so relaxed

i forgot to pay city and cell.  i started looking for voting due to Trump er meltdown in tub.  he loudly announced to everyone he's voting for trump.  no one asked so i sought clarification asked if he's voting for king trump he started repeating the many lies so i commented on trump's many threats to subvert democracy like hitler after being elected in germany.  he left in a huff shouting at me to shut up to which i replied today i still have free speech.  trump ers are so cuckoo.  makes me glad i'm old.  i pray for all immigrants who came here for freedom.  poor babies.  

i won bingo 1/2.  nurses talked a lot.  

friends and family

in my life maybe a handful.  more now.  

Diana gave me monopoly tickets that expired yesterday.  oh, well.  kept me busy.  

i puzzled 'til 5:30 then biked.  i went to nob hill to redeem free salad and mac nuts now $9.  3 hazelnuts on clearance $2.49.  I picked up 2 ads.  Tina burritos 2/$1.  blueberry pie for dessert.  

feeling frustrated

computer shut down after i looked at 2 spam.  firewalls working.  but i didn't write down the password I couldn't get in, I used alternate way I don't prefer.  

lovely cool and overcast.

I'm still feeling a little sad or hungry.  what for b'fast.  and do i want to go to sunny or nob or anything today.  holiday for city.  

i'm reading Amy B Scher how to heal yourself from depression when no one else can.  healing is an inside job.  she's lived it like me.  

King of Queens marathon

1998-2007 was the worst time of my life.  complete total family betrayal.  more than four times the pain with my ex husband.  

i had to come out of denial and accept the family chose their fantasy and subsequent consequences.  

i had to acknowledge they willfully and purposely chose to repeatedly betray and torture me.  

to be happy i had to process the pain of all the years of torture they inflicted.  feel it to heal it.  expose the wound to the light and oxygen.  

i'm pampering myself, the large Elf.  i'm keeping it light and in the light without taking it lightly.  

i feel like crying

something old in me is dying.  life is change.  the season is changing.  goodbye summer.  I've never felt more alive.  I'm missing a loving supportive family.  I can feel.

i think a lot of seniors are crippled from ignoring their bodies.  they're taught to fight their bodies until the body can't function.  dis ease.  doctors are like a lot of priests.  they want to be God.  

i decided happy birds is too crowded, loud, hot.  not today.  i remembered comic con and avoided the crowd picked up st just lunch Charity is so pleasant.  i walked first baptist for an hour and half i decided $10 budget asi lo mar mesh bag, adze, white lace fabric pieces, washable office pen organizer.  she wanted to charge me $12.  i was going to put back lace she threw it in and a separate bag for adze.   yesterday she wanted to charge me $8 for 2 pieces of fabric one white one blue lace.  no thank you.

life is improving

i showered, biked 30, puzzled, lunch i got extra plate by timing my walk.  i'm feeling calm and peaceful.  after seniors i went checked out prune lucky's picked up free soda and $5 2X royal blue hoodie.  decided to check out 1st baptist rummage too expensive.  I had a good time shopping for 2 hours.