WE'LL SEE

I FORGOT TO CHARGE CHROME AND PHONE UNTIL AFTERNOON AND IT WAS GREAT.  I PUZZLED, STRETCHED, RELAXED.  THE OLD CHATTER CRITICAL, CONDEMNING IS FADING INTO BACKGROUND.  LAST NIGHT AFTER FLUSHING CLOGGED SINK I READ /BACKGROUND AFFIRMATION AND SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT THROUGH.

 3:30 @ mlib  I SAW HH AS I WAS LEAVING POOL AREA.  SHE STOPPED AT THE PUZZLE TABLE AS SHE WAS LEAVING AND GAVE ME A HUG.  TYGJ.

PRETTY LITTLE

HAPPY HANNAH (REAL NAME HANH).  I MET HER YESTERDAY IN THE LAP POOL AND TODAY AGAIN.  SHE HAS A 9 YR OLD DAUGHTER AND 6 YR OLD SON.  MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF HER LIFE.  SHE'S VIETNAMESE, VERY BRIGHT AND SELF-DEPRECATING.  SHE BELIEVES SHE'S LESS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW MORE ENGLISH.  I TOLD HER SHE KNOWS WAY MORE ENGLISH THAN I KNOW VIETNAMESE.  TRUE, I KNOW NONE.  SHE SAYS I'M NICE.  I'M NOT, I TOLD HER I'M KIND.  I TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY TREAT ME.  KIND=ALIKE.  AND I KNOW SINCERE FROM INSINCERE.  AUTHENTIC FROM INAUTHENTIC.  I SUGGESTED LEARNING ENGLISH WITH SUBTITLES FROM THE LIBRARY DVDS LIKE SNOW WHITE TO WATCH WITH HER KIDS.  SHE THANKS ME FOR TALKING TO HER.

MOST PEOPLE I DON'T BOTHER WITH BECAUSE OF THE POWER, ATTENTION HABITS THEY HAVE.  WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I PUT UP WITH THE SILLY ONES.  NO, SAYING THAT IS AN INSULT TO SILLY.  SILLY IS AN ART FORM LIKE HUMOR THAT DOESN'T SEEK TO DEMEAN OR MAKE LESS OF OTHER PEOPLE.  SOME PEOPLE SEEK TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES, PUFFING THEMSELVES UP BY PUTTING OTHERS DOWN.  CRITICIZING WHEN IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.  I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO IGNORE THEM OR CORRECT THEM.  OLD MAN LABELED ME GOOFY TRYING TO PUT ME DOWN AND GET THE UPPER HAND.  I REPLIED I'D RATHER BE GOOFY THAN PLUTO (DISNEY DOGS)  BECAUSE GOOFY CAN TALK.  HE WALKED AWAY BEFORE I HAD TO TELL HIM TO GO AWAY.  I'VE TOLD MEN TO GO AWAY BEFORE.  PEOPLE CAN BE SO ARROGANT AND FAMILIARLY DISRESPECTFUL.  LIKE MY OBSOLETE FAMILY.

WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT TO CRITICIZE ME.  NOT ME.  THEY THINK THEY CAN SHATTER ME.  NOT LIKELY.





 

1 A.M.

I AWOKE.  YESTERDAY WAS THE ICE CREAM SOCIAL $2.  I WASN'T GOING TO PARTICIPATE.  LAST YEAR WAS $1.  I CAN'T AGREE WITH DOUBLING THE PRICE.  MUST BE JENNIFER THE DIRECTOR.  SHE COMMISSIONED HER NEIGHBORHOOD STORE.  THEY PUT IT OUT ON THE PATIO R/T INSIDE AFTER LUNCH AND SHORTENED THE HOURS.  CHOCOLATE, VANILLA, RASPBERRY R/T STRAWBERRY, SHE ADDED ALMOND ICE CREAM, SHREDDED COCONUT.  GERTA ASKED ME IF I WAS GOING.  I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL RUSHED SO I TOLD HER I HAD TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET MONEY.  SHE GAVE ME TWO DOLLARS.  I WANTED A LITTLE OF EACH BUT COULD ONLY HAVE TWO, CHOCOLATE+ALMOND WITH EVERYTHING.  IT WAS OK.  I'D PREFER A LITTLE OF ALL FOUR.  I WAS FULL OF SUGAR.  STILL AM.  THE UKULELE BAND WAS GOOD BUT NO SOUND SYSTEM AND IT WAS NOISY SO HARD TO LISTEN.

SO I'VE BEEN WATCHING DVDS.  LOUISE HAY USED ALLIANCE I LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM AS THE ANTHEM FOR HER AIDS GROUP HAY RIDE IN SANTA MONICA.  SHE WAS RELIGIOUS SCIENCE PRACTITIONER.  FUNNY SHE NEVER MENTIONS ERNEST HOLMES, FILLMORES OR MARY BAKER EDDY.  I HAVE HER SELF PUBLISHED BLUE PAMPHLET 1984.  MAYBE WHEN I LIVED IN GILROY.

YOU TUBE HAS ALLIANCE PERFORMING 1987 AND HOW COULD ANYONE.  I BOUGHT THEIR TAPE FROM FIRST CHURCH OF RELIGIOUS SCIENCE WILLOW GLEN PERFORMANCE 1986(?).  I WANT A CD.  THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT JERRY FLORENCE HE DIED AIDS 1994.  A SPECIAL PERSON.

AHH, THE MUSIC OF MY LIFE.

10:25 a.m. crashed from sugar.  i'm ok.

SO DISTRACTED

I ATE CELERY LAST NITE FOR SNACK AND THIS A.M.  AND I FEEL SO GOOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.

I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD IN WHO KNOWS.

ANOTHER MIRACLE

COURSE IN MIRACLES "MIRACLES HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.  WE DON'T NOTICE THEM."

LAST WEEK I BOUGHT CELERY ON SALE .50 AND  I'VE BEEN EATING IT.  I LOVE AND SOMETIMES MUST HAVE SOME.  I EAT IT VORACIOUSLY FOR A FEW DAYS AND THEN I LOSE INTEREST AND HALF OF IT GOES TO WASTE.  NOW I KNOW WHY.  IT'S SO EXPENSIVE USUALLY I CONSIDER IT A LUXURY.  THIS WEEKEND I REDISCOVERED LOUISE HAY AND NEWLY DISCOVERED MEDICAL INTUITIVE ANTHONY WILLIAM.  CELERY FOR ALL INFLAMMATION.  MY BODY NEEDS IT, BECOMES BALANCED AND THEN MY BODY DOESN'T NEED IT.

AND LAST NIGHT I SLEPT LIKE A BABY.  I AWOKE WITH ACHES BUT I SLEPT 8 HOURS.  DESPITE EATING PRINGLES/MSG I HAD CELERY AS MY BEDTIME SNACK.  I HAD TO P 11:30 WHAT ELSE IS NEW.  I SLEPT 'TIL 5:30!!

EDITOR

I LOVE THE ABILITY TO EDIT ANY POST.  I CAN CORRECT AND REFINE MY THOUGHTS.  I CAN REVIEW MY BEHAVIORS.  PRETTY COOL.  I LOVE LOOKING BACK AND SEEING MY PROGRESS.

YOU CAN HEAL YOUR BODY IS A NEW EDITION.  I LOVE THE AFFIRMATIONS.  I CAN PLAY THEM IN THE BACKGROUND.  I CONSIDER FINDING MY OWN COPY.

I ACTUALLY WANTED TO JUMP UP AND DOWN THIS A.M.  I'LL WAIT AND DO IT CAREFULLY.  I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 4:30.  I'VE EATEN MY OATMEAL, CONSIDERED PUTTING OUT BINS MONDAY, REST AND RELAX.  THERE'S ALWAYS LATER.  I RESET MY PHONE.  PAID TARG.  STEADY GIRL, CALM AND PEACE FILLED.  EXUBERANCE LATER.

IT WORKS

I WAITED 'TIL 4 PM YESTERDAY TO RETURN CHROME AND IT BECAME AVAILABLE.  WHOOPEE!!

I WENT COSTCO, GAS REMEMBERED, G2 AND SAFEWAY CRACKERS, MUFFINS, CHIPS ON CLEARANCE. I'M SO DISTRACTABLE  I LEFT MY WALLET ON COUNTER WHEN CHECKER LEFT I DID TOO.  I WENT BACK WHEN I COULDN'T FIND IT TO PUT IN MY SACK BAG.

OSH CLOSING STORES.  AND HERE, CUPERTINO LIBRARY TO RETURN.  AND I PARKED IN LONG TERM SHADE.  I FOUND QUARTER IN BATHROOM MACHINE AND COULDN'T RETRIEVE IT, SO BLESSED IT.

I FOUND 3 HAY BOOKS TO ABSORB.  I AM RICHLY BLESSED.  A COMPILATION OF FLORENCE SCOVEL SHIN TITLES IS REMARKABLE IN IT'S USE OF WORDS.  LIKE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY THE WRITING IS STILL FRESH.

I SHALL DEVOUR THEM.

1:22 pm I'M AT SV LIB AFTER TARG.  I BOUGHT HOT DOGS, WALKED THE STORE FOR BARGAINS, PAID BILL DUE 1ST.  PASSED HOLLENBECK OSH, MAYBE RETURN LATER, MAYBE NOT.  ATE ONE HOT.

I DECIDED TO PICK UP ACTIVITY SHEET FOR SUMMER READ.  $5 COUPON.

WHOO-HOO!!  FOUND TWO DVDS.  HOME BY 4.  REST.

PRAYING FOR THE EVILS

THEIR NAMES KEEP APPEARING ON THE TV PROGRAMS SO I'M PRAYING FOR THEM, ANTICIPATING MORE WILL BE REVEALED.

IT MAY BE THE UNICORN INFLUENCE.  WHO KNOWS.  I'M MAXING OUT MY CHROME TIME.

I RE FOUND LOUISE HAY.  TIME FOR FUN HEALING.

I ATE MY SANDWICHES, BANANA, PICKLES, CELERY FROM HOME.  I GOT SLEEPY AND REMEMBERED NORCAL, OREGON, CANADA FIRES RAGING AND THE AIR QUALITY MODERATE. 

DREAMS OF THE PAST

4:45 I DREAMED OF FOUR BIKE RIDERS TAKING OFF FROM 36736 SPRUCE ST. GARAGE  STEALING MY SPARE PHONE CASE.  I WARN THEM EVERYONE WHO STEALS FROM ME PAYS THE KARMIC PRICE.  THEY LAUGH AND LEAVE.

DR. FARI'S NEPHEW WAS KILLED RIDING HIS BIKE.  SHE DID UNNEEDED DENTAL WORK FOR THE $.  FOUR MEMBERS IN EACH MY SIS' FAMILY.

OH, WELL.  I CAN ONLY REMIND AND RELEASE. 

 

CREATING A HAPPY CHILDHOOD IS HARD WORK

I'M EXHAUSTED.  FINDING OUT WHAT I LIKE AND GETTING IT AND TAKING CARE OF IT IS A LOT OF WORK.

EVERYTHING I OWN ACTUALLY OWNS ME.  I BECOME RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.  I GUESS MOST PEOPLE JUST AREN'T RESPONSIBLE OR SOMETHING.  I DON'T KNOW.

DOING WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT GETS BORING TOO.  I GUESS THAT'S WHY KIDS WANT TO GROW UP.  BESIDES WANTING EVERYTHING NOW.

MY SECOND DREAM THIS A. M. AT THREE WAS A TRAFFIC JAM IN THE COUNTRY DUE TO AN ACCIDENT.  I WENT THE OTHER WAY.  I FELT LIKE I WANTED TO LIE IN BED ALL DAY.  BEEN THERE DONE THAT.

ANTI-COMPULSION

HAPPINESS IS THE PRESCRIPTION FOR RELEASING COMPULSIONS.

I'M LISTENING TO MY SELF.  BIRDS AVOID COLLISIONS BY BEING CONNECTED TO THE UNIVERSE.  IT'S ONLY PEOPLE WHO DISCONNECT.  THE WHOLE POINT OF GOD IS THE CONNECTION WITH EVERYTHING.

HIGHLY GIFTED CHILD WAS LAST NIGHT'S BONUS PUZZLE AND I FORGOT UNTIL NOW.  AND I SURVIVED.  I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GOING OUT TO THE CAR FOR THE CHROME.  SO I DIDN'T.  AND TODAY I CHARGED MY PHONE.  I DIDN'T DO BOTH YESTERDAY, ONLY THE CHROME.  I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

i just tried tonight's puzzle, i goofed up.

WHO KNEW?  I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH BUT I DO ENJOY PAT AND VANNA.  I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T LIKE IT BEFORE.

I'M HAVING MORE FUN

I MUST BE DOING IT RIGHT.

I DECIDED CONSCIOUSLY IT'S UP TO ME.  I WAS BLAMED FOR MY MOM'S LIFE MY ENTIRE LIFE.  THE BLAME MADE ME CONSCIOUS OF MY EFFECT ON OTHER PEOPLE.  SOMETIMES AN ACCURATE DESCRIPTION SOMETIMES NOT.  THE BLAME TAUGHT ME MY LIMITS. 

I'M A TEACHER TO THOSE WILLING TO LEARN.  MY GREATEST STUDENT MYSELF.

PUMPKIN PIE-QUARTERS

BEST DAY SO FAR.  I WENT TO G2, SAFEWAY, CUPERTINO LIBRARY 10 A.M., QUARTER & TWO BUTTONS ON THE GROUND.  I ACCESSED MY MAIL, BLOGGED USING CHROME.  I DROVE DIRECTLY TO ST J AND FOUND TWO NEW JOE BOXER T'S, LAVENDER TANK AND SWEATER, GLASS COVER FOR ARIEL XMAS MUSIC BOX, ALL HALF OFF.  THEN AFTER LUNCH AT PARK LIBRARY TWO QUARTERS AND NICKEL.

I CAN EAT PIE IN COOLER, WHATEVER I WANT.  AND SO MUCH TIME TO DO WHATEVER I CHOOSE.

I WANTED PUMPKIN PIE LAST WEEK FROM SPROUTS BUT NONE.  AND THE SAFEWAY LARGE HALF PIE FOR $1.99 WAS PRETTY GOOD. 

I CAN HAVE IT ALL.

SO GREAT!

HERE I SIT AT CUPERTINO 10 A.M. ON A SUNDAY AND I HAVE ACCESS TO MY ONLINE ACCOUNTS THROUGH CHROME.  THAT WAS THE ONLY PROBLEM, USING EXPLORER LIMITED ACCESS.

I RETURNED DVDS AND TODAY IS ST. J.  SO I WAS THINKING I'D GO STRAIGHT FROM HERE.  I HAVE BOOKS AND DVDS.  WHAT MORE COULD I WANT I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVEN'T FOUND ANY MORE DIMES BUT I FOUND A QUARTER AND BOTTLES AND CANS.  I'M FEELING RICH AND SUPPORTED.

I CAN EAT BANANA.  I CAN WRITE TO AUNTY.  I CAN CATCH UP ON LIFE.  I CAN RUMINATE.  I'M FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I THINK I'LL READ.  MY FAVORITE THING TO DO.

I'M LEARNING

I CHECKED MY E-MAIL AND LUCKY'S FREE SLICED TURKEY. WATCHED LAST MOVIE STAR.

FEELING ...?

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HUMAN HISTORY WE CONTEMPLATE DYING.  BECAUSE OF IMPROVEMENTS IN DIET AND MEDICINE WE HAVE RETIREMENT AND MOST ARE DECLINING HAPPINESS FOR BRATINESS.  THE DESIRE TO DO NOTHING IS TOTALLY UNNATURAL.  THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE IS IN CONSTANT MOTION.  TO SIT AND VEGETATE IS CONTRA-LIFE.  AND SO A PAIN FILLED DEATH AWAITS ALL WHO SIT AND VEGETATE.  WE'RE NOT VEGETABLES.  ALTHOUGH MANY ARE IN DENIAL. 

HEAVEN

I'VE BEEN DOING WHAT I WANT AND FORGETTING THE CLOCK.  I SPENT THE DAY READING AND CATCHING UP ON NEWSPAPER PUZZLES.  MY IDEA OF HEAVEN. 

I HAVE FOOD AND AM FEELING FINE.  NEXT TABLE AT LUNCH GAVE US DESSERTS.  I THINK THEY'RE PREPARING FOR AVOCADO HARVEST.  TOO MUCH WORK.

TIME OF MY LIFE

I'M DOING WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT.  NOTHING BETTER.

LET GO

I STAYED IN AFTER GYM 2 AND SHOPPING.  REST, READING, ROASTED CHICK-KA- BOBS.  I REMEMBERED TO MIX STRAWBERRY QUIK.  YUM.  WHEN I ARRIVED G-2 NO PAPER I SUPPOSED IT ON VACATION THEN AS I WAS LEAVING I CHECKED AND TV GUIDE AND LOCAL SECTION HIDDEN UNDER DAILY.  WEREN'T THERE B4.

I MADE SPAGHETTI AND MEAT ASTEROIDS FROM SRS.  I HAVE HOT DOGS IN THE FREEZER.  I ATE SALAD W/MARMALADE.  PORK SANDWICH.

I LOVE MY NEW CAR.  I HAVE SEPARATE LIGHTS ON THE MIRROR.  THE ROSEWOOD ACCENTS ARE BEAUTIFUL.  SO MANY LUXURY TOUCHES.  I FEEL TRULY BLESSED.

STILL

I HAD ABANDONMENT ISSUES EARLY THIS MORNING.  I COULD HAVE BEEN ADOPTED BY PEOPLE WHO WANTED ME BUT ACCORDING TO MOM DAD DIDN'T AGREE AND I WAS STUCK BEING THE FETCH AND CARRY FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.  I WAS SURE I WAS ADOPTED BY MY FEAR FILLED FAMILY.  I JUST KNEW I DIDN'T BELONG.

I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY REAL FAMILY TO RECOGNIZE ME.

I CONSOLED AND REASSURED MYSELF.  I LOVE ME.

I'M A SINGLE MOM AND ONLY CHILD.

I TOOK MYSELF TO MC-D.  HAPPY HAMBURGER MEAL+MCCHICKEN=$4.36.  WOWIE WOW WOW.  I LEFT FOUND PENNY ON FLOOR IN FRONT OF ORDER COUNTER W/MY BLESSINGS.

AND AN AFTERNOON OF MOVIES AND GOOFING AT THE LIB.  I ANSWERED PAGE FOR MY CAR IN PARKING GARAGE.  SCPD PATROLS UNDER GROUND GIVES TICKETS. 

-- = +

FROM A NEGATIVE A POSITIVE RESULT.  I'M STILL DOING DUE DILIGENCE.  I CHECKED LOST & FOUND-CITY. 

COURSE IN MIRACLES- IT'S NOT SUCCESS OR FAILURE- IT'S THE PRACTICE.

PRACTICING GOOD BEHAVIORS TO BE AND HAVE THE GOOD.

FEAR OF LOSING IT

THE NEW GREAT FEAR.  AS KIDS WE PRACTICED FOR NUCLEAR WAR.  NOW SINCE THEY CAN BLOW US UP AND WE DON'T CARE IT'S DEMENTIA. 

AS GILDA RADNER SAID, "IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING."

LET GO

I HAVEN'T YET REMEMBERED TO CHECK CITY LOST AND FOUND AGAIN.  DOING DUE DILIGENCE.

93 DEGREES F

I WAS GOING TO LEAVE AT 4 UNTIL I SAW THE TEMP.  I'M HANGING OUT LIKE A CHILD AT PLAY.

I WENT TO VISIT ROSE MARIE FOR A PEP TALK.  IT WAS 90 THEN AFTER CAMPBELL LIBRARY.  IBBIDY, IBBIDY, THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

SELF SABOTAGE

IS LEARNED AND CONTINUED AS A BAD HABIT OR LOYALTY TO THE PAST. 

SUCCESSFUL, HAPPY PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THAT.  I CAN LEAVE IT IN THE PAST.  I DON'T NEED IT AS AN ANCHOR, A STABILIZING FORCE. 

FEELING GUILTY

I WANTED THE SAFEWAY $5 FRIDAY STRAWBERRY BOSTON CREME CAKE AND RAYMOND BROUGHT ONE TO LUNCH.  HOW PERFECT IS THAT.  PERFECT.  I STAYED AT SRS AND PUZZLED 'TIL 4.

AND I GOT THE TITLE FOR THE CAR.  HURRAY!!