wracked with pain

i know better i need to do better.  taking care of myself.  driving to seniors the air had little oxygen trees hadn't woke up.  air is full of fires No cal and Oregon.  

i'm being forced to rest.  standing to puzzle makes me sick.  i couldn't eat lunch.  stomach too upset like 2003 when unable to eat or drink twice ended up in emergency hooked up to saline drip.  legs and back 1972 when i wore support hose my legs hurt so badly.  i was taking 3 scalding baths a day to ease the aching.  

the air was better 6:30 home by 7.  i took my time ate lunch, omelet, cake.  

found life ins wrote ready for tomorrow.  

a new leaf-ice cream social

i asked about the huckleberry ice cream jess gave me a sample and it was like blueberry.  oh, well.  

sophia gave me cake, bread 2 ham cheese sandwiches, 2 vienna sausages.  i gave sidney only wanted 1 sandwich.  she kept chips.  she tried to give me milk and veg i took eggs.  

93 degrees i came to central to shelter my car.  my feet so swollen i look like baby feet.  i like them better than bony.  cuter.  left side is way more swollen.  5 pm still 93 degrees i'm getting hungry.  

i'm feeling the universe is supporting me.  i started playing on central coffee puzzle sorted edge was boring i rested and 2 hijab women did the edge.  hurrah!!  

an hour 'til close and 91 degrees.  

up and atom

 took my time seniors 8 am.  swam lunched saw carole allen.  got her news letter.  

glorious-the importance of being earnest

swam and planned day.  lunch fish with raw onions in mango salsa too fresh.  rice w/stewed tomatoes dry i liked it.  newbie guy earnest hadn't been 10 years.  like a huge cat.  quietly sneaked up behind me in lunch line.  independent and thanked me for answering his questions warm dry handshake.  new menus missing a lot.  oh, well.  jessica back from vacation.

1 pm parked cup favorite shade tree.  supposed to get hotter this week so today it is.  cup 2 degrees hotter seems like 10.  teen area cooler than adults with foot rest.  tina book due yesterday cutie let me check in and check out.  found new author in sale books.  i can borrow from the city.  sarah lacy.  

my nails are growing so quickly i have to trim them every 2 weeks.  i'm getting healthy.

up at 7:30

first thing i plugged in chrome 1 %.  i had yesterday sandwich i cut into 4ths easier to eat psychologically.  i regained my yahoo mail settings after twice getting phone code and figuring how and where to enter.  new action.  brain stretch.  i start to panic, calm myself and success.

both copies tina county and sunny due today.  tackle sunny.  picked up free pretzels safeway @ maria i asked the right person and clearance everything cornbread $3.50.  

lucky's i bought 2 clearance cobb salads 98 cents with reward dollar.  tygj.

swam perfection

saw brian a little bit.   i'm already missing him starts school monday.  special relationship.  course in miracles.  i feel like his mom.

walked safeway looking for fun.  st just potatoes carrots gal insisted i get lunch.  i already brought green salad and sprouts sandwich.  2 for later.  yogurt, bagels.  lots of cookies.  sid gave me snacks too.  i'm set for tomorrow too.

today's my 51st anniversary.  all my chronic pain 1972 back injury.  bubbling up.

a little anxiety

life is going well.  still new i'm getting accustomed.  loaded picked up free lucky's jarrito pineapple soda delicious.  

first time in 25 years i felt like singing.

 i'm making my life a musical comedy.  

23

i have a date w/ brian 1265 manchester off monroe.  5 pm pizza and movie?  or jeopardy and wheel.  he figures 2 hours to make pizza from scratch but 93 degrees should be faster. 

best pizza from bread maker.  he cooked sauce, caramelized onions, chiffonaded basil, spinach, lots of 2 cheeses.  so delicious.  watched jeopardy and wheel.

ok it worked

1) i opened the page as a draft and it's good.  2) and i can refill flip caps.  making my life better in small steps.  and hot spot is ready city.  went checked out safeway clearance cornbread not as good as sprouts but i did get 2 bags bacon bits sprouts clearance 99 cents ea this morning after walmart.  only sunny sprouts sells cornbread by the lb.

i finally paid pge gas.  i think i have to check citibank now.  seems my payment last month was added to bill instead of subtracted.  i'm feeling resentful i have to fix it.

auto update is working on both blogs.  huh.  i'm feeling so sad.  let down from caffeine.

cornbread so good whole kernels.  

21-pay discover

pay discover.  not eating imbalance blood sugar sight blurry.  sister alien =boxer dog.

i have brown rice smoked salmon.  cats are obligate carnivores needing meat per pch quiz.  i'm a cat.

cup library-yesterday's post disappeared-wow

if i knew what i was doing i might be dangerous.  i arrived at 10 am and parked in shade 'til noon.  auto update is working.  thinking of going to sunny although i don't know why.  habit i suppose.  or puzzles.

my neck has been so stiff and sore for the last 6 months.  bart insists on throwing trash into recycle.  i'm feeling irritated.  practicing forgiveness.

i can't decide on lunch.  i looked panera finally remembering cup location nothing appealing.  i tried whole foods.  i want a can of beans and eat like a hobo.  i'm feeling un housed.  

noon i still don't know.  i need to move.  i'm feeling restless and my new dedication to listening to my body.  

eating at arby's would be for mom and dad.  nothing appeals to me.  i do love my shampoo but i cant eat it.  maybe i'll drive to whole foods city later.

i've been thinking about when i lived cup via vico.  i've blanked most of it.  just before sacrificing my life for the family.  shivers.

i can keep dry protein powder in small bottles to add liquid for instant lunch.  brilliant.

epiphany-i never realized how much i hated the phone because of the family calling, demanding whatever.  the only time they called.  checking up harassing.  

4 pm 93 degrees it's getting hotter despite the blowing breeze.  i don't know.  2 degrees cooler home.

i don't care

i loaded picked up free energy drink @ lucky's using their wireless.  seniors.  i debated paying pge.  i'll wait, went late 9 am.   lunch ok lord of rings puzzle surprising.  no 2 pieces the same.  similar but wow.  the colors change.  the shapes very odd.  the border the hardest.  

bingo!!  it's perfect.  mon-thurs and sat pool, fridays bingo.  something to motivate me.  i'm so bored with paying bills being the good responsible one.

i'm even bored without hot spot.  i just don't care.  a symptom of depression.  i don't care.

feeling happier

i felt sad last night.  i connected the fridge with alien, when it dies she dies after trying to steal it when she moved out 2003.  i'm just missing my terrible sisters, i still love them we share dna.  

chrome ran shut down lost all settings.  oh, well.  i'm calmer not feeling frustrated.  

i don't know if francine is aware how she's self soothing by talking non stop.  i've worked very hard to change.

omg!  my homemade omelet sandwich with b+b pickles so good my 2:50 snack.  i gave toki my mandarin cup.  i got every orphan jelly jam for my sweet.  listening to healing, legs up on couch.  i have lunch potatoes garlic spinach for tomorrow b'fast omelet. i cut my lip on cookie spatula i used to section omelet.  i licked cream cheese.  

reo speedwagon 'i can't fight this feeling anymore' one of my karaoke go to songs playing on public address.  heaven.

2's day

after lunch bought bingo sack lunch for dinner.  looked at 2 calendars 2 games.  i completely forgot seniors close @ 3 pm.  93 degrees decided me to under main.  i considered 6 miles to sunny or 2 central.  underground parking 85 degree cinched it.

left 5:30 much better.

seniors

stom-ache from 2 lbs cherries or 3 hot dogs maybe.  at half p b for b'fast.  swimming helped.  stomach and back feel connected for a first.  

found a new program on the tube 'genie down under'.  90 degree heat i'm cool.  home 4:30 82 degrees.  

lucky13

showered and 24 wi-fi remembered echo church block party at 10:15 stopped at yard sale.  went to 11 am service.  ate hot dog and nachos.  considered soda got bag of chips.  went for another hot dog she asked 2 and i thought she was saying my second but she gave me 2 more.  i put on all fixings got in car embarrassed.

came to sunny frustrated by road closures.  organized for tomorrow.  before i had time to get bored it was 1.  i finished puzzle from yesterday.  trashed while i ate 2 hot outside on patio.  worked on another.  home 5:30.

swam and relaxed

look up 'colonia' movie ch 36 1-3.  i caught last few minutes home from seniors and st just pantry pick up and library 2 hour puzzle.  ate leftovers and apple at seniors.  

pantry no meat or tofu just eggs, 2 cans tuna.  unusual.  so no pressure.  i put everything away expeditiously.  

went to bed 8 woke 4 am very calm rested.  

lots of leftovers

i picked up freebie from lucky's wireless fidelity.  seniors showered and puzzles.  lunch quarter chicken for a change.  hot pickled beets.  gloria got 1 and gave me hers.  i got 2 noodles before and after.  i don't understand alex not having container.  

discretion being the better part of valor i'm keeping toddler buddha belly to myself.  

inge reminded me bingo!  or i would have run off to sunny lib to return book due yesterday.

won $5 snack bar.  

doing due diligence

 i love being on permanent vacation.  i'm not retired.  i don't care i'm old.  

no charge left on chrome. 1 per cent

i don't know.  it's a mystery to me.  you tube i finally figured out to load 7 times each.  most effective for reprogram.

people are selling unicorn meat and armadillo milk online.  this is one crazy planet.  

twos day- johnny williams

music to how to steal a million audrey hepburn, peter o'toole.  johnny williams is john.  i'm loving being free from attachments and compulsions.  seniors puzzle wood seascape.

78 degrees main puzzle balloons.  i'm wearing my freshly washed raw silk shift.  

i tossed wrong page, eh

new behaviors.  to be new and manifest new.  

i returned hot spot to sunny yesterday and opened 2 pages to blog.  i'm no longer blog compulsive.   and pages stayed open even disconnected.  

so today i slept 'til 7, arrived seniors 9, swam hour & half, puzzled, relaxed.  after lunch finished puzzle all caught up.  i'm determined to exercise my left side balancing muscles.  driving a car is repetitive stress to the right side.  the wrong side.  i can do left leg exercises.  gently does it.  

my hair is still wet 4 hours after swimming.  seniors open late i could swim again.  88 degree day.  

i have built in filter coffee cup for cold brew proffee; protein coffee guaranteed weight loss.  i know filter works.  i need to steep overnight.  

90 degrees now.  

a very merry un birthday

showered lucky gym, too soon b king lunch i laundered and walked to pay citibank.  i'm so excellent. bought chick sticks ate all medium fries.  took 'til 11 to fold and sort laundry.  a lot clothes from st just.  sat feet up cup library #1 spot 'til 12:30.  sunny library 91 degrees in shade behind library all business offices gone.

4:30 pm wind is cooling 91 degree weather.  i'm snacking cherries so good.  says 88 feels cooler with breeze.  i'm borrowing 1957 julie andrews tv cinderella and jack giant killer.  

i hung clothes, i love clean clothes.  as a child i had to put up with step sisters stealing my clean clothes and leaving things dirty.  no more hurray!  easy peasy.  

dw free

i swam and puzzled considered laundry not today.  st j no.  maybe library.  when i get into car i'll decide.

library it is.  

my health is top priority

after lying in bed unable to sit in a chair for 8 years, people i see choosing to do nothing but complain and criticize i avoid.  i have better things to use my energy.

i want love

i deserve love.  we all do.  i didn't have kids i couldn't guarantee loving every moment.  i knew i didn't have love in my life.  while any attention is sufficient only love raises healthy people.  growing up i had no examples to learn from.   

took a week to recover from kiwi

i swam 2 hours, yoga the last hour.  so nice to feel weightless.  i was so hungry used coupon for bag lunch, ate potato salad and half sandwich.  saved hot lunch.  after lunch i felt good at 3 pm i did banking.  chase, merry, sprouts specials rye bread, apple turnovers salad mix.  10 minute line at chase only one teller, 2 tellers at merry still 3 in line, sprouts smooth sailing.

feel like i turned a corner

new page in my book.  still tense i consciously relax my shoulders.  that's where my neck pain comes from, my constant exhaustion.  takes a lot of energy to constantly be on the alert.