I'm driving up the mountain, a long line of vars and trucks when we hit a patch of unpaved highway. a fool guns it spinning rocks and dirt, we hang back 'til the dust clears and proceed with caution. I can continue or find another road.
I may be releasing my attachments to life. one less responsibility.
I went to Consumer Cell website down.
listening to Kelly Howell Super Learning I feel peace. I so enjoy the Disney puzzle. I soaked in the tub at 10. it's so nice to have Bonnie and Judy back at lunch. Toke came early and left early. she feels obligated. Fred was late and sat next to Bonnie. everybody likes sitting next to me. I think it's the music.
I'm still considering if I want email.
chase sent a letter about requiring two step security. hopefully it's for online not in branch. maybe I'll call tomorrow maybe I won't. HAH!
I feel pretty good on 5 hours sleep. I'm excited I don't know why. don't need to know. although I did buy a copy of Course in Miracles 2007 for $5 at Sunny yesterday. my copy from 1985.
and the Lucky's page is frozen.
I called Consumer cell @1030 am and texting is extra $5/mo I said I'd think about it. I started looking at how to text in manual 2021 Link II flip phone online website. not too complicated. I think. I'll print pages tomorrow.
Wheel is fine, YouTube.
they want me to pay for help support. I don't have texting so I can't retrieve a code. I'll deal with it tomorrow. maybe I don't need email.
chrome went dark mode I changed it in settings. I did it.
it's been years. it kept me alive 2001 when I couldn't digest regular food. then I advanced to chili and rice after much experimentation and pain. today I added eggs and spinach and minerals.
I don't feel like doing anything. I don't want to rest or do laundry. I know what I don't want to do.
baking soda+sugar = no cockroaches on 'common knowledge'.
I heated the $1.25 tuna Mac from $tree for b'fast. OK. I'm feeling depressed again. I'm feeling lonely. I've spent my life alone amidst people. they imprisoned me with their cruelty and isolation. that's how I was trained. I've been retraining myself. I feel sad and painful. my body pain is my family history. it's a record of the pain, physical and emotional abuse I've suffered. family pressure to perform for them. Toke too.
I went to Walmart paid PGE and picked up beets and Co Q. Prune Lucky's had lots of free hot sauce I loaded $ and it took my $. The lesson is to load it in store. new set up Walmart and Lucky's. no clearance sections.
Home Safeway I bought max 24 10 cent ramen clearance dark chock almond $4 and relaxing gummy $12. then St Just lunch and library hot spot.
group of 5 young people maybe 20's came to puzzle table no clue how to solve and frantic no esteem. the beard and long hair forgot his bag of movies came back as I was about to leave saved me from tracking them down.
I completely forgot my yesterday lunch salad. hot chili garbanzo spinach.
I've been waiting and checking everyday. I printed & gave Toke a copy.
Lucky's free hot sauce none I can check Prune since I want to get gummy Co Q 10 and beets at Walmart. maybe tomorrow.
I went to Safeway 10 cent ramen gone I got chips. home 1:10 for my TV. last night I watched Diane Warren documentary her Aspergers made me laugh and cry.
I put a battery in the Target clock and put it back in the box for protection. works great. it's the first new clock not a second hand store.
waiting for teeth cleaning at 2 pm.
I'm feeling depressed and I'm aware. I want this over with. half an hour to clean and polish. Whew!
I went to Target looking for wiper blades none I bought a battery wall clock.
wonderful easy puzzle too. I feel guilty. I feel so comfortable and pleasant. mom made my life hell to feel better about her life rather than change or improve herself. cruelty is easier for some. makes me feel sick.
I love arriving early and relaxing. I didn't get this from my parents who traditionally arrived early, fought and immediately returned home. if it wasn't so sad it'd be funny. comically tragic.
new menus yesterday. Sunny not yet. for my anniversary I want something special.
I considered pizza but the college store doesn't stock Hawaiian. and I got a left over weird tasting lunch.
I bought things I need and must have. Garage back door unlocked. not me.
I puzzled, left 25 green pieces.
lunch was me and Toke. Walter picked up his salad and went home to wait for his yearly apt inspection. still no Fred. I had extra tamale pie.
I've been so depressed for so many years. I can see results with Walter. he makes up for Eric.
I used stair climber tote and practiced folding it up. I brought in 2 loads of water. I used shopping therapy to get me by.
every change is a death of the past. acknowledging is respect.
Gym 2 - 150 ECR 94087, back end cap ethnic aisle 18 has Lilikoi Kombucha $5. I found the frozen roasted sweet corn and Hawaiian pizza.
I drove to Homestead, Cup, looking for freebie too late. bought orange cream coke uncommonly delicious, cornbread, mini chips 2/$1, frozen sweet grilled corn, Hawaiian pizza. home 4:15 cooked pizza ate for lunch dinner. added oregano.
Bonnie was at St Just her mom Judy in hospital high blood pressure.
my achy, breaky body. it's been a challenge re-habing my body. every day a little bit.
@ Lucky's I picked up free Culture Pop prebiotic soda and bought 2 clearance salads $2 ea, almond croissants, tortilla chips 2/$3. came home to put groceries away. seniors 7:30 am.
my hot spot is ready to pick up by 26th, Sunny due back 27th. Yay!! 'Igor' pick up by 25th county.
Walter chose to have lunch with big Gloria. so good to socialize.
I stopped at a garage sale Fordham afraid I'd see some Aiko stole. I'm OK. Clear. home 12:45.
intrusive memories of mom burning me. when I was maybe 8 one of the grandparents died and she suddenly became religious. she set up a Shinto alter and used me to expiate everyone's sins by putting incense on my hand and lighting it in some ritual. if I moved or made a sound she's start all over. I learned to detach to survive earning her labeling me inhuman when she was the monster.
so when Walter suffers I understand. that's what hurts me regarding Eric's tragic death. the torture he suffered as a child continued til it killed him.
I have such a stress headache from my neck.
I'm so relaxed. I started new puzzle someone set out. one we did years ago. like an old friend.
watching commercials about homeless kids reminds me of how terrified I was to sleep. I had a toy derringer I slept with under my pillow. I was systematically terrorized. mom would scream and slap me as a joke. and I'm still terrorized. my sister would lie in wait to ambush me. Mitzi did it to her kids too.
cars are the downfall of civilization. pollutes the planet, encourages obesity, false sense of superiority. we can't live without them.
pretty perfect. Toke was very late. Melvin reminded me Fred and Debbie drove to visit family up north. the fish was OK. dinner was lunch corn I added to cooked rice and 2 eggs. Walter sat next table new friends. I'm so proud of him.
I am content. I have canned food and lots of chips.
and city and county have 'Igor' again.
I started cleaning up my major depression. for the last 8 years I haven't done anything. let everything lay where it fell. I retrieved the bracelet hiding from me from 2 weeks ago. my motivation.
'Millers' is so funny. lol. a wonderfully dysfunctional vengeful family not genetically connected to me. ha ha.
I just do the best I can. I'm having electrical problems with the battery clock and slow internet. my Safeway pages assume I'm a bot.
I tried the Sunnyvale Dell chrome same problem with Safeway pages. maybe due to Saturday freebie. and I bless my Sunny Dell book ordeal. I looked for my blog and couldn't find it on Google. I had to go to blogspot.
my back is demanding new behavior. I never knew relaxation or freedom or peace. my back forced me to leave my family behind or die. mom always complained she never had nice things when she destroyed them.
Diabetes is all about not deserving the sweetness of life. Diabetes = too much sweetness = death. Diabetes and cancer feed off anger.
watermelon passion fruit.
Good Vibes. I feel good, do do do do do do do. Aveeno wash makes me so smooth.
1 pm no phone coverage must be sun storms. chrome weird jumping weird.
I filled the tank @ Costco 50 after checking prices yesterday. same both locations. so much easier to drive.
I'm paying more attention to everything or practicing. I'm learning to take everything slowly. I took pride in my speed.
WHEW!! Chromebook is safe. The hold is filled and Cody brought my request and sent back the county movie. I was resigned.
like babies before next step. I didn't sleep 'til after midnight. could be the amount I did leading to restless back without discomfort.
I may have to turn the chrome in 75 copies at central 36 hot spots . 36 chrome and 61 hot spots at Sunny. amazing.
came home to rest. wisdom. weirdness continues. 'Community' listed as season 1 is actually 6th final season.
my lifelong anxiety has run my life. and I dropped the strawberries and didn't react. I can make more. I used squeegee to clean it up easy.
Toke had a shiner she said she fell in the house. that's why I don't walk to Nob hill. I'm unsteady since the car incident.
so far so good. after seniors I drove to Cupertino library to renew my card and remembered Star 1 deposit. I'm feeling anxious. I've always felt anxiety just suppressed my feelings. I realized at Cup I returned a movie to Cody.
driving home I stopped America's Tires for air check only 2 lbs ea. woo hoo. another onerous responsibility.
ate Sprouts bear claw so superior to Lucky's I can't eat anymore. I tried the lasagna soup too spicy.
never entered my mind yesterday. I needed glucosamine bought 12 $anta Clara and white board and cheese puffs. I forgot St Justin no lunch came home tired. I ate entire cheese puffs. good for my soul.
and today I was 'don't think just do' so showered at 24 and 10:30 hungry here I am waiting on Sunny open 1 pm. I knew yesterday I had a spot but I wanted to stay home. life is so easy in the flow.
BK has wi-fi and crispy tacos. so good. my reward for paying Citibank and City's weird zero balance when the bill says $177.28 due in 2 days.
I've been here Sunny an hour feels like 5.
3:13 playing on Hindu puzzle man trashed it- time for something different.
free Safeway drink I planned on Maria last second detoured to Gym 2 bought my 2 get 3 free chips and coupon free dip. The checker gave me free drink only certain flavors. Sprouts clearance half peach pie, almond bear claws, stevia.
parked at 24 good because of holiday I walked store for sale almond croissants, strawberries. back to 24 showered and internet. back to Lucky's I used $2 coupon for ice cream and bought 8 PC/$5.99 sale fried chicken, 2/$4 frozen dinners. lunch was chicken and fresh strawberries.
I'm happy puzzling. I played 'til 10 then soak and stretch. lunch OK Walter and Salome holiday stressed picking nits. I refuse.
I decided to mail life insurance and withdraw Chase then home for games.
may be missing pieces.
I'm still waiting for a hot spot. I'd like to have it for the 4th.
I'm wearing all denim shirt and skirt. comfy.
