REMINGTON STEEL MARATHON

GOOD DAY.  STARTED OFF CATHARTIC DREAMS OF MITZI-MOM ASSAULTING ME WITH SHEARS, SCISSORS, CHAIN SAW I AVOID, CALL POLICE, THEY TAKE HER AWAY.

I TOOK MY TIME GOING TO DOLLAR TREE.  SENIORS WAS OK.  I FINISHED EARLY AND CONSIDERED GOING TO LUCKY'S FOR FREEBIE.  I DECIDED NOT ENOUGH TIME DROVE TO SAN JOSE 10 MINUTES SO I WAS 45 MINUTES EARLY.  I DROVE AROUND SJSU PAST MY OLD 10TH STREET APARTMENT.  THEN I CONTINUED PAST ERIC'S SHOP NOW AN EMPTY LOT.  I GOT TO THE PARKING LOT 10 MINUTES TO FIND A SPACE.  I CHECKED INTO AARP CAREVERSATIONS.  GOOD FOOD.  STUFFED MUSHROOMS, CHICKEN BITES, FRUIT AND VEGGIES, SPINACH DIP, FRESH CORN CHIPS.  I HAD PINEAPPLE, HONEYDEW. CELERY.  ALL THE THINGS I LIKED NOTHING I DIDN'T WANT.  I LOVE A GOOD BUFFET. 

LEARNED AND SHARED A LOT.  I GOT TO PRACTICE ASSERTIVENESS.  DOMINI TRIED TO BULLY ME AND I DIDN'T TAKE THE BAIT.  SHE SUGGESTED WE ALL GET TOGETHER NEXT THURSDAY.  SHE LIVES VALLEY VILLAGE.  SHE DOMINATES CHERI.  EVERYONE MADE CHERI FEEL SHE NEEDS TO DO MORE WHEN SHE'S ALREADY OVERWHELMED TAKING CARE OF HER CANCER COLOSTOMY MOTHER AND DEMENTIA FATHER.  I SET THEM STRAIGHT.  AARP HAS LOTS OF RESOURCES LISTED.  NO ONE WANTED MORE TO DO.

I FELT GOOD 3 WHEN WE WRAPPED UP.  I WENT VIA SAN CARLOS TOWARD LUCKY'S AND STOPPED AT 99 CENT STORE FOR CELERY, LETTUCE, MOUTH WASH.  ON TO SARATOGA LUCKY'S NO SODA.  ON TO LAWRENCE FREE PEPSI, CHICKEN CORDON BLUE, COUPON COTTAGE CHEESE.  YUM. 

HOME I STILL FEEL GOOD.  BEEF LO MEIN.  I SORTED VITAMINS, READIED DVD FOR CUPERTINO RETURNS.  I MAY CHECK ST JUSTIN TOMORROW TOO.

beef lo mein

LUNCH WAS PRETTY GOOD.  NOT ENOUGH VEGGIES FOR ME BUT OK. 

I PREFER EXERCISING AFTERNOONS.  IT'S QUIETER AND LESS CROWDED.  SUMMER IT WILL BE BETTER TO BE COOLED DOWN BEFORE RUNNING AROUND.  I ALWAYS FEEL MORE ENERGY AFTER EXERCISE. 

I WENT TO CENTRAL AT 4, PICKED UP HOLDS, ATE DINNER AND GOT HOME 5;50 IN TIME FOR SUPERMARKET SWEEP BONUS.  I LIKE DRIVING COMFORTABLY FULL.  I'VE SPENT SO MUCH OF MY LIFE HUNGRY I THOUGHT IT WAS NORMAL TO BE HUNGRY. 

rested

I LEFT 7;50 REMEMBERED I NEEDED FILL UP THEN ON TO RECYCLE $14.24.  I TOOK INGE 39 GAL GARBAGE BAGS & BINDER CLIP. 

LUNCH CREAM TUNA I HAD FOR DINNER TOO AT SENIORS.  I LOVE DRIVING HOME FULL TUMMY.  I PUZZLED ALL DAY BEFORE AND AFTER EXERCISE.  I'M PLAYING.

I REMEMBERED TO COVER CHECK.  I'M FEELING SO RELAXED.  I SOMETIMES STRESS AT NIGHT WAKING UP AND I'M DOING BETTER DEALING.

best

I woke early 5;30 and considered my options.  i got to seniors 8;08 last parking place.  I love going when it's light and warm.  Today it's warm like summer.  Tomorrow gas and recycle.  I picked up cans and bottles at Inge's.  I came straight home with 4 milk. 

I got meal and chicken and side salad.  Alex gave me lettuce from his sandwich I had great dinner.  I parked in driveway to load my recycle.  I might move it or leave it to wash dirty windows.

We'll see.

mercury retrograde

WEIRD THINGS SEEMING OUT OF SORTS.  I CAN'T DECIDE.  I WANT TO DO LAUNDRY AND RECYCLE AND IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.

feeling weird

mercury retrograde i don't know what i want to do.  everything looks slightly weird and new. 

ruth gave me 17 game pieces.  rivermark.  i'll redeem there.

zombies

JUDY SHOWED HER TRUE COLORS.  SHE WANTED ICE CREAM FILIPINAS GAVE US, CAME OVER TO THE TABLE HANGING AROUND LIKE A BABY.  WHEN SHE DIDN'T GET ANY SHE GAVE LEFTOVERS TO MARILYN'S TABLE SAYING THEY NEVER WENT FIRST.  NOT MY PROBLEM THEY CHOOSE TO SIT THERE.  THEN SHE TRIES TO PRETEND IT WAS A MISTAKE SHE DIDN'T KNOW,  THEN WHY DID SHE TELL THEM THEY NEVER GO FIRST.  THEN SHE TELLS ME TO COMPLAIN TO JESSICA.  I TOLD HER IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME SHE'S DONE IT AND I'M SURE IT WON'T BE THE LAST.  IT'S AN OBSERVATION WHEN GERDA COMPLAINED BEING LAST.

JUDY WAS ALWAYS PRESSURING ME TO VOLUNTEER WITH HER.  YEAH, RIGHT I DON'T NEED HER MANIPULATIONS.  I SET ASIDE MY PORTION OF ICE CREAM TO GIVE TO HER UNTIL SHE PULLED THAT.  THEN I ATE IT.

SHE'S DEAD TO ME.

WALTER SHOWED

st j grand opening

I went to Arques to shower and was going u turn but not allowed so I went to Benton and cut across.  I got to St Justin quarter to and thought I was late with door open 'til I saw red tape for ribbon cutting.  No donuts, cookies yucky.

I found aloha shirt and 2 Gryffindor notepads $6 total.  I thought of giving one to Art then remembered he can't see.  Done by 10;30.  I checked computer half hour and then home to leftover salmon mac cheese lentils.  Ooh, I have cooked bacon for dinner with mac lentil.  So I'm home puttering around.  I'm moving bottled water Cathy gave me from garage to indoors a little at a time.  I wonder why she had 4 cases.  i gave one case to Inge and still have one and a half. 

Yesterday was George's birthday.  He died 12/21/2008, throat cancer.  He died 3 years after retiring.  Ex had only 2 years 'til heart attack.

I made cornbread with bacon and corn salsa from senior lunch in microwave.  Saves so much energy.

SITTING OUTSIDE SENIORS

I'M HAVING MORE FUN.  I GOT 20 MONOPOLY TICKETS YESTERDAY.  SATIFIED MY KETTLE CHIP CRAVING 4/$5 FRIDAY.

I GOT HERE EARLY.  LAST NIGHT I WAS SO TIRED AND THEN FIGURED I'D BEEN UP 17 HOURS.  OK.TIME TO REST AND I DID.  FIRST 3 SEASONS OF BECKER PLAYED DURING THE HORRIBLE 1998-99.  AND NOW IT'S GETTING ME THROUGH MY RECOVERY.  20 YEARS.  TWO AVOCADO TREES.  TAKES 10 YEARS TO FRUIT.

MAYBE I'LL USE TARGET FOR LUNCH AND PAY BILL.
                              *****************
I DID.  I ATE MY SALAD ON GIFT CARD.  PAID BILL.

WHEN I CHECKED IN AND OUT NEW LIBRARIAN RESET THE CHROME AND I LOST ALL MY SETTINGS.  IT TAKES IMAGINATION AND COURAGE TO REDO IT ALL.  TO LIVE LIFE.

I CAME HOME WHEN I STARTED TO FALL ASLEEP AT THE LIBRARY.  ST JUSTIN
$5 I FOUND NEW MARY KAY SHAMPOO AND OLD BUTTERFLY ENAMEL PIN/PENDANT.  TOMORROW PROMISED DONUTS.  IF THE HILO HATTIE HAWAII SHIRT 3X IS STILL THERE IT'S MINE.

I FIXED SALMON, MAC CHEESE, LENTILS.  DELICIOUS.

ALL RIGHT

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO MY WEEKEND.  ALL DAYS HAVE BEEN THE SAME HAVING WORKED RETAIL SINCE MY JUNIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL.  I ALWAYS WORKED WEEKENDS.  BEFORE THAT BABYSITTING, CLEANING HOUSES, IRONING TO BUY MY CLOTHES, UNDERWEAR, BOOKS.  MY SISTERS WERE GIVEN MONEY.

AND VACATIONS WERE RUINED BY MY FAMILY GOING BACK TO HAWAII EVERY FOUR YEARS LIKE IMMIGRANTS HAULING CARDBOARD BOXES TIED WITH ROPES AND STRINGS.  I HATED WALKING ACROSS THE TARMAC LOADED LIKE A PACK ANIMAL, CLIMBING UP THE STEPS TO PROPELLER PLANES, LATER JETS.  THEN WE HAD TO STAY WITH RELATIVES WITHOUT AIR COOLING AND ONE BATHROOM FOR EVERYONE AND NEVER ENOUGH ROOM.  LIVING LIKE SARDINES.  

TRIPS WERE BY CRAMPED CAR WITH RELATIVES STAYING WITH US.  I REMEMBER THE HORROR OF DRIVING TO YOSEMITE GETTING OUT OF THE CAR FOR 20 MINUTES, PILING BACK IN AND DRIVING HOME IN ONE DAY.  FISHING, CLAMMING, SQUIDDING TRIPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE FREEZING COLD.  

OR MOM AND DAD PUT US ON THE BUS TO LA TO STAY WITH COUSIN AMY.  8 HOURS STOPPING AT DIFFERENT PLACES FOR 10-15 MINUTES.  

MY LIFE WAS A MISERY.

home again

I FORGOT THURSDAYS ARE MONK MARATHON.  THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT WEEK.  TONIGHT IS CBS COMEDY NIGHT.

I TALKED TO THREE LITTLE GIRLS FROM SCU.  TWO OF THEM ARE VERY SHELTERED. 

GOOD DAY.  I COMPUTED AFTER EXERCISE AND LUNCH SANS INGE.  I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE INFLUENCE OF ROSE OVER GERDA.,  I UNDERSTAND HOW ROSE GAVE HER DAUGHTER CANCER, SHE'S SO ANNOYING, IRRITATING MADDENING.

I'M MS. MELLOW.

progress

NOT PERFECTION.  MAYBE PROGRESS IS PERFECTION.  ORDINARY DAY.

I FORGOT CHROME AT HOME AND PUZZLED  TO MY HEART'S CONTENT.

TOKI GAVE ME 4 NEW PIECES.  MARILYN GAVE ME 4 USED CODE SECTIONS.   I'M UP TO 46 POINTS.  250 IS 25 DOLLAR GIFT CARD.

tossing turning

WOKE 12;30 AM DREAM OF JUDY/JULIE IN SOUTH SAN JOSE HOME.  I WAS DRIVING AROUND AND DROPPED IN.  I WATCHED BECKER DVD AND WAS ABLE TO GET BACK TO SLEEP.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.  MY BODY WON'T LET ME.  OR MY BODY DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.

I WENT TO SENIORS REMEMBERING TAXES TUESDAYS THURSDAYS.  GOT THERE 8;45.  PUZZLED ALL MORNING FINISHING THE FLOWERS.  LUNCH WAS LITTLE AND FATTY.  NO LEFT OVERS.  I REMEMBERED TO PAY DISCOVER.  I EXERCISED AND WANTED TO PUZZLE BUT TABLE FULL SO I COMPUTED.  I DID MY QUIZZES, POP POP, EMAILS.

I WENT TO BURGER KING 2/1 WHOPPERS AND DOLLAR STORE SUBSTITUTES OF STAXX, CORNCHIPS, CONES, VIT D.  HOME I ATE BOTH BURGERS AND CONES.  DELICIOUS.  TYGJ.

BECKER AND NICOTINE GUM

I'M LIVING BETTER.  NOT SMOKING IS NO LONGER A BIG DEAL.  AFTER WATCHING THE 1999 SECOND SEASON SECOND DISC I REALIZED ABOUT THE TIME OF DAD'S DEATH.

1998 THE FIRST YEAR OF BECKER WHEN DAD FRACTURED HIS SPINE.  THE CHARACTER IS A COMPLAINING RANTING KNOW IT ALL LIKE DAD.

IN AUGUST '89 I MOVED HOME TO ATTEND TO DAD'S PROSTATE CANCER.  HE FORCED MOM TO GIVE UP HER CAR AND DRIVING PRIVILEGES WHICH SHE WAS HAPPY TO DO AFTER HE INSISTED SHE RETIRE THE YEAR AFTER HE DID 1985-86.  MOM NEVER DID ANYTHING SHE DIDN'T WANT.  SHE WANTED A VEGETABLE GARDEN WHICH DAD DIDN'T APPROVE OF BUT MOM DID HERSELF AFTER I MOVED HOME.  DAD HORNED IN AFTER COMPLAINING SO HE COULD TAKE CREDIT.

THEY INSISTED ON 7 AM APPOINTMENTS.

'90 COLON CANCER.  DIABETES INSULIN SHOTS TWICE A DAY LED TO CIRCULATION PROBLEMS AND WOUND CARE 3 TIMES A WEEK FOR A GASH ON HIS SHIN THAT TOOK FOUR MONTHS.  THEN THERE WAS THE NOSE BLEED FROM LONG TIME USE OF CUMADIN FOR A THICK BLOOD CONDITION BECAUSE DAD REFUSED TO DRINK WATER.  COFFEE TEA SODA.  HE HAD A BRAIN BLEED SO BACK TO EMERGENCY.  I WAS AFRAID IT WAS A STROKE.  UP TO REDWOOD CITY KAISER FOR BRAIN SURGERY.

HE STARTED EATING FRESH VEGETABLES FROM THE GARDEN AND WENT BACK ON ORAL MEDS.  DOCTOR SAID ONLY 3 PATIENTS EVER IN HIS EXPERIENCE.  MOM TRIED TO GET HIM TO GO TO MY HEALTH CLUB TO EXERCISE.  SHE JOINED THE FIRST TIME I TOOK HER.  HE SAT IN THE CAR WAITING FOR HER.

HE STARTED FALLING SO HE STARTED EXERCISING AND GOING GAMBLING AGAIN WITH SENIOR OVERNIGHT TRIPS.  THEY'D BEEN GOING 3-4 TIMES A MONTH WHEN I FIRST MOVED HOME AND STOPPED DAD'S SECOND CANCER SCARE.  ALL FOUR GRANDPARENTS HAD IT.  DAD COMPLAINED ABOUT THE STUFF MOM TOOK SO MITZI GOT THEM SMALLER MATCHING DUFFEL BAGS SO MOM COULD CARRY HER OWN STUFF.   DAD STILL CARRIED ONE HUGE BAG FOR THE FREE GAMBLING KEY RINGS, DECKS OF CARDS, PENS AND DOZENS OF BOTTLES OF WATER HE DIDN'T EVEN DRINK.  THEY SAVED ALL THIS JUNK.

1998 DESPITE THE WARNINGS HE PUT THE BAG ON THE ESCALATOR HANDRAIL AND FELL BACKWARDS AT THE TOP NOT COMPENSATING FOR THE DIFFERENCE IN SPEED WITH THE STEPS.  HE FRACTURED HIS SPINE REFUSED TO DO ANY OF THE THINGS KAISER RECOMMENDED AND ONLY LISTENED TO AILEEN.  SHE SNEAKED MOM TO TAHOE FOR A WEEKEND LEAVING ME TO DEAL WITH DAD.  AILEEN TALKED HIM INTO GOING TO ACUPUNCTURE AND HER CHIROPRACTOR SOUTH SAN JOSE.  AFTER ONE WEEK HE WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN HE DIED AT KAISER SUNDAY MORNING 8 AM.

DURING ALL THOSE YEARS I NEVER GOT TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAYS HOLIDAYS I HAD NO LIFE.  I GAVE UP MY LIFE FOR THEM.

I BAKED CORNBREAD AND BACON.  I'M LIVING AGAIN.  FOR BREAKFAST I MADE SALMON.

I FORGET

FRIDAY LOOKING FOR THE BOOK EVEN WITH MY BBACK BRACE I COULDN'T SLEEP 'TIL 3 AM SECOND NIGHT.  ONCE I STRETCH OUT MY BACK EVERY MORNING I FORGET AND OVERDO AND CAN'T SLEEP.  THEN I NAP.  I FALL ASLEEP EXHAUSTED NOT KNOWING HOW TIRED I AM.  I DON'T FEEL IT.

I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO ST JUSTIN.  AFTER EXERCISE AND FINDING 20 OZ CLEARANCE FROZEN SALMON I DECIDED TO GO READ COMICS AND WAIT.  I GOT THERE AND THRIFT STORE SOFT OPENED YESTERDAY.  I LOOKED AROUND NEW STORE FRESH PAINT HALF THE SIZE.  DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING.  GRAND OPEN NEXT SUNDAY. 

LUNCH WAS GOOD.  MEATLOAF BAKED RUSSET FRIES CEASAR SALAD ROLL.  SOPHIA ASKED ABOUT GRACIE.  AS I WAS LEAVING GRACIE WAS LOADING A BUNCH OF PURCHASES INTO JOHN'S VAN TO TAKE HOME.  SHE'S LOOKING GOOD. 

I DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT HER HORRIBLE USER PETER CALLING HER CRAZY.  ONLY THE FACT SHE PUTS UP WITH HIM.

let go

LET GOD.  I'M SITTING WAITING IN FRONT OF SENIORS.

MAYBE SUNNYVALE

IF VAL HADN'T DISSED ME I WOULD HAVE GONE RUNNING BACK.  I'M GLAD I WENT TO SUNNYVALE.  SENIOR CENTER $28 MEMBER/YEAR.  WOOF.

I SCORED 3 WRIST WALLETS AND 2 RED RFID WALLETS WITH YEAR OF MOUSE.  I HAD FRUIT AND BIG MOIST CRISP P'NUT BUTTER COOKIES CHAMOMILE CITRUS TEA.

I REMEMBERED TO CHECK LIBRARY FOR COPY OF BOOK MISPLACED 4 DAYS.  I FEEL LIKE READING.  ALL OUT.  I RENEWED EXPIRED CARD W/O ID.  SMART LIBRARIAN.  DECIDED TO CLEAR OUT CAR SEARCHING FOR BOOK.  PULLED UP IN DRIVEWAY, OPENED GARAGE DOOR, UNLOADED BAGS FROM TRUNK ONTO BAKER'S RACK AND VOILA BOOK.

I STOPPED, PULLED CAR INTO STREET, CLOSED DOOR AND HAD LUNCH.  CHECKED FRIDAY FREEBIE 12 OZ COKE ENERGY.  LOTS OF AIR RECEPTION INTERFERENCE.

back on track

I HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT I WANT FOR DINNER.  NO LEFT OVERS. 

AND VALENTINES.  VALERIE REFUSED TO SAVE ME SANDWICH FRIDAY AND WENT INTO THE GETTING THE SENIOR CENTER IN TROUBLE LECTURE.  SO I'M ON MY OWN.

huh

doesn't duplicate.  I TRIED LANDLINE AT SENIOR COMPUTER AND IT WORKS DIFFERENTLY. 

I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED VALENTINES.  I FOUND THE WRECK IT RALPH AND FOUND THE THINKING OF YOU CARDS.  I LOOKED FOR CATHY'S ADDRESS IN MY PHONE AND I HADN'T  CHANGED IT SO I CALLED HER.  HER MOM DIED JAN 4.  HER SISTER BLAMES CATHY FOR HER MOM'S DEATH BY MOVING TO HAWAII.  FAMILIES ARE CRAZY. 

3 hr nap

I RESTED AND FELL ASLEEP.  WOKE NOT KNOWING IF NIGHT OR MORNING I WAS SO RELAXED.

I DROVE TO CAMPBELL AND PICKED UP 5 HOLDS.  I GUESS I WAS TIRED.

WE WERE FIRST ROW AT LUNCH AND GERDA ASKED ROSE TO GET CHICKEN FOR ART AND SHE HARSHLY SAID 'I'M NOT GETTING HIM CHICKEN.'  GERDA WAS SHOCKED I WASN'T.  ART WAS EMBARASSED.  HE GOT HIMSELF CHICKEN I GOT ROAST BEEF SANDWICH.

WHAT I WANT

I CAN GO TO CAMPBELL TO PICK UP 5 HOLDS OR STAY HOME AND WATCH DVD.

VALLEY VILLAGE

AT 8;40 I READ AND PUZZLED 'TIL 9.  I GOT FREE STUFF 3 TARNISHED SALAD, FISH, CAKE SCISSORS, WATER SNACK COMBO, NEW COCA COLA XMAS ORNAMENT,  DENTAL FLOSS.  FOR $3 I GOT NEW XL MAN'S HAWAIIAN SHRT, 4 NEW ROLEX DEMITASSE SPOONS, 9 DVDS.

THEN 10 I SWAM AND 11 WALTER WAS WAITING FOR ME.  HE'S STUCK AND SO AM I.  NOON I WENT TO MISSION TO CHARGE THE CHROME AND READ THE NEWSPAPER.  I GOT HOME 2 AND HEATED CHICKEN AND BROCCOLI, I ADDED TERIYAKI AND BALSAMIC.  SO GOOD.

I WORKED ON REMODELING CLOTHES.  FINALLY USED LAST GOOD EGG BEATEN INTO SPINACH AND TOPPED PARMESAN CHEESE.  DELICIOUS.  I MAY HAVE PUT WENDSLEYDALE CHEESE IN CAR.

I WATCHED ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN, SECRET OF NIMH, LOVE AMERICAN STYLE MARATHON.  HEAVENLY.

8 AM

AWOKE AFTER A RESTLESS NIGHT.  I LOOK FORWARD TO AN EPIPHANY.

MY EPIPHANY IS DREAD.  I WENT TO CENTRAL TO CHECK IN AND RENEW CHROME.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY MISSION RHINO RENEWED LAST WEEK INSTEAD OF CHECK IN-OUT.  I FOUND OUT FROM BEN LIBRARY CAN RENEW FOREVER MEANING I HAVE TO TAKE CHROME EVERY WEEK.  SUCH A BITCH.

I THINK ROSE'S HATRED OF ASIANS IS FROM LIVING IN HAWAII AS AN UPPITY 'PORTAGEE'.  HER LABEL FOR HERSELF.  I CAN'T IMAGINE SHE GETS ALONG WITH MANY PEOPLE.  GERDA AND INGE LIKE HER BECAUSE SHE GIVES THEM CASTOFFS.  SHE COMES AND GETS AN ALTERNATE MEAL SHE GIVES TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER. 

waiting

MY COUNTY REQUESTS ARE IN TRANSIT.  SATURDAY IS VALLEY VILLAGE JUMBLE SO MAYBE.  I'M RESTING AND DOING WHAT I WANT.

GERDA DIDN'T SIT NEXT TO ROSE MARIE.  SHE GETS THAT ROSE IS A MONEY HUNGRY SELFISH MANIPULATOR.  ROSE GAVE ELSIE MONEY TO PLAY BINGO WITH HER.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT ELSIE.  MAYBE BECAUSE ELSIE IS STUPIDER THAN ROSE.  ROSE CAN FEEL SMART BY COMPARISON.

LIVELY

FREEZING COLD AT NIGHT SO KITCHEN LIGHT WORKING.  I'M HAVING LOVELY TIME.  I ARRIVED 8;44 AND LOTS OF PARKING.

ART GAVE ME EXTRA CHICKEN.  I WANTED TACO SALAD MAYBE FRIDAY.  NO, WHIPPED POTATO.  TOMORROW PORK FRIED RICE.

I MADE MYSELF HOT CHOCOLATE.  I USED TO MAKE DAD AND ME HOT CHOCOLATE AND BUTTERED TOAST UNTIL AT 16 I HAD TO STUDY FOR AN IMPORTANT TEST AND MADE DAD HIS AND WENT TO STUDY.

THE NEXT MORNING I WENT INTO THE DINING ROOM AND MY FISH AND AQUARIUM WERE GONE.  10 GALLON TANK WITH FILTER AND LIGHT DISAPPEARED.  I ASKED MOM AND SHE TOLD ME DAD PUT IT OUTSIDE ON THE FREEZING PATIO.  HE GOT MAD I WAS STUDYING AND TRIED TO KILL MY FISH.  NOT A WORD TO ME. 

I FILLED A BOWL WITH WATER AND RESCUED MY FISH.  I HAD TO USE BOWLS TO EMPTY THE AQUARIUM TO BRING IT BACK IN THE HOUSE.  THAT'S WHEN I LEARNED I HAD RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS.  MY HANDS IN THE FREEZING WATER BECAME RED, SWOLLEN, USELESS.  I WAS IN EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL AGONY. 

I WAS DISAPPOINTED IN MOM FOR BEING TOO JEALOUS TO STAND UP FOR ME AND DAD FOR BEING SO CHILDISH AND DESTRUCTIVE.  I NEVER MADE HOT CHOCOLATE AND BUTTERED TOAST AGAIN. 

I REALIZED AGAIN NO MATTER WHAT I DID I WAS ALL ON MY OWN.

freezing cold

I'M SO GLAD I'VE BEEN GOING IN LATER.  I WAIT 'TIL IT'S WARMER AND EASIER TO DO THINGS, 8;45.  AFTER EXERCISE AND LUNCH AT SENIORS I WENT TO MISSION CREDIT UNION AND LUCKY'S SARATOGA BOUGHT K&N KABOBS AND WALKED TO CITIBANK TO PAY COSTCO. 

I GOT MY DISCOVER BILL AND $28 LATE FEE.  ELIJAH IN PHOENIX REMOVED AND EXPLAINED CHANGE IN FORMAT. 

COOKED 8.5 OZ KABOB 9 MINUTES MICROWAVE.  BUY ONE 5.69 GET TWO FREE.  TODAY LAST DAY.

did my banking

I'M DOING THE MINIMUM.  I ACTUALLY FELT LIKE GOING TO SENIORS.  WHEN I GOT THERE AT 9 THERE WERE HALF A DOZEN SPACES.  UNUSUAL FOR A MONDAY.  ROSE MARIE IS COMING EVERY DAY AND INGE WAS ABSENT.  SHE'S GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE SICK.  ALL SHE DOES IS COMPLAIN AND PLAY THE CRIPPLE CARD.  TODAY SHE WAS SAYING THE ORIENTALS HOG ALL THE MEN AT THE SENIOR DANCES.  SHE REALLY HATES US.

GERDA HAS KNOWN HER FOR A LONG TIME.  I'M SURPRISED SHE'S ONLY USING A WALKER.  ART GIVES ME LOOKS.  I HOPE ROSE DOESN'T MAKE HIM SICKER. 

I DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE CHOOSING TO FEEL BE SICK.

FRESH 'GUIDANCE' DAILY WORD

I'M TAKING IT SLOWLY.  I CAN DO THIS.

I LEFT 9;45 PLANNING TO GO DIRECTLY AND STOPPED AT ARQUES' 24 FOR SHOWER.

I DROVE STRAIGHT TO THE PHARMACY SIDE OF THE SUPER WALMART TAKING THE SECOND MC CARTHY' ROAD EXIT.  THE NUMBERS IN THE CATALOG HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ITEM.  AT FIRST I LOOKED AT EQUATE BRAND BACK BRACE BUT WHEN I TRIED TO CHECK BAR CODE I NOTICED IT WAS ACE BRAND ONLY ONE SO I LOOKED AND ENDED TAKING IT TO COUNTER.  CLERK SAID IT WASN'T RIGHT ONE AND I ASKED HER TO TRY PAYING WITH OTC CARD AND IT WORKED.  I ASKED ABOUT NICOTINE GUM AND SHE SAID IT WAS REGISTER 7.  NO PROBLEMS THERE.

 I DROVE DIRECTLY TO ST J.  GREAT CHROME RECEPTION.

NEW

BEGINNING OF MY LIFE.  I'M BINGE WATCHING HOT IN CLEVELAND. 

I THOUGHT ABOUT DOING MY BANKING.  I PAID HOME INSURANCE AND COVERED LIFE CHECK.  I CAN DO BANKING MONDAY. 

BEING BEDRIDDEN 8 YEARS I NEVER IMAGINED LAYING IN BED COULD BE FUN.  IT IS.