I UNDERSTAND THE GLAMOUR-Ipad

There's a sense of connection with the internet.  It's another false addiction.  For one thing it can spellcheck, it's an instant gratification, it's the illusion of company without any requirements.  No real connection requiring any real response. And the ease. So easy!

People with no experience of connectedness will be enchanted.  They live in families with unspoken contracts.  Their definition of connection.

And the ease of writing.  The false sense of doing, creating that's empty.  Yet it seems real because it takes up space.  The appearance of reality.

And the emojis.  One picture for words.  To easy, too simple.

TEETH OF THE HYDRA

T SHOWS ME WHAT MY LIFE MIGHT HAVE BEEN IF I'D BEEN LEFT IN HAWAII.  HIS FAMILY CONSUMES HIM.

WATCHED MY BLIND BROTHER.  BECAUSE OF GUILT BILL THE OLDER BROTHER TAKES CARE OF HIS YOUNGER BLIND BROTHER WHO'S A JERK.  WHEN THEY WERE KIDS THEY HAD A DIVING CONTEST AND BILL WON WHILE JERK HIT HIS HEAD ON THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL.  THE PARENTS IDOLIZE JERK AND COERCE BILL INTO DOING EVERYTHING JERK WANTS.  JERK WANTS TO DRIVE SO THEY LET HIM.  THEY ENCOURAGE JERK TO DO MARATHONS THAT BILL HAS TO DO ALSO TO GUIDE JERK.  BILL'S LIFE IS SERVICE TO A MEAN AND JEALOUS GOD.  BILL GETS ZERO ACKNOWLEDGMENT FOR HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS. BILL CAN SEE SO RUNNING 26 MILES IS DISCOUNTED. 

THROUGH A SET OF ACCIDENTS BILL MEETS HIS PERFECT WOMAN.

MY LIFE UNCONSCIOUS.  T'S LIFE NOW. 

HE LIES-ROB

I'VE DETERMINED BASED ON BEHAVIOR THIS WEEKEND THAT HE TOLD ME 30 YRS AGO HE HAD A SON AND NOW HE'S LYING ABOUT TELLING ME.


HE CLAIMS HE WAS JOKING FOR A WEEK.  HE WAS TOO SERIOUS AT THE TIME AND THERE WAS NO PUNCH LINE.


BE WARNED AND AWARE.  PRAY FOR ALL CONCERNED ESPECIALLY ME.

CHOICES

I'M VERY CLEAR WE CONSTRUCT OUR REALITY BY OUR CHOICES.  WE CAN CHOOSE TO IGNORE REALITY AND CONSTRUCT AN IMAGINARY LIFE THAT DOESN'T EXIST EXCEPT IN THE MIND. 

THE PHYSICAL RESULTS ARE THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION.  SO MANY PEOPLE LAMENT THE PRODUCT OF THEIR IMAGINATION CHOOSING TO BELIEVE IT'S A COMPLETE SURPRISE RATHER THAN THE LOGICAL RESULT OF THEIR CHOICES.

THAT'S CRAZY.

CRAZY OLD LADY

I GET TO BE MYSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME.  AGE HAS CLOAKED ME IN THE ARMOR OF AGE.  I CAN GET AWAY WITH BEING MYSELF AND STANDING UP FOR MYSELF. 

I'VE NEVER FELT FREE TO BE ME!!!

MAYBE I AM CRAZY, IT JUST FEELS RIGHT.

SUNDAY AFTER THE GYM I PARKED AT LUCKY'S AND A MAN IN A SUV HEADED FOR THE SAME SPOT MOTIONED FOR ME TO MOVE, GESTURING AT ALL THE EMPTY SPOTS AROUND.  I ADMIT I GOT IRRITATED AND GESTURED BACK TO HIM ALL THE EMPTY SPOTS HE COULD PARK IN.  HE THEN GESTURED I WAS CRAZY. 

I HAD ALREADY SET THE PARKING BRAKE AND TURNED OFF THE CAR.  SO WHO WAS CRAZY.  AND DOES A SMART PERSON GESTURE ANY THING AT A CRAZY PERSON.

THE TERRIBLE TWO'S

DAD AND ALL LIKE HIM DISRESPECT ME WHEN THEY REVERT TO TWO YEAR OLD BEHAVIOR AND AS THEY BE THEY HAVE.

WITH TWO YEAR OLD BEHAVIOR COMES TWO YEAR OLD CONSEQUENCES.  ARE THEY READY FOR THAT.

SO MANY SENIORS HAVE A HORRIBLE END OF LIFE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THEY ARE OUTSIDE THE RULES THAT EVERYONE HAS TO FOLLOW. 

IT'S GOOD I LIKE RULES.  I FIND RULES COMFORTING.  I FEEL SECURE FOLLOWING RULES.  I KNOW THE PROBABLE OUTCOME.

HEALING-DW MONDAY 12/12

THE FIRST DAY OF SRS SPA CLOSED.  I'VE BEEN TO ST J, LUCKY'S FOR MY FREE COFFEE, AND RETURNED THE SJ DVDS.  I'M AT THE ROSE GARDEN LIBRARY.

AND I'M THINKING OF 24 HOUR FITNESS.  AND I'M OFF.

I STILL HAVE MY FREE CHILI'S DESSERT TO PICK UP.

STAYING HUMBLE

TODAY I GOT TO SRS AND LOCKED MY PURSE IN THE CAR WITH ALL MY KEYS.

THE GOOD PART WAS CSAA WASN'T BUSY AT 7:26 SO I WAS BACK INSIDE BY 8.

I WAS TOO EXCITED TO PUZZLE SO I TUBBED. 

THIS SITE IS DOING STRANGE THINGS TODAY.  I'M GOING TO PAY CITI.

SAYING NO

SAYING NO OR DECLINING IS SAYING YEAS TO OTHER THINGS.

BUT WHO KNOWS

I WONDER IF I'LL EVER GET TO SEE THE OVERVIEW OF MY LIFE LIKE I CAN CHART BLOGS.

OF COURSE BLOGGER DOES IT FOR ME.

I DROVE OFF THIS AM SANS BELT.  RETURNED AND PUT IT ON.  THEN TO SRS WHERE THE SPA IS CLOSED SO ON TO CAMPBELL?

I DON'T HAVE TO SO MAYBE I WON'T.  AT LEAST I'M OUT OF THE HOUSE.  MAYBE I'LL GO TO SV SPA NEW.

FEELING VERY ADULT

FINALLY, I FEEL MATURE.  I'M GOING INTO THE HOLIDAYS WITH A NEW ATTITUDE.  I HAVE OPTIONS.  I CAN GO TO FIRST PRESBY SC 11:30-2:30, ST CLARE 12-3, FIRST PRESBY SV 4-6.  ANY AND ALL. 

I HAVE THE GYM FOR THERAPY.  I HAVE A RICH AND FULL LIFE. 

DONALD TRUMP IS FORCED TO GROW UP AND GROW OUT OF BULLYING.  MAYBE IT WILL BE TRUE FOR ALL BULLIES.

MY BACK NOT BEING BETTER HAS A PURPOSE.  I FIND OUT THE REALITY OF MY RELATIONSHIPS. 

A LITTLE MILK

THREE PINTS IS TOO MUCH AND WILL LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS THE BATHROOM WAY.

AT THE LIBRARY-MY NEW LIFE

I AM BLESSED.

VICIOUS-10/24/2016

I'VE BEEN WATCHING IAN MCKELLAN AND DEREK JACOBI IN A PBS COMEDY SERIES ABOUT TWO GAY MEN IN A LOVING, COMMITTED 50 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. 

I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I FOUND IT SO ENDEARING UNTIL I REALIZED IT WAS MOM AND DAD.  JUST AS INSANE AND NOT ANYWHERE AS DESTRUCTIVE.  THEY LACKED LOVE BUT NEEDED EACH OTHER.

AND REMOVED FROM ME. 

THE BEST PART:  I CAN MUTE THEM OR TURN THEM OFF COMPLETELY.

I JUST DON'T KNOW/LIARS

I'VE BEEN WATCHING NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION DVD.  I WAS ABUSED BECAUSE OF MY AUTISM.  I WAS BURNED AND TORTURED DUE TO A'S LIES AND FALSE BLAME. 


NO WONDER I WAS CONFUSED.  HOW COULD THE LIAR BE BELIEVED?


THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO BELIEVE LIES ONLY END UP LYING TO THEMSELVES.


THE SELF LIES LEAD TO AN INEVITABLE UNHAPPY DISEASED END.

THE OUCHY FACTOR

I LOOK FORWARD TO THE TIME I HAVE NO ACHES AND PAINS.

THAT'S WHAT AGING IS:  ACHES AND PAINS.  HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD.

I PLAN ON YOUTHING.

THE SEGREGATED-SEGMENTED MIND-DIS/FUNCTION

I CONSTRUCTED SHIELDS TO PROTECT ME FROM MY ABUSIVE FAMILY.  THOSE WALLS ALLOWED ME TO SURVIVE BY AVOIDING DIRECT CONFRONTATION WITH THE HYPOCRITES WHO SPOKE LIES TO MY FACE BASED ON THEIR WALLS.


THAT IS HOW THIS PLANET DIS-FUNCTIONS.


I CAN ONLY BE AS HONEST WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS BASED ON THE ACCESS I HAVE TO MY AUTHENTIC THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.


AUTHENTIC FEELINGS ARE BASED ON REALITY.  AUTHENTIC REACTIONS TO STIMULI. 


SELF-PROTECTIVE, CONSTRUCTED FEELINGS AND REACTIONS ARE REQUIRED IN DANGEROUS SITUATIONS.  MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL DEFENSIVE WALLS LIKE CASTLES AND MOATS.  REACTIONS ARE CONSTRUCTED BY LEARNING WHAT WORKS TO DIFFUSE EVENTS; HOW TO MINIMIZE UNWARRANTED PUNISHMENT. 


I DON'T KNOW WHAT I FEEL FROM TRAINING MYSELF TO DIFFUSE.  RETRAINING IS EXHAUSTING.  I WILL GET FASTER, IT WILL BE EASIER.


 

survived another death-iversary/NOT VERY WELL

I'VE BEEN BETTER. 

SUNDAY OR MONDAY (LABOR DAY 9-5) I USED THE POLE BAG TO PICK AVOS AND THIS WEEK HAS BEEN TORTURE.

MY BACK, FEET, ARMS, SHOULDERS HURT SOOOO BAD.  AND TUES' 88DEGREE DAY I ALMOST HAD A MIGRAINE.  I HAD TO GO HOME AFTER CAMPBELL LIBRARY FROM NAUSEA. 

TODAY'S THE WORST.  I'LL GO $TORE AND HOME.  I PROMISED MYSELF CHIPS AND ICE CREAM.

I MAY STAY IN THE REST OF THIS WEEK RECOVERING.  THE SQUIRRELS AND CROWS CAN PARTY HARDY.

SUNDAY SENIOR ST JUSTINE

IT STARTED OUT WEIRD WITH NO PARKING AT THE LIBRARY DUE TO SOME BIKE DEMO AT THE PARK.  THEY HAD THE ROAD BLOCKED UNTIL 1PM.  I PARKED ST JUSTINE.

SO I WENT TO ST JUSTINE AFTER RETURNING MY DVDS.  HAD CHICKEN ALFREDO, SALAD, GARLIC BREAD.

THIS AM I WATCHED SUN MORN CH 5, CLASS STRETCH, HOT TUB GYM, SFWY, HOME AND MOVIE, CONFIRMATION; CLIVE OWEN AS AN ALCOHOLIC CARPENTER AND TAKING CARE OF HIS 9 YR OLD SON.  I DIDN'T GET WHY IT WAS IMPORTANT UNTIL I SAW HE WAS A CARPENTER. 

EXPLAINS A LOT ABOUT MY ALCOHOLIC FATHER, CODEPENDENT MOTHER.  MAYBE IF HE'D HAD A SON HE WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING WITH HIS LIFE.

THEY ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL INADEQUATE NOT BEING THE BOY.  NOT MY FAULT, THEIRS. 

TAKE THAT!!!

CAL FIRES

THIS SUMMER HAS BEEN CONTINUOUS FIRES NORTH AND SOUTH SO THE BAY AREA IS CONSTANTLY AFFECTED.

MY ALLERGIES AND FEELING TIRED.  I'M TAKING BETTER CARE OF MYSELF AND USING THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE.  PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

WHY, OH, WHY DID I TAKE SO LONG?  I GUESS THE PERILS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE. 

I DESERVE A LOFTY,CLEAN, COMFORTABLE SPACE ALL MY OWN.  I DESERVE GREAT FOOD.  I DESERVE....MY BEST.

NEW INSIGHT/ T

POOR THING WAS VAGUE ABOUT THE GIG AT THE SEBASTOPOL  GRAVENSTEIN APPLE FESTIVAL.  HE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO MANIPULATE.  HE WOULDN'T EVEN TELL ME WHERE OR WHAT, SAYING HE DIDN'T KNOW.  HE KNEW HE WAS PLAYING AT 2:30.  HE DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ME A CHANCE TO GOOGLE ANY INFO.  THE DAILY WORD WAS GRACE.

WE DIDN'T LEAVE SAN JOSE UNTIL 8:30 A.M.  HE STOPPED AT LOCO'S WITHOUT MENTIONING TO ME HE NEEDED THE PASSES AND TICKETS PRETENDING HE TOLD ME.  WE GOT TO SEBASTOPOL AND HE WAS A CHICKEN WITH HIS HEAD CUT OFF.

HE TRIED TO DROP ME OFF AT THE GATE SO I WOULDN'T SEE ANYONE FROM THE BAND.  HE DISRESPECTED ME HOPING I'D GET DISGUSTED.  LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING NEW.  SUCCESS WILL ALWAYS ELUDE HIM.  I WONDER IF HE'LL EVER LEARN TO SEE IT OR WILL HE CONTINUE TO PRETEND.

QUITE THE CLIFFHANGER.

I HAD A GOOD TIME.  I WALKED AROUND WITH MANUEL'S WIFE, GRACE.  I BOUGHT BEADS, ROCKS, AND CHICKEN TKAAL FOR LUNCH.  I CHARGED IT ON DISC SO I HAVE A RECORD.

ANGER

SUCH A SILLY CONCEPT.

ANGER CAN BE USEFUL. I SAW MOM CLEAN TWO TIMES IN MY LIFE WHEN SHE WAS MAD AT DAD.  BURNING OFF ANGER IS GOOD.

AND SOME PEOPLE USE ANGER AS MOTIVATION TO CHANGE.

I HAD TWO DREAMS YESTERDAY ABOUT MY SISTERS.  A.M. I DREAMED MIT GAVE A A KEY TO THE HOUSE AND SHE WAS HARASSING ME AGAIN.  P.M. I DREAMED MIT STOLE ALL MY CLOTHES AND RACKS AND CONFRONTED ME FOR HAVING TOO MUCH.  I BECAME INCENSED AND GRABBED HER BY THE THROAT.  I WAS SO ANGRY IN THE DREAM.  SO NOT THE WAY I FEEL.

THEN I WATCHED THE FAMILY FANG.  PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO SCREW UP THE KIDS.  THE KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO FIX THEMSELVES.  LEAVE THE NEST AND FLY AWAY.

YESTERDAY TOMAS CAME OVER AND TRIMMED THE TREES.

IS THAT PART OF THE DREAMS?

I DON'T KNOW-TIRED

I MAY BE TIRED FROM ALL THE FIRES, THE POOR AIR QUALITY OR I MIGHT BE REACTING TO DAD'S DEATH ANNIVERSARY.

A-H WAS PARTICULARLY OBNOXIOUS THE MONTH BEFORE 9/5 AND I STARTED BEING SLEEP DEPRIVED. 
SHE SNUCK MOM TO TAHOE TO GOAD DAD INTO ACCUPUNCTURE AND HER CHIROPRACTOR.  LEFT ME HOLDING THE DAD AS ALWAYS. 

THEN AFTER DAD DIED 9/5 MANIPULATED MOM BY WITHHOLDING.  SHE MADE MOM COOK AND CLEAN FOR HER AND WOULDN'T LET HER EAT WITH THEM.  A-H TALKED MOM INTO LOANING HER 100 GRAND FOR DOWN PAYMENT ON FORDHAM HOUSE.  MOM WAS PERFECTLY AWARE OF A-H LARCENY AND CO=OWNED THE HOUSE,  MOM  STRESSING TO ME IT WAS A LOAN.  AND MOM MADE HER EXECUTOR ANYWAY.  MAYBE THAT'S WHY A-H RAN HER RAGGED THE DAY MOM DIED.  THERE WAS TALK OF CHANGING THE WILL.  WELL, SHE DIDN'T.

TOO INSANE.

KEEPING ON

LAST NIGHT I FELT SO TIRED I DIDN'T WANT TO GO SALING TODAY.  ST WM IN LOS ALTOS, RUMMAGE AT HARRIS-LASS, SAVERS 50% OFF TODAY.

AFTER A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP AND RESTING 'TIL 7:30 I FELT BETTER.  I'M STILL TIRED.  I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL I TRIED TO GIVE TOO MUCH $ AT RUMMAGE.  CLOSE TO SRS SO I TUBBED.  DVDS DUE MAIN SO HERE I AM.  I COULD GO ST JUST. WHY PUSH MYSELF. 

I FOUND BRAND NEW TODAY LIBRARY ESSENTRICS DVD.  HURRAY!!  FOR FREE AS I AM.  TODAY'S DAILY WORD.

TYGJ

MY BACK IS STILL ADJUSTING AND ADAPTING. 

CAL SUSHI

HEY! I JUST REALIZED I COULE BE SUSHIE.  I JUST ATE 10 PCS THAT SU MADE.  SHE BROUGHT IT IN FOR THE HEN TABLE BUT THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT.  HURRAY!! MORE FOR ME!


EATING BREAKFAST AT 6 MAKES FOR A LONG A M.  SO MID MORN BFAST IS GREAT!

NOW I GET IT

I CAN'T GET MY FORTUNE UNTIL I CLEAR THE PAST OR I WILL SELF-SABOTAGE AND MAKE MYSELF UNHAPPY WHICH IS AGAINST THE PRIME DIRECTIVE. 


IT'S GETTING CLEARER AND CLEARER.  FEELS HARD WON.  IT MAY BE MY DELUSION.


SPECIFICALLY, I FOUND MY BANDANAS.  I LOSE, MISPLACE , THINGS WHEN I GET TOO TIRED OR TOO HAPPY TO BRING ME DOWN. 


A NEW EXPERIENCE I'M ADJUSTING TO GENTLY.  PRACTICE IN BEING GENTLE WITH MYSELF TO TRANSLATE TO OTHERS. 


EINSTEIN SAID TEACHING BY EXAMPLE ISN'T ANOTHER WAY, IT'S THE ONLY WAY.


I WATCHED TOUCHED BY FIRE, A MOVIE ABOUT AUTISTIC PEOPLE AND HOW SOME MAY PERCEIVE THE CONDITION AS A GIFT RATHER THAN A DISABILITY.  FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

RESISTING PERVS

REDCOAT AT SRS TRIED TO INTIMIDATE ME.  TODAY HE SAYS HE'S THE  VOLUNTEER IN THE CMPTR RM.  HE'S PROBABLY TO TRY TO SUBVERT THE ANTI-PORN LOCKS.

LAST WEEK I SAW HIM AT THE VOLUNTEER CMPTR LOOKING AT HUNDREDS OF PICTURES OF YOUNG GIRLS  AND HALF THE CMPTRS WERE LOCKED FROM SOMEONE TRYING TO ACCESS FORBIDDEN WEBSITES.

HE ANNOUNCED HE WAS THE VOLUNTEER AND ASKED EVERYONE TO SIGN IN, BRINGING AROUND THE SIGN UP SHEET.  I TOLD HIM I SIGN IN AND OUT AT THE END.  HE'S A HITLER.  I HEILED HIM.

SO, I PLANNED ON COMING TO THE LIBRARY ANY WAY, I WANTED TO CHECK ST JUST.  STILL CLOSED.  AND I WANTED MY CAR PARKED IN THE SHADE.

NOW ALL I HAVE TO DECIDE IS WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

GETTING FREE

I'M TAKING CARE OF PUPPIES AGAIN.  MAX AND ZOE.  JOSH AND JILL'S DOGS.  THEY FLEW TO ORE. OR WASH.

TOMAS IS SUCH A NICE GUY TO AGREE TO TAKE CARE OF TWO HOUSES AND TWO DOGS.  AND WORK PRETTY MUCH FULL TIME AT CVS.

I GUESS THAT'S WHY I HELP.

I CALLED CAL PLUMBING SAT THE 2 AND DAVID SAID TO CALL THIS WEEK AFTER I SHOWED HIM THE EXTENT OF THE JOB;  MASTER SHOWER, SINK;  KITCHEN SINK.  I FORGOT TO ASK ABOUT THE WATER SOFTENER.  HE SAID MONDAY AND I REMINDED HIM IT WAS A HOLIDAY.

I HAVE TO GET PETROL THIS WEEK AND WATER MY LILAC TREES.

I'M DOING OK.  MY FOOT IS SLOWLY IMPROVING.

HELPING HELENE

I DID THAT MONDAY.  I SORTED THROUGH ONE CLOSET WHILE SHE SAT AND DECIDED.  BIG WIN FOR ME.  WHEN SHE COULDN'T DECIDE I LEFT IT AND TOLD HER SHE COULD DECIDE LATER.  I DIDN'T TRY TO HELP HER DECIDE ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  HURRAY!!!  NOT MY JOB.


YESTERDAY I DROPPED OFF HER CLOTHES AT SAVERS AND FOUND TWO CUTE BATHING SUITS.  THEN I SAT IN THE CAR AND DECIDED THE $ANC STORE.  THEN I WENT BACK TO SRS AND SHOWERED THE 90 DEGREE SWEAT OFF AND CAME HOME.


SO MY BODY HAS BEEN YELLING AT ME.  MY NECK AND SHOULDERS.


AT LUNCH I GAVE KEN AND TRUDY THE REFERRAL CARDS FROM STAR ONE.  WE WERE TALKING TAXES AND I MENTIONED THE BANKS AND CU'S DO FREE TAXES ON A WALK IN ONLY BASIS.  THEY ASKED IF THEY HAD TO BELONG TO ANY SPECIAL GROUP AND I TOLD THEM IT'S CHANGED.  THEY WERE INTERESTED.  THE FIRST TIME I USE THE CARDS.  I'LL SEE. 


SO, TODAY I LOST A CAR KEY SOMEWHERE IN THE CAR.  HELENE GAVE ME A BUNCH OF VEGGIES I PUT IN THE TRUNK.  THEN I OPENED THE CAR AND READ THE PAPER SHE GAVE ME.  WHEN I LOOKED FOR THE KEY IT WASN'T IN THE TRUNK, DOOR, UNDER THE SEAT.  OH, WELL...


I GUESS I'M NOT AWARE OF HOW TIRED I AM.


I'M LEARNING. 


I STILL HAVE TWO FROZEN DINNERS FROM HELENE'S MEALS ON WHEELS.  AND I BOUGHT TURKEY FROM THE $ANC STORE.  I'M SET.


TYGJ

OH MY FEET, ANKLES AND BACK

THE THREE SPRAINS ON MY LEFT ANKLE AFTER THE INITIAL INJURY NEVER HURT.

THEY HURT NOW!! THE SOLE IS BRUISED.

AND MY TAILBONE AND HIPS.  I'M FEELING LIKE A WRECK.  TIME FOR HOT TUB.

FREAK OUT=MIRACLE

DOING NEW BEHAVIORS:

TODAY I SCARED MYSELF.  I TUBBED AND LEFT MY STUFF IN THE LOCKER TAKING JUST ONE BAG TO CHARGE MY PHONE.  I PUZZLED AND WHEN I DECIDED TO COMPUTE I COULDN'T FIND MY PURSE BECAUSE I FORGOT IT WAS IN LOCKUP.

YESTERDAY WAS SUCH A MIRACLE I HAD TO DISRUPT THE HIGH.

TUESDAY 90* DAY MELTED THE HOT GLUE ON MY SHOE FLOWER.  I NOTICED IT MISSING WHEN I RETURNED TO THE SENIOR CENTER FROM THE CAMP-LIB.  SO I RETRACED MY STEPS KNOWING I COULD FIND IT.  I FORGOT I PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE THE AM.  THINKING I HAD LOST IT THE PM.  I COULD HAVE LOST IT ANYWHERE AT THE LIBRARY.

WEDNESDAY ANOTHER 90* DAY I RESIGNED MYSELF, BLESSED IT, AND LET IT GO.

SO LAST NIGHT AS I'M LEAVING, PARKED ON THE NORTH SIDE I SEE THE BLOSSOM LYING IN THE GUTTER.

MIRACLE.

TODAY IS A GLORIOUS WINDY 67*.

EXHAUSTION=CALM TACKLING IRS

COULDN'T SLEEP.  AWOKE 1 AND 3 AND 3:30 SO WATCHED DVDS.

I'M FORGETTING THE PERSONAL PRONOUN AGAIN.  I.

PAID MY CONSUMER CELLULAR ONE DAY LATE.  I MUST PAY DISCOVER AND CONSUMER THE SAME TIME SO I'LL REMEMBER.

JUST HOT TUB BING HAS BEEN DOING THE TRICK FOR MY BACK.  I'VE BEEN USING THE JETS FOR MASSAGE ON MY BACK, CALVES AND FEET AND SEEMS TO BE DOING THE JOB.  I DRINK AT LEAST ONE BOTTLE OF WATER.

CHANGED PURSES.  CHANGE IS SOO UNSETTLING FOR ME.

I LIKE WORD SCRAMBLES AND SEARCH.  I FIND IT SOOTHING LIKE MOM DID WITH POKER MACHINES.  WE ALL HAVE OUR TOOLS.

YESTERDAY AT LUNCH L WAS EXTREME.  SHE'S LOOKING FOR A FIGHT.  I HOPE SHE GETS ONE.

TODAY'S THE DAY TO LOOK OVER IRS PAPERS.

SPENT YESTERDAY AND DAY B-4 90 DEGREE AT SENIOR CENTER.  HOME AWAY FROM HOME.  I HAVE FRIENDS.

LITTLE CHICKEN-WRITTEN SAT-5-14

(SOMEHOW I FORGOT TO PUBLISH.  BECAME DRAFT)

SURELY MY NAME IF ANYONE KNEW WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE.

I WENT TO GYM SV AND TO LOS ALTOS METHODISTS RUMMAGE AGAIN TODAY.  I WENT YESTERDAY AFTER SRS.  YESTERDAY $3.75,TODAY HALF OFF, $8.50. 

I FEEL LIKE I'M WAITING FOR DISASTER TO STRIKE.  EVERYTHING'S GOING TOO SMOOTHLY. 

I GUESS I COULD WORK ON MY TAXES, THAT WILL BRING ME DOWN.

I COULD ALWAYS RELY ON MY FAMILY TO BRING ME DOWN.

THE BEGINNING OF SELF SABOTAGE.

                                THE FAMILY.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE,YESTERDAY I BOUGHT TWO RED LILAC TREES AT OSH FOR $21.93.  BIG ONES.

***ADDED SUNDAY.   FOR SOME REASON I DIDN'T TAB PUBLISH YESTERDAY.

THE ONE I HAD FROM MANTHEY'S DIED WHEN I COULDN'T GET OUT OF BED TO WATER IT. 

TO ME THE LILAC SYMBOLIZES SURVIVAL OF FRAGILE BEAUTY SUBJECT TO ABUSE. 

WHEN I WAS 10 MY JOB WAS TO WATER THE YARD AT 1260 LAWRENCE STATION ROAD.  MY SISTERS HAD NO JOBS.  THEY WERE RAISED TO BE FAT AND LAZY.  AND THEY DID NOTHING TO CHANGE IT.  THEY STILL EXPECT SOME ONE ELSE TO DO THE WORK.  THAT'S WHAT KILLS PEOPLE.

MOM THOUGHT IT WAS A MIRACLE THAT THE LILAC SURVIVED.  I DIDN'T TELL HER I WATERED IT TOO.  FOR SOME REASON SHE WANTED IT DEAD.

QUEENLY TROUBLE AT CITY LIB-ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON SUNDAY

DEPRESSION:

TRIED LOGGING BACK ON AFTER A BATHROOM BREAK.  I HAD TO GO TO THE DESK TO HAVE THEM CLEAR IT.

I REALIZE I SPENT MY ENTIRE PREVIOUS LIFE DEPRESSED.  LATELY I'VE FELT HAPPY.  NOW WHEN I RELAPSE TO DEPRESSION IT FEELS ODD.  BEFORE IT FELT NORMAL.  IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE PROGRESS BUT IT IS. 

THAT FEELING OF DOOM AND DISASTER IS THE PRECLUDE TO DEPRESSION.

SUNDAY MORNING ON CHANNEL 5 HAD A GAY NEWSCASTER RACHEL MADDOW (WHO CONTENDS WITH DEPRESSION) ON TO TELL HER STORY AS AN ANCHOR ON HER OWN TV SHOW.  SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER SHE HAS IT WHEN SHE HAS IT.  HER PARTNER REMINDS HER.

MAYBE PRINCE AND ROBIN WILLIAMS FORGOT TOO.

MAYBE BEING DIFFERENT IS A CHEMICAL DIFFERENCE SINCE MEDS CAN ALLEVIATE THE CONDITION.  I KNOW MY ANTI-ANXIETIES HELP IMMENSELY.

FEELINGS CAN ONLY POINT TO TRUTH IF THE TRAINING IS IN ALIGNMENT.  THEIR ABUSIVE MISUNDERSTOOD PASTS DIRECTED THEM TO CRASH AND BURN.

I'M RETRAINING MYSELF.

I'M HAVING FUN AND TREATING MYSELF AS THE PRINCESS, QUEEN, EMPRESS I AM.

AND GOD IS DIRECTING.

t's birthday week

I'VE BEEN OVER THERE EVERY DAY THIS WEEK.  HE'S STILL HIMSELF.  I'VE BEEN POSTPONED, HUNG OUT TO DRY.

SO I HUNG OUT AGAIN YESTERDAY AND HE ASKED IF I WANTED TO GO TO DINNER WITH GREG.  SO I RESTED, WATCHED "CHAPPIE" DESTINED TO BE CULT CLASSIC.  THE FIRST HALF IS SOO BAD.  FORMULAIC ROBOCOP.  THEN IT GETS INTERESTING.  THE IDEA OF IMMORTALITY IN A ROBOT BODY AND HOW THEY GET THERE.

A REFRESHING FRANKENSTEIN.

WE WENT TO THE RAMEN SHOP IN J TOWN.  ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF AUNTY AND UNCLE INOUYE.  WHEN THEY HAD ONE IN HAWAII.

MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG.  AND GREG TREATED.

TODAY I WANT MY FREE CHILI'S.  I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT PIZZA OR MOLTEN LAVA CAKE.

STILL BLUE GIRL-I DON'T CARE

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THRIFTING.  MY COUPON EXPIRED YESTERDAY AND I DON'T CARE. 

AND TODAY STARTED THE YEARLY CLEANUP AND I JUST DON'T CARE. 

AND MY DVDS WERE LATE AND I DON'T CARE. 

YESTERDAY WAS MOTHER'S DAY.  AND I DON'T CARE. 

I'M HERE AT CAMPBELL LIBRARY AND I DON'T CARE.

I DROPPED OFF MY SCHOOL TAX EXEMPTION ON AUTO PILOT.

I'M FEELING HUNGRY, TODAY'S T'S BDAY.  THE GIRLS TOOK HIM TO LUNCH.  I'M HUNGRY.  I OFFERED TO TAKE HIM TO DINNER. 

NOW I CARE AGAIN.

STILL WAITING COVERED CAL

STILL NOTHING FROM COVERED CAL.

I DECIDED I'LL GO TO T'S AND USE HIS COMPUTER AND PHONE AND TRY TO GET 1095A AGAIN.

DAVE SAID I COULD ACCESS MY RECORDS FROM A HOME COMPUTER AND PRINT IT OUT MYSELF.  WITH T'S HELP I CAN.

YESTERDAY WE WENT FALAFEL INSTEAD OF SUPER BURRITO.  MY DECISION.  HE WAS WEIRDLY CRABBY.  MAYBE FROM DRINKING THE NIGHT BEFORE, MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE.

TOOK TWO HOURS AND THREE PHONE CALLS BUT I PRINTED OUT TWO COPIES OF THE 1095A.  HURRAY!!!  GOD BLESS MARCUS FOR EXPLAINING IT TAKES FOUR WEEKS AND GETTING ME IN AND MAI FOR GIVING ME HINTS ON THE NAME AND PASSWORD.

Jdj1212$12(7977)
SEC ???s
carpenter
aaron
mashedpotato
karaoke
8lbs

despite not hearing from covered cal

...I'M MANAGING OK. 

I REALIZED THIS A M THAT PEOPLE CAN FEEL LOVE AND BE SO MESSED UP INTERNALLY THEIR BEHAVIOR DOESN'T SHOW IT.

I'M GETTING POSITIVE FEEDBACK FROM MY SENIOR CENTER BUDDIES.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'M NOT ALONE.  THEY APPRECIATE ME WITH ACTIONS.

HOT TUBBING IS WORKING ALL THE ACHES AND PAINS OF A LIFETIME OUT. 

MY BODY IS SORE IN A HEALING WAY.

I'M HOPING TO GET THE COPY OF MY 1095 A FROM DAVE THIS WEEK.  ALREADY A WEEK MONDAY:  4/25.

application#1000402160
case #5000223637
ref#160505-005111

hurray!!!!!! IRS

FIRST I TALKED TO SYMPATHETIC MR ADAMS AT IRS.  HE SAID I NEEDED FORM 1095A FROM COVERED CAL EVEN IF I HAD ALL THE RECORDS OF WHAT I PAID.  I COULDN'T FILL IT OUT MYSELF.  THE ONLY IMPACT IS ON PROCESSING MY 2015 RETURN, NO REFUND.

THEN I RESTED AND REASSURED MYSELF WITH AUNTY TOMIE'S $25 THAT I'D SURVIVE.

I SUMMONED UP MY COURAGE AND CALLED COVERED CALIFORNIA AND WAS WONDROUSLY SURPRISED I GOT TO TALK TO PATIENT DAVID ,MONDAY 4-25, 9:30 AM, WHO FINALLY FOUND MY ACCOUNT AFTER TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO LOOK IT UP.  HE SAID THE ADDRESS WAS WRONG, NOVILI AV.  IT'S BEEN LIKE THAT FOR YEARS.

I SHOULD BE GETTING A DUPLICATE SENT OUT AGAIN.

AND GUARD IT LIKE GOLD.

ME AND THE IRS-COVERED CAL

GOT IRS LETTER FRIDAY 4-15 OF COURSE.  WEEKEND TO STEW.

I'VE PRINTED INSTRUCTIONS AND FORM 1095 A BECAUSE ACCORDING TO FORM 8962 I NEED IT SINCE KAISER ONLY SENT ME A LETTER AND THE INSTRUCTIONS DON'T SPECIFY HOW TO GET MY RECORDS FROM THE MARKETPLACE. 


I'VE TRIED FOR HOURS.


OTHER THAN THAT I WEEDED FOR HALF HOUR THIS A M AND WILL SOAK AFTER THIS.  AND I WILL BIKE AND STRETCH.  I HAVEN'T FOR A WEEK SINCE MY BACK HAS BEEN IMPROVING AND SHIFTING AROUND. 


I SOAKED AT SENIORS A M AND 24 P M YESTERDAY.  WHEW!!


I'M FEELING CAPABLE AGAIN.

ON SUPER BURRITOS

WENT TO SOAK THIS A.M.  AND GOT OUT AT 9:15 JUST WHEN T LEFT A MESSAGE. 
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MY SUPER BURRITO TODAY BUT OF COURSE WE DIDN'T.

HE HAD TO GO TO THE BANK SO AT VF HE SUGGESTED THE FOOD COURT.  I LIKE PANDA EXPRESS.  I CAN ALWAYS GO TO SUNNYVALE SUPER TAQ ON MY OWN.  WE WALKED ALL OVER VF.  I LIKE WALKING NOW. 

SO HE COPIED MY CDL FOR THE H2O TAX EXEMPTION AND PRINTED OUT THE IRS FORM 8962 FOR MY MEDICAL COVERAGE. 

I'M AT THE LIBRARY TO READ 18 PAGES OF 8962 INSTRUCTIONS. 

RAN INTO ELLAMAE IN THE BOOKSTORE 1:38.  SHE FORGOT ST JUSTIN.  I TOLD HER TO TRY, THEY MIGHT STILL HAVE FOOD LEFT. 

I TRIED GETTING MY RECORDS FROM COVERED CAL FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR TRYING TO LOG IN TO FIND MY RECORDS MYSELF.  IT'S ONLY FOR NEW ACCTS. 

KAISER WAS SUPPOSED TO FILL OUT FORM 1095A AND SENT ME A LETTER INSTEAD.  I'LL TRY FAXING IT WITH A COVER LETTER.  IF ERIC HAS A FAXER. 

OTHERWISE I'LL MAKE AN APPT IN SAN JOSE.  MAYBE I'LL MAKE THE APPT ANYWAY.  I CAN ALWAYS CANCEL. 

walking is actually fun

I WENT TO COSTCO FOR GAS 6:30 AM AND THEN ONTO GYM-HOT TUB, AND SRS.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I HAD A GOOD TIME WALKING TO THE POST OFFICE TO FINALLY MAIL AUNTY'S CARD AND ON TO THE LIBRARY TO DROP OFF THE DVDS.

LUNCH WAS OK.  I PASSED ON EXTRA TO AVOID PACKING.

I WENT TO WESTERN DENTAL EARLY 1 PM AND THEY TOOK ME RIGHT AWAY.  NO NOVOCAIN SO IT HURT A LITTLE BUT IT WAS OK.  THE TECHS ARE SO YOUNG AND CUTE.

GOT MY CROWN AND DONE BY TWO.  TOOK AN HOUR TO CEMENT AND FIT THE TOOTH.

T MUST BE AT WORK.  I'M AT THE LIBRARY.  SRS STILL DOING TAXES. 

I'M FEELING GIDDY I'M SO HAPPY. 

I MAY GO HOT TUB AGAIN.

I CAN.

FEELING UNDERSTANDABLY TIRED

ONCE AGAIN T LET ME DOWN.

1)HE TOOK DELLA AND STAR TO SUPERTAQ NITE B4.  2)I GOT JACK BOX TACOS.  ATE 6 THEY DIDN'T WANT ANY.  AND PANKO ONION RINGS.  3)THEY ARE SO CONDESCENDING AND DISRESPECTFUL.

SO I CARRY ON.

4)WEST DENT 5)TEXTED WRONG TIME.  6)THEY MUST HAVE CHANGED MY APPT WHEN THEY TRIED TO RESCHEDULE LAST WEEK.

7)STAYED ON HOLD 6 MIN.  HUNG UP, HAD LUNCH.  LET IT GO, LET IT GO.

8)CALLED AFTER LUNCH AND THE LITTLE MOIRA SNOT TOLD ME I WAS WRONG WHEN I KNOW I ENTERED THE APPT WHEN I WAS THERE LAST.  I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND LET IT GO.  SO I'M ON FOR 1:30.

THE LESSON, LET IT ALL GO.  TO LET GOD.

I AM LOVING THE HOT TUBBING.  SINCE THE CENTER IS CLOSED THIS WEEK I'M GOING TO SUNNYVALE 24.

DOING WHAT I WANT

AN UNKNOWN LUXURY TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT.  THE ONLY PROBLEM IS KNOWING WHAT THAT IS.

I HAVE AN UNLIMITED UNIVERSE TO EXPLORE.  I CAN GO SHOPPING, HOT TUB, PUZZLE, EAT, SLEEP, WATCH MOVIES, SEW, DRAW, PAINT, ANYTHING MY HEART DESIRES.

MY HEART'S BEEN SO TRAMPLED, KNOWING WHAT I DESIRE IS ALMOST A JOB.

I HAVE TO KEEP CHECKING IN WITH MYSELF.  I'M NOT USED TO IT.

I'M EXERCISING MY CHOICES.  A NEWLY WEIRD FEELING.

I'M PRACTICING NEW BEHAVIORS TO BE AND HAVE NEW.

OH, BE+HAVE.

WE DID GO TO SUPER BURRITO WEDNESDAY.  WE STARTED ON HIS TAXES.  TOOK 1 1/2 HRS TO PRINT THE FORMS NEEDED AND THEN WE ATE.  WE RETURNED BUT HE WAS DONE WORKING ON HIS TAXES FOR THE DAY SO WE WATCHED FUTURAMA AND I FELL ASLEEP UNTIL DELLA GOT BACK FROM GOING TO OAKLAND WITH THE GIRLS.

SPEECHLESS

YESTERDAY I WENT TO CUPERTINO TO PAY STEINMART, RETURN DVDS, AND I WENT TO 24HR HOT TUB.  10 MINUTES IS AS GOOD AS 30 ON A BIKE.  LOVED IT.  9-10.  LIBRARY AND THEN SHOPPING.  I THOUGHT I LOST 2 SFWY MONOPOLY TICKETS BUT I HAD PUT THEM AWAY.  I MUST BE MORE TIRED THAN I THOUGHT.


WORKED IN YARD THIS AM AND PLANNED ON ST JUSTIN'S SENIOR LUNCH.  K WAS THERE.  I IGNORED HIM.

THERE WAS LEFT OVER SO I GAVE IT TO KEVIN.

T CALLED DURING BINGO AND MR POUTY IS NOT ASWERING HIS PHONE. 

I THINK I FORGOT MY SUIT FOR THE HOT TUB.  I COULD ALWAYS GO AND GET IT.

HE WAS AT WORK.  WENT BY THE HOUSE.  STOPPED FOR SFWY MONOPOLY AND HE WAS AT CVS.  BOUGHT EASTER CANDY.  CHEAPER THAN SFWY.

LEFT CAR KEY IN TRUNK.  TOO TIRED TO DO MORE WITHOUT RISKING BIG ERROR.

WHAT JOY!!  TO RECOGNIZE MY LIMIT BEFORE OVERSTEPPING.

MY HEART IS STILL ON VACATION

YESTERDAY T CALLED AFTER LUNCH TO INVITE ME TO GO SUPER BURRITO.  3PM.  SO I GO AND DELLA'S COOKED BEEF ENCHILADAS.  YUM.  HE'S SOO WEIRD.  IN A NICE WAY.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY I WENT TO CHASE FOR DIRECT DEPOSIT.

MISSION CU IS A STAR ONE AFFILIATE SO I DEPOSITED THE CASH AND CHECK FROM X'S 30 YEAR BAD DREAM AND TYPICALLY THEY FAILED TO TELL ME ABOUT INTER-TRANSFERS AND THE 1 ROLLOVER IN 12 MONTH PERIOD CHANGE SO I JUST WILL HAVE TO PAY TAXES.

PATELCO DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT RESTRICTIONS EITHER.  HE DID TELL ME ABOUT TRANSFERS AFTER IT WAS TOO LATE.

HE DOES HAVE THE BEST RATES 2 PER CENT FOR 3 YEAR CD.

T CALLED TO GIVE ME TOMATO PLANT.  SO I JETTED OVER AND CAME BACK HERE TO SENIORS FOR SAFEWAY FORM TO REDEEM MONOPOLY TICKETS.

SO BUSY.

HAPPY ST. PAT'S

I SLEPT IN AND WATCHED WILL ROGERS 1934 DOUBTING THOMAS. I HAD SALADS AND SOUPS AND OATMEAL.

TODAY I'M AT THE SEASIDE BRANCH LIBRARY.  LOOKING FOR THRIFT STORES.

BY THE SEASIDE

WELL, I MADE IT TO MARINA DUNES AND I CAN SEE WHY I NEED TO BOOK A YEAR IN ADVANCE. 

THE RESORT IS SHARED WITH AN HOTEL, SANCTUARY.  NOT AS UPSCALE AS ANGEL'S CAMP BUT THE AREA IS AMAZING. 

I WOULDN'T MIND LIVING HERE.  A WANTED ME TO LIVE IN SANTA CRUZ FOR HER CONVENIENCE BUT I CAN SO SEE MYSELF HAPPY HERE.

THE AREA IS WIDE OPEN.  GREEN.  CALM.

ANGRY SUSAN

I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THE ARBITRARY VIOLENCE EVERY WEEK IN THE NEWS. 

YESTERDAY AN OLD WHITE BITCH AT THE SENIORS CLAIMED MY STATIONARY BICYCLE.  TOOK IT WHEN I WENT TO CHECK AT THE DESK.  THERE WERE THREE EMPTY CHAIRS BUT SHE WANTED TO BE A BITCH.  I TOLD HER IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME A RACIST HAS LIED TO ME AND PROBABLY WON'T BE THE LAST BUT SHE WON'T DO IT TO ME AGAIN.

I PRAYED FOR HER FOR 45 MINUTES.  I STRETCHED AND LAST NIGHT COULDN'T SLEEP.  OVERDID IT.  OVERPRAYED?

KEMO IS IN THE HOSPITAL.  HE'S BEEN GONE MOST OF THIS MONTH.  I KIND OF WONDERED WHERE HE WAS WHEN I WENT TO ST. JUSTIN.  HARRIET INVITED ME AND I SAW SOPHIA TOO. 

I LOVE WATCHING THE SILLY THINGS PEOPLE DO. 

TODAY I ALMOST FORGOT TO GO TO LUNCH BECAUSE I FINISHED THE PUZZLE AND WATCHED PEOPLE.  WHAT'S HER NAME SHOWED UP.  "GOOD MORNING","GOOD MORNING" AND THAT WAS IT.  HOORAY!!!

CAREMORE@ATHERTON LOCALE

THIS MONTH STARTS MY NEW LIFE EVEN THOUGH I SAW A AT CHASE BANK ON SAT. 2.  SHE SPOKE TO ME AND IT SHOOK ME.

MARIA OLVERA DIED SAT 1-9.  I WENT TO THE MEMORIAL SAT 22.  IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN IT'S A FRIEND.

SO I'VE BEEN PAMPERING MYSELF.  TRIPS TO ST. JUSTIN AND SHOPPING.

I ORDERED ONLINE FROM LUCKY VITES AND GSL FOR MY HERBS AND XYLITOL.

TODAY I GO IN FOR MY SMART START FOR MEDICARE.

WE'LL SEE.

MORE FREE BEES

SAVEMART SALAD

MORE CHILI'S KIDS MEAL

I THANK GOD I'M STILL AROUND TO ENJOY THE GIFTS.

I DREAMED WHILE LIVING IN GILROY OF A MOUND OF GIFTS.  WHITE TISSUE PAPER WRAPPING WITH PINK AND GREEN RIBBONS.  BEHIND THE BATHROOM DOOR THE TUB WAS GONE AND THERE WAS BEIGE CARPET.

I JUST REALIZED I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD, GIFT.

I'VE WORKED FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE.

I'VE ALWAYS GIVEN AND DONE MORE THAN I'VE GOTTEN.

HAPPIEST NEW YEAR'S YET-Despite Dragonlady

DID NOTHING AND YET EVERYTHING I WANTED.  ARTHUR INVITED ME TO HIS JAPANESE AUNTIE'S HOUSE AND I DECLINED.  HE DIDN'T SAY IT WAS AMERICAN FOOD.  ZONI AT NIGHT.  AND LEFTOVERS FROM CHRISTMAS. 


TOMAS CALLED TWO DAYS B4 TO SAY NEW YEAR'S EVE POW WOW CANCELLED.  HE WAS DISAPPOINTED, I FORGOT. 


SO I SAW AIL ON SATURDAY 1-2 AFTER EXERCISING.  I WENT TO CHASE BANK TO PAY BILLS AND SHE PULLED INTO THE RIGHT SIDE PARKING SPACE.  I DIDN'T NOTICE HER BEIGE TOYOTA SUV UNTIL SHE SAID HAPPY NEW YEAR SUSAN.  SHE ACTUALLY CALLED ME SUSAN, NOT SUE OR STU(PID). 


MAYBE THERE'S HOPE FOR THE WORLD.  NONE FOR HER.


LUCY IS STILL HER OBNOXIOUS SELF.  ACCENT ON NOXIOUS. 


HELENE AND ARTHUR AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE DOESN'T LIKE OR TRUST HER. 


I'VE DONE MY DUTY.  I CAN PLAY NOW.