trying new things

 yay! me auto update.  if I use auto b-4 publishing it's locked in.  

scary Halloween.  OMG!  I'm looking up mental facility in Redwood City on Alameda de Las Pulgas where Mom spent a weekend under observation after attempting pill suicide and this device has my home address.  the street picture for driving directions shows next door Halloween decorations.  

Walter was complaining about his sister so I shared my 2 sisters repeated threats of physical violence having the Sheriff throw me onto the street.   they accused me of costing the estate money when they couldn't illegally evict me.  eh, I didn't want them in jail.  

WOW 5:32 already.  1:30 I bought 5 freshly cooked corn dogs.  

tomorrow monster day-I love playing

the pumpkin fairy left a pie I got a piece for me and Cody.  I forgot my returns at home.  Hilde served leftovers from back again and I got chicken.  I ate faux crab cheese potato b'fast.  

wearing my slip ins my feet are swollen from Nodira coffee I over indulged.  I'm floating on a sea of caffeine.  and standing 2 hours at central puzzle table.  I'll rest half hour.  I have salad.  

most conscious-auto update

I enjoyed puzzling and soaking.  lunch with Trudy and Ken, Fred, Walter, Toke.  Trudy gave me 6 PB cookies  Ann gave me big bag of persimmons I shared most with Trudy.  she likes drying them.  

I had a very serious heart to heart with Walter.  I want him to find his flock.  we're too old, he needs younger folks.  he has to be himself to find his flock to love and support him.  I feel loved and supported.  ergo my bounty yesterday.

and today I went to Walmart 1:30 shady parking space front and side.  I bought A Reds @ pharmacy avoided lines and followed behind delivery man out side door to my car.  

blogger looks like booger-mailed DD

I addressed envelope and pondering keeping stamps with $.  I'm ready.

Hilde had 4 dinners back row.  I got one.  

I mailed DD Franklin and went central remembering I need A reds at 4:30.  tomorrow.  I went to Safeway when I got there a bottle of espresso concentrate in cart.  I put it in the car and proceeded no corn dogs.  I knew it was a distinct possibility.  so I walked the store bought 2 faux crab 2 chips $5.  outside in a cart someone left ice cold 'heat and serve' meatloaf mash and green beans $9.99.  I knew if no corn dog I'd find something else.  

adult draft

10 am just enjoying being.  watching 'Lilo Stitch" live I realize I never had a family.  I had a group of people I worked for.  

life is about feeling.  I was told I was too sensitive and insensitive sometimes in the same sentence.  amazing I'm not crazy.  crazier.  

watching "Janis Ian" she had parents who suffered and still they cherished and supported her.  

I like having choices

funny Walter becomes immobilized.  he's still afraid of choosing wrongly.  he doesn't yet realize he can choose again.  Course in Miracles.  CIM.

                                                                                                         blog's doing something weird.  EH!  keep calm and carry on.  

                                                                                                      time to swim.                                                                                         lovely.  I picked up St Just lunch missed weekend bag by 2 people.  I saved the bread and ate the deli ham cheese.  and someone left raw croissant i can cook.  375 oven 10-12 minutes.  ooh, I can bake egg tuna melt.  

happy girl watching 1993 'animaniacs'

Steven Spielberg's cartoon.  I didn't discover 'til bedridden.  laughter is the best medicine.  so entertaining and distracting.  

reading oprah.  "drama mama".   'O' magazine 2016 p. 50 dysfunction.  victim, rescuer, persecutor.  leads to stress related dis-ease, depression. 

weird google wouldn't work, error warning of city's unsafe connection and to click on message.  definitely under attack to compromise account.  I ignored and used library room.  

wheel is not cooperating at 5.  I'm at Nob buying dinner.  I like it, going to the neighborhood market to pick up dinner.  I feel so cosmopolitan.  sophisticated.  silly.  Narf.  Poit.  I told Walter about "Animaniacs".

celebrity wheel tonight.

their best was rubbish

5 am dream of counselor, my inner pain.  my parents taught what they knew, cruel children.  they were raised by their older siblings.  

my back and stomach screaming at me all night actually my childhood of torture.  wearing new shoes reliving the constant discomfort, releasing the pain filled past.  now I have choices.  

I love salad for b'fast.  mix is easy.  iceberg is sweet, cabbage substantial.  

my left eye twitch is back.  annoying.  

good day freebies from s county DA office scams and frauds senior abuse 12:15-1:15 only half hour.  I came home ate 3 chocolate muffins slept 'til 7 pm so refreshed.  bed after 9.

my puzzles

my way of organizing the chaos.   it started out as a way to lean on the table and decompress my spine.  

the format is reverting to "normal" setting.  weird.

I ate some allergy plant natural antihistamine.  

I brought shoes to break in.  kind of a teal color.  

I went to sunny library returned spot after puzzling 'til 5 pm.  I stopped at Sprouts 1:30 and bought muffins and bear claws.  so good.  

pizza b'fast-Nodira and son Tohir

delicious.  makes me so happy.  

another cup of coffee.  try it again.  I liked the fish with gravy and roasted red potatoes.  the frozen broccoli was bad.  

Wow

27% phone.  allergies are itching and tickling my eyes and nose.  I look like I've been smoking pot.  too much junk in the air.  

I prefer autumn to fall.  

I finally had my Domino's pizza.  $12 with everything.  beef, ham, bacon, mushroom, pineapple, spinach, olives.  on thin crust practically a salad.  

" Build the Life You Want"

we want something different every day.   what I want changes.  to hit the target the focus must remain on the target.  the target constantly changes.  "Build" stresses emotion=energy in motion.  love is an energy, is a verb as well as a noun.  

I can stay home and my body will hurt or go out and distract myself.  or take care of stretching my back.  

every day

I have so many new shoes.  Aiko left 2 pair fancy leather mocs in 7 1/2.  she switched them for the white clogs.  and I have 2 pair sports I got last year.  I can break them in gradually at home and the library.  

I remembered the leftovers.  I cooked the raw onions from the hummus wrap.  tasty mini.  leftover lunch casserole beans greens.  b'fast.  

7:20 I remembered today's Saturn day.  I dressed for seniors soaked and stretched.  then St Just 2 bologna mayo 1 PBJ my inner child so happy.  

 I binder clipped Let it Go hopefully will flatten coffee ripples.  

Lost it

my new purple Star coffee cup leaked all over my bag.  Toki so jealous of freebies.  Hilda gave me extra lunch hummus wrap.  

then after puzzling it shut down I had too many SCAN tabs open.  bless g mail recovery number.  I was afraid it shorted but it's dry.  

I was riding high cuz after lunch I went to UPS $2 to fax DD.  I bought sushi and free water.  

I have to dry out book smells delicious coffee.  I planned on central.

Shao Wei, Asian lady puzzler.  

yay! owl puzzle

 art deco.  brilliant colors.  

I returned 3 overdue at county best shade parking.  found liquified pumpkin pie.  1:23 sitting in the shade I decided to go to Star one for direct deposit and withholding.  Christian was wonderfully patient.  gave me liquid highlighter and I shopped the customer table for a large purple travel coffee cup, chips, water.  no fax.  I checked UPS has fax.  

I decided on central 80 degree day.  I noticed I wore my black skirt inside out since exercise.  oh, well.

I called and apologized-Abe & Jenny

3 messages from Sourcewise the appointments I thought were cancelled when I booked the senior center.  I'm looking forward to receiving help.  my family always sabotaged and confused me.    

I'm feeling anxious.  went well.  Abe had me practice on my chrome.  

Whoa, I have 3 overdue at county.  tomorrow.  or Friday?  quantum leap too real.  made me feel sick to see Rodney King beating new reel again.  

playing all day

 yay! me! 

I want a happy childhood.  I'm having a happy childhood.  Walter is still arguing.  eh, like my family.  if i can turn him around my pseudo family is a success.  I'm already a success.  I survived and I'm thriving.  he remembered Stuart Smalley.  SNL.

"every day in every way I'm getting better and better."  emile coue-  I started 50 years ago.  

Sunny seniors-Herman and Yanti

Yippee!  no muss no fuss.  I put out the garbage bin.  24 hour at 7:46 ok parking at 9 plenty.  

I finally figured out I don't have to suffer stinky people I can wear a mask.  they always talk thinking what they have to say is so important.  their garlic breath actually makes my eyes water.  

lots of sausage, red yellow bell, black olives on bisquick pizza.  reminded me of 8th grade home ec.  I guess the best part is the 50's-60's music of my childhood.  better now.  arugula grape tomato salad.  mandarin oranges.  hard boiled med egg in shell.

pg 248 Build the Life...Love energy the building material for fluid and crystallized intelligence.  analysis and innovation, patterns and new combinations.  

3 pm finally rained I went to 24 Safeway for 5/$5 honey crunch corn dogs only had 4 I tried pizza stick nah next time I'll try burrito.  

woke 3 am

 I wasn't allowed to make mistakes.  I was barely allowed to breathe.  made me Uber Autism.  

God cares for me

after seniors I bought BK croissant b'fast.  I had such a time with the large coffee.  I had protein chocolate powder in a bottle.  I drank while soaking and stretching in tub.  I took my vitamins and picked up St Justin lunch.  

very mellow day.  if the rest of my life is this good I'll stay very happy.  

Build the Life You Want is Great.  books they refer to are like meeting old friends.  I always relied on books.  I always felt enriched buying and reading them.  and they were always with me like tobacco to change my energy.  my two friends growing up.  bob 1993

sleep

 a most important element in a healthy, happy life.  

car mechanics, doctors, dentists are necessary and people avoid them.  

I'm surprisingly calm

I got up to watch Split Second.  I put on my nice warm robe to bring in water.  I found the pocket to repair a book bag.  

smooth.  Carlos dropped me off at 9:30.  will pick me up at 1 pm.  I forgot my phone at home.  I charged it up.  

Cody is so funny.  he has a Star Wars trooper helmet I posed in.  it's actually big on me.  he checked my chrome in and out for me.  he's so funny acting like it's illegal.  

Carlos showed me the worn brake disc almost to metal.  i came home and needed a nap.  

playing

mom and dad both had autistic behaviors.  I'm Uber Autism.  both had no need for people.  both hated new anything.  both suffered anxiety and made us suffer.  

I called Carlos re front brakes he looked and in the red zone.  he can see from the side.  tomorrow 9:30 appt to replace discs $330 total.  as safe as I feel there I still feel anxious.  anything non routine causes me to feel anxious.  

hungry after lunch I made half tuna sandwich.  

Monty Hall-finished reading Flagg

Spit second 5:30-6:30.  

6:59 am happy sweeps and puzzle.  I puzzled 'til 9 showered, soaked & stretched, Toke was late Chinese took her chair, she sat next table.  they were on my doodoo list.  Walter started watching Second Hand Lions.  good distraction I told him.  I stopped negging.  

Hilde gave me deli turkey veg stew meal when I asked for potatoes.  I had the alternate sandwich/cranberry.  I ate the meal at 3:30.  8 oz not ample lunch good snack.  

eh-sis' b'day

my body remembers the denials and ridicule.  I can safely feel the rejection.  in my stomach.  I wonder if that's why seniors get big bellies.  all the negativity stored.  I don't have to deal with any of it.  I can let it go give it to God.  I put in my time 7x70.  

oh, no TV listing changes.  figures.  

my lucky day

new Fannie Flagg book.  Something to Look Forward To.  and I am.

weird St Just lunch frozen sandwiches, chile jello too hot to finish.  interesting concept.  I mixed it with peach cup.  looks like guava so I tried finishing it.  spicy jello BIG NO.

such happiness.  puzzle and new book=heaven.  

oh, the corn dogs are calling me.  I have a sandwich and cucumber. 

Yippee!! paid Disc

I'm having more fun.  oh, my back hurts from standing at the central puzzle table 4 hours.  worth it.  I want to keep the muscles working.  I load my bags for weight lifting.

I'm watching Young Sheldon from 5/16/24.  I don't know why I missed it.  maybe recovering from 2/14/24 car collision.  reminds me of dad's funeral.  

despite weather 100% rain-Happy Thursday to me, Happy Thursday to me

Happy Thursday dear me, Happy Thursday to me.  I saw, I swam, I conquered.  

way more than a tenth of an inch of rain.  if it continues raining banking tomorrow.  I decided Bartolo $ later too.  stopped raining at 7 am seniors and 10 Cody mobile.  

I bought RB bag lunch w/coupon clipped my car key and the desk freaked.  Miranda tried signing me up for class Silicon Valley Power lighting safety on Mon. 10/27 at 12:30-1:30 pm and couldn't find it.  Aracelli signed me up.  I remembered my lunch myself.  

it stopped raining I went to teller Chase withdrew and deposited at Merry.  I walked Sprouts nothing.

2 pm ensconced at main.  found current PGE bill $70/2 months due 16th.  

I paid Bartolo in his front yard I told him the branches need cutting off the roof.  I hate stating the obvious.  

labels are so confining

 like definitions.  everything is made up.  social agreements.  

so lovely peaceful senior center.  

and library reading is my favorite.  

Build the Life You Want.

adenosine pg 61 makes you feel tired sleepy opposite of caffeine.

anhedonia pg 72 inability to feel pleasure.