living pain free is challenging. i have to change my movements without planning ahead. i'm still accommodating the pain that's gone. 21 years is a long time. pain makes everything seem even longer. and now the emotional pain needs processing.
i finally finished sewing the dress i started last year. mom's quilting fabric. so i decided to wear it to library. feeling good i went to gym 2. dinner i wanted b king. 20 minutes for order. big king 2/$5.
9:30 bed feels so good.
sunny vale library open 'til 6. gamed updated feeling rested. so cold i stayed in bed 1-3 watching healing resting napping. feeling rested went gym 2 safe way around corner no value eggs. so on to maria lucerne substitution eggs $1.93 value price and sliced almonds. came home 8:30 heated rice quinoa melange then added egg to soft. tuna bread. so good. i sliced olive bread loaf. i ate tuna on celery for lunch. i should add sliced almonds.
having what i want when i want is healing. heaven.
i reset my pages. i chose to drive around sunny vale library parking lot. olive street still blocked construction. i found a bunch of spaces in front. 2 days pain free. anat baniel method works like magic. i'm beside myself feeling out of body. i ate and listened to healing. i appreciate not having to decide on menu shop prepare cook clean up. my 8 year old self loves the freedom. i did it for the whole family 'til 18. alien had her 9 month boyfriend dale stone do it all. i preferred she didn't take my tools and groceries when she moved out. oh, well.
she moved in with lauren january 2002 taking my things to the fordham house she made mom cook and clean and gardening. she started selling mom's orchid online connie's orchids.
checked locations wells fargo next to sprouts. cashed it. ate lunch no reception no healing music. lack luster gristly beef 2 pieces broccoli. yahoo.
well, world war 3. i just hope trump isn't planning a takeover here. i was reading his support of putin egging him on to invade. the internet is full of it. i suppose trump believes he can take over america. sad to live to see it. i'm sure trump believes putin will help him like before but putin only helps putin. the only reason to help trump is to take down america and attempt to control the world.
took 2 days to find the jacket i safely put away for Walter. i didn't want the sisters to get it. i stored it in a pillow case to use as a pillow. i'm getting better at remembering the daily things.
pch sent me an email i won $10. i got it today too.
everything according to me. i listened to heal my life and my anxiety is gone. i took my time (my time) went to gym 2 2:30 pm relaxed. drove to library charged chrome. looked up willow and engine cleaner at Walmart. and target is there in mountain view. it's a plan.
i'm not ready to retrace my 1992 steps. i'm still feeling trauma. my right temple so sore. mom was worse than dad. she insisted he remain a big baby.
stay cation 2/21 affirmations working. took 45 years and worth it. i've processed not just my baggage but the family issues. i'm an expert on me. the human condition. talking to Walter is talking to myself. talking to anyone. watching the interviews on healing the common affect we're all freaks. there's an eagerness and stunned quality in their eyes. no wonder i'm off putting.
a full day already. still sitting dr. office 9:50 and i don't mind i'm listening healing using wifi. 4082607575. i planned main visit forgot movies bag at home. maybe next week. i don't know. fired dr nicely offered to find another doctor. he wants to be needed. i'm feeling empowered. i think he wants more money.
i went to Lx lucky's looking for pizza 100 bonus points. found it. veg only i can add can chicken if i want. home baked ate half for lunch feeling strong on to main returned and re checked out 'Stuber' and laptop ether net usb 2.0 connector. Monica helped me looking on internet best buy. she checked in back for hot spot (need subscription service) too and desk request on one and offered instruction when i find one. hurrah!! i'm about to upgrade my computing.
home 2 pm ate second half 10 inch pizza. forgot i had safe way mediocre meatloaf and opened can chicken corn chowder for dinner added can chicken garlic cheese bread. rest and relax. still feeling strong.
i'll have to check if downstairs has ottoman and plug. i feel like an empress.
after seniors i decided on paying pge walmart and looking for willow and engine cleaner i stopped at mega safe way none. 3 pennies along shady parking. no sunny vale today.
during stretching i found spot on lower right spine knotted. hurray. not so fast now my left 3rd rib complaining. balance.
i own heal my life. book first and since sun day dvd.
i was very angry at dr chung. he doesn't believe me. i don't feel better going to appointments for nothing. i want to have more fun not appointments. i ate and still disappointed dr. but no longer angry. i didn't appreciate him complaining about his knee during my appointment when my entire body is pain wracked. maybe i need a new doctor.
wanted to go auto store moved to mountain view. i parked in shade ate my lunch listening to healing. it quit i went into library. finished 2:30 home rerun 'love boat' i rested in bed watching 'vicar' 'til 4:30. i'm takig better care of me putting myself first. 'jeopardy' and 'college' tonight. i'm happy. having a horrible childhood sets the bar really low.
i thought i warmed up car enough 49 o check engine light i went to Carlos time to give him apples and oranges. seniors i chatted with Art, Greg, Inge, Gerde. i started to go and decided to call Ciro x ray no appointments walk in only. tech on lunch 11:30-12:30 i ate my lunch in car. 12:15 i sat in office 2 ahead of me. reception noticed me without signing in i didn't stand in line my right leg too unstable. same tech as last year. then i went 99+ nothing, dollar tree 3 gallon bleach. i'll have to go auto parts for engine cleaner. i stopped at Grocery outlet looking for willow she said check back later. on to library i considered gym 1 no. going Hollenbeck due to olive closure easier. got there 3:00 gamed 'til 4. home for my game shows and tonight college jeopardy.
raw zucchini-wheel/ a bird of the air 7.3
third times the charm i filled up gasoline at cost co. seniors i sorted car for this week, shampooed, stretched. picked up lunch Inge showed up Toke said she told Inge in the gym last week. i held the table and art and Greg showed up. i went out to help Gerde with her walker. drove to nob hill looking for willow none. i bought 2 meatloaf and Delft crock of cherries $21.99 used $2 off coupon didn't register manager gave me cash no questions. brought home ate chicken spinach lunch 1 pm went to Dr Chung learned Anthem replaced him as my primary care took half hour to get him back. won't get me handicap parking. oh, well. thought what i wanted to do checked how i felt, ok. on to sunny street blocked off back way parked in shade called Walter happy Valentines 17 minutes he was outside windy hard to hear. waiting for bus to Kiely post box.
computed, home 5 pm special Valentines games on 2.4. ate meatloaf yum.
eyes burning nose running sneezing. could be Malibu fires or a cold. lovely 70 o weather. eating vitamin c must be cold. probably from using community computer keyboard. my immunity boosted.
sat 2/12 rest-my compulsion i read entire book. i want to be majorly happy. i work diligently and deserve happiness. felt good to do what i want. stayed in bed 'til 8:45 i wanted to watch 'that's my mama' marathon. i ate eggs and celery, chicken stew, feeling healthier. i even ate a pear.
Super bowl 2/13 sun day-best day to shop and drive. my back screaming at me. maybe not enough moving and brace yesterday. 77 o streets abandoned i drove to cost co for gas everyone there i drove past to sunny library 12:30. i found 10 movies $5. debating back to cost co. i went 4 pm and it was still packed. gas station over run. tomorrow. i got hot dog and 2 sodas. $1.63. lots of people don't watch the game. the world has changed.
still taking willow thinner less inflamed i feel cooler.
doesn't take much. i admonished that European who always talks loud. he was harassing the man sitting 5 feet away trying to engage him in a loud voice, i told him he was too loud and reminded him of the signs around the library. big baby shut up. he was looking for an argument. another annoying man.
yesterday i left early rather than engage. not today too much of a pain. driving home i detoured to $tore automatically looking for engine cleaner none but 6 orange hostess cupcakes 75 % off. Score! and i'm happy again. wheeled in water filled at seniors and library. baking 6 drum sticks for stew. can tomatoes, corn, squash, beans, potatoes. i added some water softener salt.
oh... toke dropped off doz croissants. i thanked her parked across street she had groceries in car 6 pm. ate 3 with chicken stew. and one for dessert. i called to thank and chat didn't pick up she's mourning her auntie's death.
as if it isn't bad enough bully Putin is threatening to make global warming 10 times worse. what's the point of limiting pollution if spoiled children are allowed to play their real life war games? his waste of human life is criminal. the millions he's wasted on war could have made his country paradise for his people and they follow him over the cliff like lemmings plunging to their deaths. emotions manipulated in the worst way.
Trump is good at that too. all he offers is anger and 'self righteous' fear. and some people love him. makes them feel alive until they're dead. makes me wonder how terrible their childhoods were to prefer a life of constant hate. feelings are choices.
i feel like a week went by yesterday. still sore and tired. remembering thinner when my eye hurts. i computed picked up lunch exercised late waiting. i was just about to leave when she showed up.
Carlos has removed the fear of the check engine light=my freedom to move. mobility. the third family tradition. alcoholism, suicide, fear. mom threatened killing me so many times i grew to prefer death to the family. at least i wouldn't have to tolerate the crazies. like alien locking me in the closet i preferred the peace and solitude to the torture. some people want any attention they can get. i don't. love me or leave me alone.
oh, Trump is an attention addict. he'll say anything do anything for any attention.
i wrote out Cathy and auntie's Valentine cards. my hips and legs so sore i'm exhausted from the pain. i'm moving so slowly. i want to mail today.
i went to post office and called Carlos. he had time. i asked if he needed anything no. he cleared the light and i told him he was right when the car is cold everything is loose and i must remember to warm everything before driving every day. no charge.
seniors i computed first feeling tired. 2 hours sitting i went showered and stretched. picked up lunch no calls to sunny vale considering nob hill on the way home. tired 2 pm home stopping to buy cooked chicken for dinner and 99 cent clearance cake mix with substitution recipe. went and lay down 2 hours. body is exhausted i'm taking my time moving slowly.
the only ability we don't lose with age. i walked safeway after gym 2 clearance ready chestnuts and bamba peanut butter puffs my lunch. pretty tasty.
check engine light. i didn't warm it up. it's on me. the engine needs to seal itself before driving. when it's cold it isn't sealed. i went gym 2 2 hours. beautiful day. left library when annoying men sat down at computers 3 pm. came home ate cornbread stuffing and soup.
feeling sad or maybe tired from hot tub. well tonight 'celebrity wheel' and new 'all creatures'. i stayed up 'til midnight watching '3 coins in the fountain' last night. so i started tired. tonight 10 pm bedtime.
i spent so much time having fun yesterday fry day. i did my seniors helped Gerde with her walker and decided to go to main to pick up new movies requested Thursday. picked up free Bio Steel drink Lucky's. first paid Citibank. dropped off 2 bags groceries st just. on to sunny vale library. enjoying myself. helping others and helping myself.
i got depressed. i was tired looking for Panera receipt and looking at taxes. i barely have to pay soc sec but i feel i screwed up. overly tired. i still can't tell.
woke 2:30 am hurting back of thighs coccyx pelvis took willow and kava. watched mr rogers dozed. even stretching not helping pain relief. stomach hurting ate beef jerky. got up 8 am hungry planning to stay home day of rest. wore brace cooked frozen broccoli added eggs. settled stomach a little. taking willow helps a lot. took supplements organized next weeks. i can cook potatoes add can chicken and succotash. i love my microwave.
Cathy called 6:30 to ask for stickers to i d her walker. what!! i asked her if she had return address stickers to use and add her phone number. she was thrilled. i don't know. seems obvious to me. we talked 22 minutes.
i maxed out my renewals and forgot limited hours library. and i wanted to finish Inge's recycle. when i got there i asked if she'd eaten no. put senior lunch in trunk. did she like Panera? yes. i had to clear the front seat. filled back seat and trunk. her car in the shop for sensor light. she bought her Mercedes used. has warranty.
we dined steak melted swiss and for dessert she ordered artichoke i wanted bacon souffle. half a sandwich filled us up we took the rest home. at least i know she'll eat. she's so sad. 4 year honeymoon. retired love is the best like 2 kids no responsibilities. she saw him everyday. loaded 4 bags bottles.
recycled and tipped man $4 helped me 3 days then went to panda for orange chicken broccoli beef and my first red envelope coupons. sv library checked sale. home for feast.
wed-groundhog day 2/2-woke 4:30 left arm neck hurting. after hour half stretching i'm better than ok considering all i did yesterday. b'fast bacon souffle. 8 am hungry had some panda. after picking up lunch Gerde arrived i waited unloaded her walker and loaded when she returned. i did banking. chase then credit union. remembered library overdue chrome but couldn't access my main account from seniors. i went to st just picked up pantry home to drop off. i had to wait 'til 3 to go to main late hours. Ben helped me renew chrome. Ben called Cody so i could say hi. i decided to come home and go to sunny vale tomorrow.
