M2

I'VE HAD A WEEK TO CONSIDER.  I AWOKE AT 2:30 DISTURBED THAT I'M STILL THE ENABLING CO-DEPENDENT.  WHEN AM I GOING TO LET GO THE GUILT AND BE HERE FOR ME?  I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT, IT DOESN'T BELONG TO ME, IT'S THE FAMILY TRADITION.  I LEAVE IT WITH THE FAMILY.

I NEVER WANTED THE STONEHENGE MEDAL.  BACK IN 1987 I WAS LIVING IN SAN JOSE ON RADIO AVE.  MARGEE WAS TRYING TO GET PREGNANT AFTER GETTING MARRIED AND RETURNING FROM HER EUROPEAN HONEYMOON.  I WASN'T INVITED TO THE WEDDING.  I ATTENDED THE RECEPTION AT THE HOME THAT WAS HER GIFT FROM BEING IN CANDICE WOZNIAK WEDDING PARTY.  THEY WERE ROOM MATES.  I WAS COMPARTMENTALIZED.  SHE USED ME UNPAID TO GET WHAT SHE WANTED AS HER SPIRITUAL COUNSELOR.  LIKE FRED GOULD.

HER INNER GUIDANCE TOLD HER TO GIVE ME HER ONE SOUVENIR FROM HER HONEYMOON IF SHE WANTED TO GET PREGNANT AS HER TOP PRIORITY.  WHAT WAS MOST IMPORTANT.  NOT ME OR MY FEELINGS EVER.

I NEVER NOTICED HOW I WAS DISRESPECTED.  IT WAS SO FAMILIAR LIKE MY FAMILY.  IT WAS MY OLD NORMAL.  AND NOW I UNDERSTAND MY INSANE FAMILY.  THEY USED ME TOO.  AS GOD'S TOOL MY LIFE IS ALWAYS SUPPORTED.  GOD ALWAYS REWARDS ME.

I GAVE HER A GARNET BRACELET TO REMIND HER TO BE OPEN TO HER TRUE LOVE AND SHE HAD DOUBTS ABOUT LEE BECAUSE HE WAS WORKING SAN JOSE MAINTENANCE AND THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER TAKING SQUARE DANCE CLASS.