My Dreams of You 2024

soothing.  I'm feeling shaky.  when life feels great I'm afraid my family will stomp on me.  a lifetime of abuse takes practice to erase.  I'm doing it evidenced by my fun times.  

apple pie and ham and cheese.  my stomach is queasy from the dairy.  the cottage cheese was worth it.  

I'm re configuring my life.  I found 3 squeeze flashlights and I'm giving the one with tags to Leta with the valentines swirly straw cup and stretchy turtle hematite bracelet.  I decided to store my dinosaur and Disney back packs.  'fun fun silly willy' Pinky.  

Leta went to her Anthony's b'day party and I won bingo twice.  Marie invited me to sit with the senior center.  Jane and Ed were their argumentative selves.  they insisted on more cards than they could handle and complained throughout.  Ed insisted he wasn't stupid when he complained and demonstrated his stupidity to the room.  

I went to Central to puzzle and fill the 4 water bottles I used to rinse my car.  very satisfying day.  

BLISS-PI Day 3.14152-TOMORROW ST JUST BINGO 1:30

affirmations set my course for my miracles.  1976 I started affirmations Sondra Ray "I deserve Love" 1986 'Course in Miracles' in Gilroy.

"My Dreams of You" Hallmark movie moved me.  sounds unbelievable I know.  I actually liked it.  

I soaked and stretched observing Dave and the model.  he's used to being adored and always faces his audience like a sunflower following the sun.  heliocentric.  

I'm eating and playing and having my happy childhood.  Sprouts had double crust apple pie for $3.14 Pi Day.

more good days.

two days in a row-gave Mallory best friend Oscar this Sunday-paid phone & city

as I leave this planet I now have fond memories.  Bob Hope hosted the Oscars 19 times "thanks for the memories".  "Big Broadcast 1938".  

the senior's suit spinner is leaking water.  still works.  

AAHH it came to me my itchy ribs.  I'm tickling myself.  yesterday I was tempted to fake throw an orange at Cody while shouting 'think fast!' and successfully refrained.  and it occurred to me that switching the table numbers at lunch would be an interesting prank and refrained.  mom was always pulling pranks meant to instill fear and anxiety.  not good ones.  

Fred, Toki, Walter all TGIF'd so I went to County.  auto return machines not hooked up, I was told to toss in bin.  

Sunshine asked if I went to Senior Suicide focus group when I sat next to her.

Louise 1976 blue book.  I'm listening and practicing at Central.  "

1:30 Mallory meeting

I am blessed by so much food.  2 extra lunches, Walter's tuna celery lettuce tomato, half of Fred's.  Cindy's 2 PB cookies.  tiny potato pollock hot meal.  I ate tuna and feel sleepy.  

Thomas, Vera, Inge, David, Martin and Sunshine came to Suicide website focus group.  an hour well spent.  snacks of fresh strawberries and PB crackers.  2 waters.  

new behavior after 3 am bathroom break I ate lasagna b'fast and slept 'til 8.  so rested.  I dressed and was in the pool by 9.  Cody bookmobile 10.

I decided to let Sunny expire today.  I already have a central copy and it isn't that good.  

central library David showed up at 5 I gave him wooden red bird puzzle Sammy there I asked about his niece.  lovely dinner of 2 fish, fresh strawberries.  

lasagna b'fast

I'm feeling happy.  my back is screaming and I'm OK with it.  I'm lying in a warm cozy.  

back to work.  lunch with Fred, Trudy, Kenny, Toki, Walter still upset that Gil approached him yesterday and everyone scattered.  practically evaporated.  he had to confront his creating his experience.  he was quite crabby.  

library I finished 2 puzzles and my walking Savers.  I have so much food.  Ruben gave me his goody bag and Walter his tuna.  I walked Gro O and bought coconut drink.  only one left.  home at 6 pm.  last night I drove the expressway, tonight I drove through town.  more peaceful.  

near sight not subject to size only distance

I find that interesting.  autism makes life interesting.  Inge offered note pads and pens I took 2.  

a sneezy day.  pollen moderate somewhere.  

I don't know what I'm feeling emotionally.  I'm feeling scattered.  an internal wind storm.  

I went to Savers after lunch and the library.  the new boxed air fryer senior discount $17.49, new red roller $4.20, facial cloths $1.40.  Grocery Outlet I bought lasagna $4.99 and salad $1.49.  so good.   

Pay Citibank by tomorrow-PAID

I'm using DST to advantage.  new behavior.  I usually just feel resentment to change.  typical autism reaction.  I'm relaxing into today.  I'm deep breathing into my feelings.  calming my stomach.  

Until I was 4 and we came from Hawaii to the mainland I was loved.  while arriving at night I saw the landing lights and thought I was in Fairyland.  the next morning was cold drab and loveless.