DOING WHAT I DO

NOT KNOWING WHAT DAY IT WAS I AWOKE AT 5:36.  WATCHED THE END OF THE YEAR CH. 5 SUNDAY MORNING.  ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DIED 2017.  I WENT TO G2, WALKED AROUND SAFEWAY.  NO $ BACK.  AT LEAST AT SELF CHECK.  ONLY @  WALMART. 

ON TO LUCKY'S I FOUND A JERKY I MISSED AND BOUGHT A NEWSPAPER. 

I'M FEELING SO BLESSED.  I HAVE TONS OF FOOD.  THE CAR IS GOOD.  I'M CURRENT WITH MY BILLS. 

AND I HAVE TOMORROW, NEW YEAR'S, FREE.

I GOT IT

T IS HIS MOM.  WHEN HE'S LEFT BEHIND HE FEELS ABANDONED LIKE WHEN HIS MOM WOULD LEAVE HIM TO VISIT THEIR HUGE FAMILY. 

HE BEHAVES JUST LIKE HER.  TOO BAD.  HE MAY END LIKE HER.  WILL I TELL HIM?  NAH!  HE WOULDN'T HEAR ME.

I AM A SURVIVOR

I SURVIVED THE EFFECTS OF MY FAMILY AND I AM SURVIVING.

SELF CONTROL=GOOD STRESS

MAMA (DELORISE LUCAS) ACKNOWLEDGED I HAD EXERCISED MY SELF CONTROL.

I HAD TO BE A SELF CONTROL NINJA TO LIVE WITH MY FAMILY.  TO SURVIVE.

SO TIRED

T IS FAMILY.  EXHAUSTING.  I WENT OVER YESTERDAY AS PLANNED AND HE WAS PRUNING THE FRONT ROSES.  VERY QUIET.  ROB WAS TAKING A WALK AND LOUISE WAS AT WORK 'TIL 7.

I WENT INSIDE AND STARTED HEATING THE HAM DINNER.  THE SCALLOP POTATOES, CANDIED YAMS, GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE.  I CARVED UP THE HAM AND PUT IT IN QUART ZIPLOCS.  I CALLED HIM TO EAT AND HE FUTZED AROUND.  TYPICAL MOODY T.  SO WE ATE AND I STARTED TO FIX ROB A PLATE AND TALKED ABOUT MAKING ONE FOR LOUISE OR I'D JUST LEAVE HALF THE FOOD.  HE GOT VERY UPSET.  HE BELIEVES THEY DON'T LIKE HIM AND TOLD ME TO TAKE EVERYTHING HOME  I LEFT HAM.  THEY'VE BEEN GOING AWAY WEEKENDS ON ROMANTIC GETAWAYS AND HE'S JEALOUS.  EVERYBODY HAS TO LOVE HIM MOST.  OH WELL.

SO LAST NIGHT I WAS EXHAUSTED.  COULDN'T SLEEP 'TIL 11 AND AWOKE @4.  SO I DROPPED OFF THE DVD MLIB AND CAME HOME.  FELL ASLEEP 2:30 WATCHING J. PEPIN. 

I'M TROLLING MOVIES AND RESTING MY BACK FROM PRUNING THE LEMON BUSH.

THE NEW ME

G2, TD NO ONE HOME.  HE TOLD ME WRONG.  HE WAS AT WORK.  AND DIDN'T CALL TO TELL ME.  SO I CAME HOME 1 PM AND TOOK APART THE TURKEY, COOKED THE MASHED QUITE GOOD MADE SANDWICH, HEATED SLICED TURKEY WITH ORANGE MARMALADE, ATE POTATO/BUTTER, APPLE PIE.  I DON'T HAVE TO HEAT TURKEY.

I HAD THE CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD AT LUNCH.  LOVELY LADIES BACK FROM TRIPS.

CLEANED UP EMAILS.  I HAD OLD ONES FROM LAST YEAR.

GOOD DAY.  COSTCO GAS TOMORROW.

BETTER & BETTER

I WENT TO G2 AFTER 8 AM.  I FOUND CLASSICAL STRETCH ON 54 @ 7:30.  PLAYED, SOAKED, EXERCISED. TOOK MY TIME TO B-SRS.

I GAVE GERTA THE CANDIED FRUIT.  SHE OFFERED TO PAY ME.  I TOLD HER LAWRENCE LUCKY'S, MERRY XMAS.  IT WAS ONLY $4.  ON MY WAY TO MLIB I THOUGHT I'D TRY SARATOGA STORE.  I GET THERE AND LOOK AT CARTS ANTICIPATING...  I FIND A BRAND NEW CAKE PAN W/NOTE TWO DAYS OLD SAYING CUSTOMER LEFT IT, MAY BE BACK.  DIDN'T COME BACK AND WHY WOULD THE STORE LEAVE IT OUTSIDE UNDER A CART IN THE LINE UP?  I PUT IT IN TRUNK.

I GO INSIDE AND BOUGHT 4 JINGLE BELL NECKLACES $.50 EA, 2 SPATULAS /$1, 1 LB. RED CANDIED CHERRIES $6.  THEY DIDN'T MARK DOWN YET.  SO THE REWARDS BALANCES THE DIFFERENCE.  AND THE CAKE PAN.

I WENT TO LIBRARY AND DROPPED OFF TWO DVDS, PICKED UP 1.

I CAME HOME AND WATERED PLANTS, PICKED AND TRIMMED LEMON, ATE ASIAN PORK CHOP FROM LUNCH.  GERTA GAVE ME HER EXTRA.  DELICIOUS WITH BREAD.  I COOKED BROWN/WILD RICE WITH EXTRA H2O AND LONGER COOKING TIME.  THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BOX ARE WRONG.

TYGJ.

WATCHING DOC MARTIN

IT TOOK ME 45 MIN TO GET INTO BLOGGER.  I THINK BECAUSE IT'S SO COLD.

THE DOCTOR IS OUT:  WATCHING DOC MARTIN HAS DRAMA, MYSTERY, SUSPENSE, COMEDY.

JEOPARDY AND WHEEL ARE ON LATE TONIGHT.  (FOOTBALL)  I HOPE I CAN STAY UP UNTIL 9.

I CHANGED THE BATTERIES IN THE SPIDER I BOUGHT YESTERDAY AT LUCKYS AND THE RED EYES LIGHT UP.

CHRISTMAS EVE

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE SO LONG.  I WAS SURE MY MOM WOULD KILL ME OR SOMETHING.  AND HERE I AM.

I WENT G2, LUCKY'S TURKEY DINNER SALE $19.99  CANDIED FRUIT $1-$.50, HALLOWEEN 1 1/2' BLACK SPIDER $1; AWESOME, HOME.  CALLED T SO FRUSTRATING.  INVITED ME JULIE'S TOO COLD AND NOISY.  I'D RATHER ENJOY TOMORROW DINNER.  I CHOOSE.

I TOOK HAM DINNER TO TD.  I'M KEEPING TURKEY DINNER.

GREAT DAY

AWOKE AT 5 WATCHED 3 STRESS WORK EPISODES, $V ZERO, G2 AT 8, RED PHONE FREAKING OUT, CALLED T NO PHONE, MICHAEL'S $2 BEADS, LUCKY'S HAM DINNER & FREE CANDY, HOME FOR BLACK PHONE, $ANTA CLARA BOUGHT POWER STEER, TARGET PAID BILL BOUGHT PISTACHIOS, TD DROPPED OFF HAM DINNER, BATTERY STORE NEW CHARGER, ON THE WAY HOME I REMEMBERED PIES AT SPROUTS.

WHEW!

I'M BACK.  I DID SO MUCH.  I'M READY FOR CHRISTMAS.

I JUST NOTICED

ON THE LIST OF POSTS THERE'S AN EYE THAT TELLS HOW MANY VIEWS OF EACH POST. 

THIS, THE END OF THE SECOND WEEK AT G2 IS TIRING AND OK.  I'D PREFER TO FEEL STRONGER BUT OH WELL. 

MONDAY IS CHRISTMAS.  G2 IS CLOSED.  WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?

I PLAN TO BUY HAM DINNER AT LUCKY'S.  THE EASY WAY.  FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE THE EASY WAY. 

I DO HAVE TONS OF DVDS TO WATCH. 

SUE/HARRY GAVE ME A COFFEE MUG FILLED W/CANDY.

I FOUND 3 SMALL  WOOD PICTURE FRAMES AND A NEW DREAM CATCHER HIGH ON A SHELF I PUT IN MY WORKOUT SUITCASE. WE GOT NEW MENUS SO I PUT MY JUICE ON TOP THE TABLE BEHIND US.

2 pm @home
SOMEONE TOOK MY PEACH FLAVORED PROPEL WATER WITHOUT US NOTICING.  IT'S A W TRICK.  JUST THE SORT OF ACTION MEANT TO TEASE-INTIMIDATE.  "SEE WHAT I CAN DO."  WHEN HE GETS CAUGHT HE PRETENDS IT WAS A JOKE.  HE STEALS OUT OF THE FOOD COLLECTION BINS AND GIVES IT TO PEOPLE AS IF HE BROUGHT IT.  AND MARY HELPS HIM.  MARY COMPLAINS ABOUT KIMO AND WAITS ON HIM HAND AND FOOT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.  LIKE A REALLY POINTLESS MARRIAGE.

INGA GOT ME EXTRA POTATOES AND GERTA GOT ME CHICKEN.  AND EXTRA MILK FOR GINNY, EVELYN, ALAMIDA.

WE'RE BLESSED.

FINALLY

I FIGURED OUT WHY MY CHEST HURTS.  MY OPEN HEART SURGERY WHEN I WAS 15 DIDN'T HURT WITH ALL THE DRUGS.  AND I NEVER STRAINED MYSELF.  I HEALED GENTLY AND GRADUALLY.  SO NOW, WITH THE STRETCHING I'M SORE.  AND IT'S INTERMITTENT BECAUSE OF THE LEVELS OF HEALING.

I STILL DON'T KNOW

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A CAR AND YESTERDAY I GOT JURY SUMMONS FOR WEEK BEGINNING JAN-22-TWM.

THE LAST TIME WAS 2004 WHEN I HAD AN IMPOSSIBLE TIME DRIVING MY 5 SPEED DUE TO MY BACK INJURY AND GOT THE COROLLA/ALARM SO I COULD LOCATE MY CAR IN THE PARKING GARAGE.  I ALARM-SCARED MYSELF SO MANY TIMES AND LOST THE ALARM AT THE MLIB. 

I GOT AS FAR AS FIRST ALTERNATE JUROR AND WAS DISMISSED.  I REALLY WANTED TO GET MY MATLOCK ON A CHILD MOLESTATION CASE.  ONE TIME IT WAS ON WIFE ABUSE.  I THOUGHT I WAS OK WITH MY ABUSIVE EX UNTIL UNDER CROSS INTERVIEW I BURST INTO TEARS AND WAS EMBARRASSED AND DISMISSED.

SOMETHING'S UP.

1:21pm  MY PHONE IS DRAINING.  I CAME HOME TO CHECK THE BATTERY BY CHARGING AT HOME.  THE PURSE CHARGER OR PHONE MAY BE NO GOOD.  I HAVE A PLAN.  IF IT'S THE PHONE I CAN CHANGE THE BATTERY AND SIM CARD INTO THE BLACK MOTOROLA.  I CAN ALWAYS PROGRAM THE RED ENVOY. 

DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE YOGA MAT?

MY PHONE SEEMS TO BE CHARGING OK.

OK, ERIC

DW-HEALING.  I WENT TO G2, THEN TO CARLOS AUTO.  HE DID A DIAGNOSTIC AND IT'S MY CAT CONVERTER.  HE RECOMMENDED I WAIT UNTIL SMOG CHECK TO FIX IT.

WHEW!!

I FIGURED IF HE WAS SUPERBUSY I COULD GO TO CIVIC AUTO:  FROM MECHANICSFILE.COM.  I DIDN'T NEED TO.

SO BACK ON TRACK.

DW-JOY

I WENT TO G2, LUCKY'S; PORK BUTT, GREENS, GRAPEFRUIT, 2 CARDS, $3 REWARDS.  PHONED PCH.

EVERYTHING IS GOING SO WELL.  DESPITE THE ENGINE LIGHT.

I HAVE A PLAN FOR TOMORROW.  I GOOGLED CARLOS AUTO REPAIR, MECHANICSFILE.  I'M HOPING FOR THE BEST, PREPARED FOR THE WORST.

I SWITCHED CHAIRS IN THE LIVING ROOM TO SAVE MY BACK AND LEGS.  I'VE BEEN PLANNING THE CLEAN-UP.  I'M TRYING TO PACE MYSELF.

I COOKED PORK LOIN IN MICRO.  IT WAS SO COLD AND DARK I WENT TO BED AT 8.

FEELS LIKE

I'M GROWING WINGS.  MY SHOULDER BLADES HURT SOOOO BAD.

I DROVE TO WALMART/MISSION, GOT LOST, THE CHECK ENGINE LIGHT CAME ON. BOUGHT MY WENSLEYDALE CHEESE,  $40 CASH, PAID $34 BILL.  SO DEPRESSED,  ERIC DIED JUNE, ANOTHER RESPONSIBILITY WHEN I DON'T WANT TO RESPOND.

I CALLED T.  CARLOS DOESN'T WORK WEEKENDS.  T CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE MECH'S NAME?  OH, WELL.  MONDAY THEN.

I'M FEELING VERY ANXIOUS. 

EVELYN G

THE SECOND PERSON TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME.

I'M CONTENT WITH WHO I AM. I HAVE ME.

HOW I MAKE THIS A BETTER WORLD IS THE QUEST.

EVELYN THANKED ME TODAY FOR SUGGESTING HOLDING BABIES AT THE NEONATAL.  SHE'S BEEN 3 DAYS THIS WEEK AND LOVES IT.

I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY AND HELP ONE ANOTHER.  THEN HAPPINESS WILL ABOUND AND WAR AND CONFLICT WON'T EXIST.

I'M GETTING IT

I'M GETTING THE HANG OF IT. 

HOW QUICKLY I FORGET.  I WAS STRESSING OVER NOT RECEIVING MY MEDICARE BILL AND CALLED MONDAY.  FOUND OUT SOCIAL SECURITY IS SEPARATE FROM MEDICARE.  THEY COULDN'T HELP ME.  THERE'S NO PENALTY UNTIL AFTER A MONTH OVERDUE.

TODAY I GOT MEDICARE AND A LETTER AND $25 FROM AUNTY.  HER 90TH B-DAY WAS THE 9TH.  HOW GREAT IS THAT?  DAD WOULD HAVE BEEN 97. 

SO REAL

THIRD DAY OF 24 HR FITNESS.  IT'S CAUSING MORE FUEL CONSUMPTION BECAUSE OF THE EARLY MORNING (6AM) FREEZING TEMPERATURES.  I'M BURNING MORE GAS.  AND THE EXTRA DRIVING AS WELL.

MONDAY I TIDIED THE FRONT PORCH AND MY NECK AND BACK ARE VERY SORE.  FEELS LIKE WHIPLASH.

THE AFTERNOON WEATHER HAS BEEN INCREDIBLY GREAT.  I DON'T RECALL EVER ENJOYING IT MORE.

 SO WHAT AM I DOING AT THE LIBRARY?  I HAD TO RETURN CHROME AND THERE ARE AVAILABLE SO I CHECKED IT OUT AGAIN. 

THE BOOK I REQUESTED GOT MIXED UP WITH ANOTHER AND HAD TO STRAIGHTEN THAT OUT TOO.

TOO COLD?

CHROME BOOK CAN'T LOG ON.  I'M FINE.  I'M WEARING MY LEGGINGS.

SO I'M BACK AT SRS.  WATCHING DVDS AT 2X. 

THIS IS THE FIRST OF THREE WEEKS AT 24 FITNESS.  I'M SO BLESSED TO HAVE OPTIONS.  IT WAS 40o's THIS AM AT 6.  AND THE AFT 68-70.  TYGJ.

still improving

I HOPE. 

I'M SO SLEEY AND TIRED.  COULD BE FROM FEELING MORE RELAXED.  I HOPE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.  MYS ELF. 

OH, WELL. 

I WENT TO ST J.  WIND CHIME; HUMMING BIRD, STAINED GLASS DESIGN.  $1.

I GUESS I COULD GO ANYWHERE.

A YR OLDER

AND I HOPE WISER.

WHEN I WAS 16 EVERYONE IN SCHOOL WANTED TO BE MARINE BIOLOGISTS, DOCTORS, ETC. AND I WANTED TO BE WISE.  I HOPE I'M ON THE RIGHT PATH.

THE LIBRARY RENEWED THE CHROME BOOK SO I RETURNED THE HOT SPOT I DIDN'T WANT TO MESS WITH AND CANCELLED THE OTHER BOOK. 

MCCALL SMITH HAS A NEW BOOK, HOUSE OF SISTERS.  I'M FIRST IN LINE.

NEW ME

I WENT G2 @7 AND SNAGGED THE TV GUIDE AND PUZZLES!  I TOOK MY TIME DOING WHAT I WANT.  SORTING PAPERS IN MY PURSE.

SFWY, 3 CLEARANCE BOTTLE COVERS $3.13.  ON TO LUCKYS FOR MUSHROOMS, SALAD, ANGUS STEAK, INSTANT NACHO  POTATOES.

I WENT

AFTER SRS I DROVE TO FRANKLIN PO TO MAIL LIFE INS. BUT IT WAS CLOSED SO I PUT IT IN MY PURSE.  I WALKED TO MISLIB FOR CELEBRATION, BOUGHT BOOK, ATE CAKE, LISTENED TO BANJO BAND.  I WENT HOME FOR PORK CHOP LUNCH.

DROVE TO J. MONACK MEMORIAL 999 STARFLOWER CT. 94086.  AS I ARRIVE POSTMAN WALKS UP, I MAIL INS. 

MONICA, JIMMY, BONNIE AS GRACIOUS AS EVER.  VISITED A BIT,  REMINISCED.  MONICA GOOD MORNING STARSHINE=YABBA DABBA DOO=FLINTSTONES,  STILL HAS SCAR FROM NO STITCHES=SUTURES. 

I DRIVE TO FAIR/OLD SF FLUFF FOLD.  $V LOOKING FOR GLUCOSAMINE (0). HOME.

I FINALLY FEEL HOME.

SLOW PCH

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CHROMEBOOK BUT IT'S THE WEBSITE.

I'M NOT COMPULSIVE/OBSESSIVE AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT.  I GOT SO MUCH ACCOMPLISHED. 

I WROTE OUT BILLS, STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED WRITING AUNTY'S LETTER. 

I FOUND OUT NORTHERN DENTAL=WESTERN.  I GUESS I'LL ASK FOR A RECOMMENDATION FROM CAREMORE. 

I CLICKED ON LEFT TO RIGHT TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN AND IT'S MOVING THE PAGE LEFT.

IF ONLY

IF I WERE TWINS I COULD HAVE TWICE AS MUCH FUN.  I ENJOY DOING.  I'VE HAD A PRODUCTIVE WEEK.

LAUNDRY, SHOPPING, LIBRARIES AND BLOGGING.  EXERCISING HAS BECOME AS  NECESSARY AS EATING AND SLEEPING.

I WONDER AT PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE FEELING GOOD.  OR MAYBE THEY DON'T FEEL ANYTHING OR WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING.   DENIAL WILL DO IT.