR CHEMO.

THIS A.M. I PUT OUT BINS AND WROTE  LIFE INSURANCE CHECK.  I HAD TO OPEN AND RESEAL WHEN I REMEMBERED I FORGOT TO WRITE DATE. 

CHECK ENGINE LIGHT CAME ON 38o.  MY CARS DON'T LIKE COLD.  8:45 I REMEMBERED I HAD CARLOS' #  IN MY PHONE AND CALLED.  RICH OF ROBERT HAS A DIAGNOSTIC AND SAID HIS LIGHT CAME ON/LEAK IN AIR SYSTEM AND WENT AWAY AFTER A WEEK.  I WENT AFTER LUNCH.  I TOOK CLEARANCE APPLE PIE, HE DIDN'T CHARGE ME.  A LEAK IN AIR SYSTEM.  I LOVE MY CAR. 

MINOR SETBACK

WORKING ON THE HOUSE DEPRESSES ME.  MY FAMILY TREATED ME AS THE MAID SO OF COURSE MY BODY REVERTS.  OUTSIDE PEOPLE LOVED, RESPECTED, INCLUDED ME.  AT SCHOOL AND WORK, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND.  OH. WELL GOD LOVES ME JUST THE WAY I AM.  GOD SHOWS ME THE WAY.

YESTERDAY I DID MY SUNNYVALE ROUTINE.  I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO BUY SUE AND HARRY FLASHLIGHTS AND THERE WEREN'T ANY.  THE ELECTRONIC SECTION WAS CLEARED OUT.  I'LL GIVE HER $5 BACK.  LIKE SHE DOESN'T KNOW THERE'S TAX.  I BOUGHT MORE ORANGE CRANBERRY MUFFINS, THE BEST.  XMAS WAS HALF OFF AT $UNNYVALE, 6 THINGS.  MARIA MICHAEL'S PURPLE HANKIES ARE $2.59, I BOUGHT THEM AT WESTGATE MICHAEL'S HALF OFF $1.29. 

I ATE LEFTOVERS AND A BURRITO AND SALAD/NUTS.  TYGJ.  GOD PUTS WONDERFUL THINGS IN MY PATH.  I ENJOYED THE COCA COLA I BOUGHT FOR $1.  I USUALLY DON'T LIKE SODA.  I DRANK BEETS.  PHYSICALLY I'M IMPROVING.  I WANT TO BE STRONG LIKE WONDER WOMAN.

VERY SWEET

YESTERDAY A MINI LEMON MERINGUE, CHOCOLATE CANDY, BITES.  I'VE NEVER EATEN SO MUCH SUGAR.  2018 THE YEAR OF SUGAR.  I'VE EATEN MORE THAN MY ENTIRE LIFE COMBINED.  MY JOINTS ARE SCREAMING.  I'M SO STIFF, SORE AND NORMAL.  THIS IS HOW THE WORLD FEELS.  BODY FULL OF TOXIC, POLLUTING SUGAR.

I DID TWO LOADS OF LAUNDRY.  YESTERDAY THE SHOWERS WERE BEING REPAIRED.  TODAY THEY HAVE HOT WATER.  SO I WASHED MY HAIR AND TOMORROW'S SATURDAY AND I CAN DO NOTHING IF I WANT.  MY BONES FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AFTER THE HOT TUB. 

1944 ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I WATCH IT IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH. 

I LOVE THE CLOSED CAPTIONING.  I DON'T MISS A WORD.  THE ACTING IS SO GOOD.  AND ON A BIG SCREEN I CAN SEE EVERY EXPRESSION.  IT MUST HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL IN THE THEATER LARGER THAN LIFE.  IT'S BETTER ON DVD.  I CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER.  ALL MY FAVORITE PARTS.

I'M  TAKING MY TIME AND HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME.  I HAD CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE AT SENIOR LUNCH.  AND COSTCO PUMPKIN PIE LATER.  I HAVE ALL THOSE HAM DINNER LEFTOVERS.  HURRAY!!  TYGJ.

I'M EXERCISING, MY NERVES ARE STILL COMING BACK TO LIFE.  THEY HURT BUT WITH EXERCISING AND STRETCHING IT'S MANAGEABLE. 

I WANT TO BE WONDER WOMAN STRONG.

CANTERVILLE GHOST DAY

I'M WATCHING TWO DVDS BACK TO BACK.  1985 RICHARD KILEY& 1996 PATRICK STEWART.  MY FAVORITE OCCUPATION.  I MADE A LUNCH OF SCALLOPED, AND SWEET POTATOES, GREEN BEAN CASSEROLES,  HAM THAT TOOK AN HOUR TO CARVE AND PUT IN 7 QUART ZIPLOC BAGS.  I ADDED PINE NUTS.  YUM.

DINNER CHICKEN SOUP W/ BROWN/WILD RICE.  I ADDED YAMS, HAM, PINE NUTS.  PUMPKIN PIE I ADDED PECANS.  SO GOOD.

IT'S A PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL DAY.  FOOD, THE SENIORS' FAVORITE HOBBY.

CHRISTMAS EVE

I'M EXCITED FOR THE FIRST TIME.  AS AN ADULT I CAN MAKE AND HAVE A HAPPY, PEACE FILLED CHRISTMAS.  I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED.

I WRAPPED PRESENTS FOR MY SENIORS.

$TORE LIGHTS, NOTEPAD/PENS, BROWNIE PANS, A/D LOTION.  SOMETHING FOR MY TRUE FAMILY.  PEOPLE ON THE SAME PATH OF A SELF REALIZED LIFE.  IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR A HAPPY, HEALTHY LIFE.

THIS MORNING I DID MY REGULAR ROUTINE OF EXERCISE, SHOPPING, PICKED UP MY HAM DINNER 5 X POINTS.  LOADED BINS, PUT THEM OUT.

HAD BURRITO AND FROZEN TURKEY DINNERS.  I BOUGHT CHERRY TARTS, DUTCH APPLE, PUMPKIN PIES.  I'M SET FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.

I GIVE MYSELF A VACATION FROM MY USUAL LIFE.

MONDAY I FELL ASLEEP 9:30-1130.  DREAM OF FRITZ/BUGS DEATH. 

I FINALLY SLEPT 2-8. 12:30 PM-HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.  AT SENIORS I GAVE AWAY PIE, PRESENTS, ROLLS.  LUNCH I ATE 3 PORK CHOPS.  DINNER OF VEGETABLES.  GREEN BEAN, SWEET POTATO, AU GRATIN CASSEROLES, YUMMY. 

ABUNDANCE.  MY FAVORITE DANCE.

GUTENBERG.ORG

I READ THE CANTERVILLE GHOST ON THE CHROME ONLINE LAST NIGHT.  HOW GREAT THAT IS!

AND I CAN READ ALL WODEHOUSE ONLINE.  TYGJ.  THANK YOU BEN FRANKLIN.  THANK YOU GUTENBERG.

I LISTEN TO LOUISE HAY ONLINE MORNING AND EVENING.  TYGJ.  THANK YOU LOUISE.

FIRST DAY OF WINTER

IT FEELS MORE LIKE SPRING.  SUNNY AND 65 o.

I'M WATCHING THE 1957 BLONDIE TV SERIES.  I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE BEST XMAS EVER.  I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED FOR A PERFECTLY HAPPY XMAS. 

I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE SENIOR CENTER 10 YEARS NOW.  I LOOK FORWARD TO CHANGE.

I'M FEELING FULL OF HOPE FOR A BETTER TODAY.

LUCY & ETHEL

ZASU AND THELMA WERE THE ORIGINALS.  SO SILLY.   1931.  NOW I KNOW WHY I DIDN'T CARE FOR LUCY & ETHEL.  A POOR IMITATION.

ZASU WAS THE INSPIRATION FOR OLIVE OYL.

A PLEASANT INTERLUDE FOR A CAREWORN WORLD AFTER THE FIRST WAR. 

THELMA TODD & ZASU PITTS

COMEDY IN 1931 SHOWS HOW PEOPLE LIVED.  I BORROWED THE DVD FROM THE LIBRARY.

I HAVE THE NEXT THREE WEEKS NO SWIMMING SO I'M TAKING THE TIME TO DO WHAT I FEEL LIKE DOING.

MORE COMEDY.

TINNITUS

IT MUST BE TRIGGERED BY NOISE AND NOT JUST FATIGUE.  WHEN SENIORS IS TOO NOISY MY T IS WORSE.  TODAY I DID A LOT MORE AND I'M FINE. 

YESTERDAY MY T WAS SO BAD I THOUGHT THE WATER WAS RUNNING.

TGIF

THE SHOWERS WERE COLD AND THE DRAINS WERE BLOCKED.  YUCK.  I STILL EXERCISED AND STRETCHED.  I PUZZLED AND DID MY JOB.  TODAY I START MY THREE WEEKS AT 24 HOUR.

I'M GOING TO WEAR MY SWEATS.  COMFORT FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS.

I CONTINUE TO SELF CORRECT.

SO MUCH BETTER

SO FAR SO GOOD.  I'M SELF CORRECTING.  I'M ABLE TO EXPRESS MY ANGER (DISPLEASURE?)(DISGUST?).  AND I'M OK.  FIRST WITH WELSUN.  THE PUZZLE WAS ESPECIALLY CHALLENGING BEING ALL BLUE MT EVEREST.  THE HARDEST PART WAS REORGANIZING PIECES EVERY DAY.  I PUT TOGETHER SECTIONS AND I'D COME BACK AND THEY'D BE STUFFED INTO A WRONG SECTION.  I HAD TO CONSTANTLY CHECK AND REMOVE PIECES AND SECTIONS.  THE LAST TWO HUNDRED PIECES I HAD ALL ORGANIZED AND HE TOOK PIECES AND SCATTERED THEM.  THREE TIMES I EXPLAINED HE NEEDED TO PUT THEM BACK WHERE HE TOOK THEM FROM.  HE JUST LAUGHED AND SCATTERED THEM.  I MIXED THEM UP AND SAID HE COULD HAVE THEM JUST THE WAY HE WANTED AND WALKED AWAY.  HE GAVE UP.  WITHOUT AN ORGANIZED METHOD IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.  THE BULLDOG CAME AND SAT DOWN WHILE I WAS TALKING TO MAY AT THE TABLE WHILE I WAS PUZZLING.  BULLDOG WAS THE FEMALE VERSION SO I DID THE SAME.  I RELATED THE EXPERIENCE TO MAY AND BULLDOG INTERJECTS WITH THE EXCUSE PEOPLE THINK DIFFERENT.  LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW.  I SAID OH, ANOTHER ONE AND MIXED THEM AND WALKED AWAY.  SHE LASTED 15 MINUTES BY HERSELF.  THEY'RE SO STUBBORN.  A METHOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THINKING.  SUCCESS IS SIMPLE.

IF PEOPLE FOLLOWED RULES WE WOULDN'T NEED LAWS.

I'M STAYING WITH THE DETOX.  I MISPLACED AND FOUND THE TARGET BILL.  BIG WIN.  WOO HOO!

PARAKEETS & CHICKENS

10-12 AM LUCID DREAM OF MOM IN HEAVEN.  I HAVE 6 BABY PARAKEETS IN A CAGE AND MOM STUFFS HER TWO CHICKENS (STEPSISTERS) INTO MY CAGE AND IT'S MY JOB AGAIN TO GET THEM OUT.  I DON'T HAVE THAT JOB NOW.  NOT MY JOB.  IT'S THEIRS NOW AND FOREVER.

SINCE I WAS 8 IT BECAME MY JOB TO CARE FOR THE FAMILY.  60 YEARS OF UNKNOWN SERVITUDE.

INGE GAVE ME $1 SCARF AND CANDLE FOR BEING BORN. 

better & better

I'M OK. 

HB TO ME?

I WAS AFRAID I WAS LOSING MY GRIP UNTIL I REALIZED THE RIPPLE EFFECT OF NEW THINKING.  NEW THINKING IS A REBOOT.  NEW BRAIN PATHWAYS.

LEAVING THE OLD, RELEASING THE PAST.  TO GET TO THE BETTER REQUIRES LOSING THE WORST.  AH, THAT'S WHY PEOPLE RESIST CHANGE.  THE LOSS OF THE OLD NO MATTER HOW STINKY IS LOSS THAT THEY WON'T GIVE UP.

SO I'M A LITTLE MORE CONFIDENT IN THIS NEW TERRITORY OF CHANGE.

8:30 PM-SO I DID WHAT I WANTED.  LUNCH WAS GOOD.  I CONSIDERED BIRTHDAY FREEBIES AT ROUND TABLE AND DENNY'S.  NAH.  PICKED UP/DROPPED OFF AT CAMPBELL LIBRARY.   

I WENT TO ST J.  I FOUND A LONG SWEATER VEST, PARE AU WITH PARROTS, BOOK MARK AND HEART ANGEL PIN, TIN OIL SPLATTER GUARD. 

PICKED UP/DROPPED OFF AT CENTRAL AND CAME HOME.  I NOTICED THE FRONT DOOR LOOKED MESSED WITH.  ATE, REPAIRED SHOPPING BAGS AND SAT DOWN TO WATCH TV.   COULDN'T FIND THE REMOTE.  GAS LIGHTING FROM THE SISSES MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT.  KNOWING HOW THEY THINK I LOOKED EVERYWHERE AND FOUND IT IN THE CUSHIONS OF THE CHAIR. 

can it get better?

I WENT TO CHASE AFTER SRS BRIMMING WITH ENERGY AT 12:30. DECIDED TO GO BACK AND DEPOSIT AT MCU AND REMEMBERED I COULD RETURN CHROME TO MISLIB.  THEY HAVE 5 NEW CHROME.  RECHECKED OUT.

1:30 DROVE TOWARDS CARE MORE WENT TO SPROUTS ZERO.  ARRIVED EARLY, READ NEWSPAPER, RELAXED.  SO, GOOD NUMBERS SAME LAST 14 YEARS.

$CAMPBELL 3 PURPLE V TEES 3X.

UNCONSCIOUS INJURIES

AS MY BODY STRENGTHENS I'M PUSHING MY BODY TO MOVE DIFFERENTLY.  LIKE ONE HANDING THE LAP TOP.  OH, SILLY GIRL.  MY NECK AND ARM ARE SORE FROM IT.

PERFECT HEALTH IS A CHOICE.  STAYING CONSCIOUS TO HOW WE MOVE, REST, WHAT WE LISTEN TO, CHOOSE TO WATCH, EAT; THE TOTALITY OF LIVING.

LOSING THE GYM SUITCASE WAS MY BODY'S ATTEMPT TO WAKE ME.  I LEARN FROM EVERY MISTAKE.  WE ONLY LEARN FROM MISTAKES.  EVERY MISTAKE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN.  I DO LOVE LEARNING SO I WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE MISTAKES.  I FORGIVE MYSELF.

TYGJ.

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

I CAN WHOLE HEARTILY ACCEPT MY CAR.  THE IMPERFECTION IS THE MISSING GASKET AT THE BOTTOM OF THE REAR WINDOW.  THE INTERIOR WAS DAMP FROM THE BUILDUP OF LEAVES CHANNELING MOISTURE INTO THE CAB.  WHEN I REMOVED THE LEAVES FROM THE TRUNK CHANNEL IT DRIED OUT.

I WENT TO G2, WALKED THE STORE, $V MOUTHWASH, I WAITED FOR NEWSPAPER DELIVERY AND THEN ON TO MARIA, SEAFOOD SALAD.  LUCKY'S I HAD TO HUNT FOR FRIDAY FREEBIE AND FINALLY ASKED THE MANAGER.  IT WAS ON AN END CAP YOU HAD TO KNOW.  MAYBE A DOZEN BOTTLES. 

I CAME HOME, PUT THINGS AWAY, ON TO ST J.  I CAME STRAIGHT HOME.  I'M RESTING FOR TOMORROW'S CHECKUP AT CARE MORE.  AND I'M LOOKING FOR THE AARP RENEWAL WITH THE LUGGAGE ORGANIZERS.  OH, WELL.  I FOUND THE WALLET ORGANIZER AND DUFFEL BAG SO FAR.

FINALLY

I LOVE AFFIRMATIONS.  MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS IMPROVING.   I CAN FALL ASLEEP AND AWAKE PEACEFULLY.  I DREAMED OF A GIANT BLACK CARP, OTHELLO SWIMMING CALMLY IN MY POND.  I LOVE THE OTHER SIDE.

I SHARED BURDOCK WITH SENIORS AND THEY ASKED WHAT HEALTH PROPERTIES.  I LOOKED IT UP AND ITS GOOD FOR LIVER, KIDNEYS, BLOOD PRESSURE, SUGAR, CHOLESTEROL, WHAT ISN'T IT GOOD FOR?