ALL IS ATTITUDE

MOM TOLD ME IT'S NOT THE WHAT BUT THE HOW.  IF A PERSON TRULY IS TRYING TO HELP, ULTIMATELY ONLY GOOD CAN COME. 

WHETHER A PERSON BLESSES THEIR LIFE INFUSES GOOD VIBES INTO THEIR BEING AND  SURROUNDINGS.  WE'RE JUST MOLECULES IN MOTION.  BLESSING FOOD IS A GOOD EXAMPLE.  SO MANY PEOPLE CURSE WHAT THEY EAT BY COMPLAINING. 

YESTERDAY 2:30 MEMORIAL DAY T INVITES ME TO G'S BDAY(5-27) DINNER @5-5:30 PICKUP.  I WONDERED THAT HE OFFERED.  I TOLD HIM I WASN'T DRIVING, RESTING MY BACK.  I HAD A MIRACLE 12 HR HEADCOLD SUNDAY.  I AWOKE 3:30 AM SNEEZING MAYBE 12 TIMES.  AND I KEPT SNEEZING AND BLOWING MY NOSE.  ALL DAY.  NOT ALLERGIES.  I WENT TO G2 TO CONFIRM IN DUST FREE ZONE.  WENT HOME HAD SALAD, TOOK VITC, ATE ORANGE.  FELL ASLEEP TV AND WHEN I AWOKE @ 3:30PM MY COLD WAS GONE. 

HE PICKED ME UP 4:45 W/D&S IN HIS CAR.  I WAS OUTSIDE ALREADY BRINGING IN BINS THEN WE WENT TO PICK UP G.  I GAVE G $25 FANDANGO CARD.  IF I'D KNOWN SD WERE GOING TO BE THERE I WOULD HAVE PASSED.  AMBUSHED.  PACKED LIKE SARDINES.  T TRIES TO CONVINCE ME D'S VAN SAME SIZE.  ROB CRUNCHED THE RT BACK BUMPER.  SD COMPLAINED ROB SPLASHED THEM W/HOT GREASE.  HE WANTED TO LEARN TO MAKE EMPANADAS.  THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE THE FRYING THEMSELVES BUT THEY GAVE HIM THE JOB SO THEY COULD COMPLAIN.  THEN TWO WEEKS LATER THEY'RE STILL REHASHING TO ASSUAGE THEIR LAZY GUILT. 

S'S FLIGHT CANCELLED AT NOON.  T PICKED HER UP FROM AIRPORT.  SO THEY LEECHED ONTO T. 

AND COUNTRY KIT HAD HOLIDAY STAFF SO NO CRAB MELT. 

OH WELL.  I HAD FISH CHIPS W/MASH.  THEY GAVE ME FRIES FOR HOME.  ANOTHER DAY.



LOVELY.

D&S TALKED ROB TRASH TO EMBARRASS T.  HE SPLASHED HOT OIL ON THEM?  TRYING TO MAKE EMPANADAS.  AT LEAST HE TRIED. 

T'S SO SCREWED.

NEW MACHETE

I WENT TO OSH AFTER HALF HOUR IN THE FRONT YARD.  THE WIND IS BLUSTERY.  TRADE WINDS.  I BOUGHT MYSELF A NEW MACHETE AND LEFT THE OLD TO BE SHARPENED.

I AWOKE HOLDING THE FAMILY SHAME.  1995 NORA MONACO WARNED THAT I WAS CARRYING THEIR PROJECTED SHAME AND GUILT.  AND IT'S BACK.  THE FAMILY LEGACY I DON'T WANT AND LOVINGLY RETURN TO THEM INDIVIDUALLY AND AND TOGETHER.

 

CELLULAR FATIGUE

GROWING AND CHANGE TAKE SO MUCH ENERGY.

AS I SIT AT SRS I GATHER MY ENERGIES, CONSIDERING WHAT TO DO TODAY.  I'M FEELING CALMER AND RESIGNED TO MY LIFE. 

IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY I WON'T RECOGNIZE IT WHEN I GET IT.  I TURN IT OVER TO GJ.  SPIRIT KNOWS MY HEART.  THAT'S WHERE MY HAPPINESS RESIDES. 

I'VE ENJOYED WATCHING FOREVER GREEN AND THE FACT THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER CREATING.  ACCORDING TO IMBD.  THEY ARE MY HOPE TO FINDING HAPPINESS, LOVE. 

I DID WHEEL, BLOG, NEED TO RETURN CMPBLIB, FORGOT DVDS AND HAD TO GO BACK...STILL TIRED.  SLEEP DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER.  MY CELLS ARE TIRED. 

CELLULAR FATIGUE.  I NEED TO FOCUS ON CONVERTING DETRITUS TO PURE ENERGY.  THE PAST TO THE PRESENT TO THE FUTURE...

TOO MUCH?

IS TOO MUCH POSSIBLE?

I'm healing issues I didn't know I had.  wow, this corrects capital I automatically.  e.e. Cummings would freak.

I'm still working on loving my life.  I can look around and appreciate the beauty of living things and the wind and sky but my life?  not what I would consciously choose...  the operative word conscious.

and people, the least of god's creations.  maybe he was tired if he had to rest. 

huh, that doesn't make sense does it??

I've been blissfully watching episodes of forever green, alderton/Collins, and checking monopoly pieces.  hurray!!

tygj

AUG31-12...

THE DAILY WORD WAS I LOVE MY LIFE.  AND I'VE BEEN TRYING EVER SINCE.  I DO BETTER SOME DAYS THAN OTHERS.  WHEN ONE HAS LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE WITH HAPPINESS IT'S HARD......

HAVING PEOPLE LOVE ME NOW IS PAINFUL.  I FEEL RAW.  I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND.  IT'S SUCH NEW TERRITORY.

I'M WILLING TO LEARN.

MONOPOLY HAS VANISHED

WELL I CAN'T ENTER ANY MORE CODES.  THE WEBSITE IS GONE.  POOF! 

SO I KNOW NEXT YEAR, IF I PLAY, TO ENTER CODES DAILY. 

EH, LIVE AND LEARN. 

AND THE MEEK (TEACHABLE) ARE INHERITING THE EARTH. 

SENSITIVE MAN....

INSENSITIVE WOMAN.  THAT'S WHAT PLAYED IN MY HEAD THIS AM.  SOMETHING TO PONDER. 

I'M AT THE LIBRARY HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME.  I WENT TO G2-SFWY 3 CROISSANTS, REMEMBERED TARGET $1.41, PAID IT AND ARRIVED AT SRS WITH 5 MINUTES TO SPARE.   I COMPUTERED, GOT SUSPENDED IN MONOPOLY, CALLED CUSTOMER SUPPORT, TALKED TO DAWN.  I TOOK A BREAK AND ATE TWO CROISSANTS. 

SO I WENT BACK IN AND WATCHED FOREVER GREEN FOR TWO HOURS.  TIME FOR A BREAK. 

I FOUND OUT FROM DAWN THERE'S A LIMIT ON HOW MANY NUMBERS CAN BE ENTERED EACH DAY AND I SHOULDN'T SAVE THEM UP.  I'M SUPPOSED TO ENTER THEM DAILY.  NOW I KNOW FOR NEXT YEAR.  LAST YEAR I DIDN'T HAVE SO MANY, I WAS TOO SICK. 

I SAW ART ON THE WAY OUT AND HE HAD A VTA CARD HOLDER SO I WENT TO CHECK OUT THE SR FAIR.  THEY HAD A WALKING BINGO GAME AND I COMPLETELY ZONED ON THE CARD HOLDER.  OH, WELL... THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR. 

I'M SOOOOO MUCH BETTER.  I HAVE TO FOCUS ON MY HEALTH. 

I GOT LUNCH AT BKING:  JR AND NUGGETS.  I WAS STARVING WHEN I GOT TO MLIB AND ATE THE JR AND HALF THE NUGGETS.  I'VE BEEN EXERCISING MORE.  I WATCHED MORE FG AND HAD MY SNACK OF THE REMAINING.  AND I'M BACK.

HOW HEAVENLY IS THIS.....😊💲EMOJIS.  🙏🙏🙏  THEY ALL PRINT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PIECE AND HAVE TO BE INSERTED.  CUT AND PASTE.  I MADE MYSELF LAUGH. 
♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛

SPRING FEVER

I THOUGHT I HAD SPRING FEVER BUT IT WAS A COMBINATION OF MOM'S DEATHOVERSARY AND ALLERGIES.

CSAA SENT ME A LOVELY LETTER LISTING MY EMERGENCY CALLS AND NOTIFYING ME I ONLY HAD ONE MORE TIL 9-16.  SO I GET 4 NOW. 

I'VE DECIDED NO MORE MONOPOLY TICKETS.  I STILL HAVE TO LOG AND CHECK TWO BOXES. 

I AM BLESSED.  TYGJ.

HEAVEN DAY

I CALLED T @ 8:06 AND LILY CALLED B4 TO WISH HIM H-BDAY.  I HAD LUNCH.  I SAVED PC OF CAKE MALITET GAVE ME.  HELENE ATE HERS.   

I GOT LEFT OVER PORK AND SALAD.  I ATE AT 3-3:40.  YUM.  WATCHING BRIT COMS,  AND FEELING HAPPY. 

TYGJ.

WEIRD!!

THE INTERNET IS DOING STRANGE THINGS.  WHEN I TRIED TO SIGN IN I WENT TO YAHOO MALAYSIA, PHILIPPINES, ETC. USING ALL MY ACCOUNTS TRYING TO LOG IN.  GOING ROUND AND ROUND.  THE HELP PAGE SAID LOG OFF, TRY A DIFFERENT BROWSER SO I DID.

I KNEW WHAT IT MEANT!!

AND HERE I AM.  DOING MY JOB.  IMMORTALIZING MY EXPERIENCES.

THE LOOK IS BIGGER, BRIGHTER.  THE SETTINGS HAVE SHIFTED.  IT'S VERY SUBTLE.  I HAVE TO LOOK FOR THE LINKS.  THE DEFAULT IS NO LONGER TO POSTS, IT GOES TO STATS.

T IS PLANNING ON COMING OVER.  WE'LL SEE.  TOMORROW IS SUPPOSED TO BE COOLER.  95o YESTERDAY.  WHEW!!  I STAYED AT MLIB TIL 6:45PM.  HOME FOR JEO.  BED 8:30.

4DIMES EXORCISM

WHILE MOM AND DAD ARE PENNIES WHILE UNCLE IS BRIGHT SHINY DIMES.  MESSAGES FROM HEAVEN.

MY DEPRESSION IS LESSENING THE MORE I REPROGRAM MY BRAIN.

I SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WHILE DRIVING HERE (SRS) TALKING TO HIMSELF AND GESTICULATING.  THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE AROUND.  I GUESS WE HAVE TO EXORCISE THE PARENTAL OVER RIDES.  HE REMINDED ME OF THE WORK I STILL HAVE TO DO.

I'VE BEEN VISUALIZING WHAT I WANT TO SEE.  I HAVE TO IMAGINE THE FEELING TO ACCOMPANY MY HEAVEN.  FUNNY THERE'S NO WORD FOR PROJECTING YOUR FEELINGS.  WHAT DO I WANT TO FEEL.

WHAT DO I WANT TO FEEL?

perpetual paranoia

MY PARENTS DIDN'T HATE ME.  THEY WERE CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.  AND DEPRESSING. 


ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THEY HATED ME BECAUSE I WAS DIFFERENT AND I WAS.  I WASN'T DEPRESSED SO THEY TORTURED AND ABUSED ME TO BRING ME DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL.  IN MY BEST INTERESTS SO I WOULDN'T STAND OUT.  A PERVERSE FORM OF PROTECTION. 


AND MY SISTERS ARE JUST MEAN AND TRYING TO SURVIVE THE BEST THEY CAN, WHICH ISN'T VERY WELL. 


I WONDER IF THEY REALIZE THEY HAVE CHOICES?


I'M WONDERFUL, FULL OF WONDER. 

OH, YEAH.  YESTERDAY WAS MOM'S BDAY.