I UNDERSTAND THE GLAMOUR-Ipad

There's a sense of connection with the internet.  It's another false addiction.  For one thing it can spellcheck, it's an instant gratification, it's the illusion of company without any requirements.  No real connection requiring any real response. And the ease. So easy!

People with no experience of connectedness will be enchanted.  They live in families with unspoken contracts.  Their definition of connection.

And the ease of writing.  The false sense of doing, creating that's empty.  Yet it seems real because it takes up space.  The appearance of reality.

And the emojis.  One picture for words.  To easy, too simple.

TEETH OF THE HYDRA

T SHOWS ME WHAT MY LIFE MIGHT HAVE BEEN IF I'D BEEN LEFT IN HAWAII.  HIS FAMILY CONSUMES HIM.

WATCHED MY BLIND BROTHER.  BECAUSE OF GUILT BILL THE OLDER BROTHER TAKES CARE OF HIS YOUNGER BLIND BROTHER WHO'S A JERK.  WHEN THEY WERE KIDS THEY HAD A DIVING CONTEST AND BILL WON WHILE JERK HIT HIS HEAD ON THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL.  THE PARENTS IDOLIZE JERK AND COERCE BILL INTO DOING EVERYTHING JERK WANTS.  JERK WANTS TO DRIVE SO THEY LET HIM.  THEY ENCOURAGE JERK TO DO MARATHONS THAT BILL HAS TO DO ALSO TO GUIDE JERK.  BILL'S LIFE IS SERVICE TO A MEAN AND JEALOUS GOD.  BILL GETS ZERO ACKNOWLEDGMENT FOR HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS. BILL CAN SEE SO RUNNING 26 MILES IS DISCOUNTED. 

THROUGH A SET OF ACCIDENTS BILL MEETS HIS PERFECT WOMAN.

MY LIFE UNCONSCIOUS.  T'S LIFE NOW. 

HE LIES-ROB

I'VE DETERMINED BASED ON BEHAVIOR THIS WEEKEND THAT HE TOLD ME 30 YRS AGO HE HAD A SON AND NOW HE'S LYING ABOUT TELLING ME.


HE CLAIMS HE WAS JOKING FOR A WEEK.  HE WAS TOO SERIOUS AT THE TIME AND THERE WAS NO PUNCH LINE.


BE WARNED AND AWARE.  PRAY FOR ALL CONCERNED ESPECIALLY ME.

CHOICES

I'M VERY CLEAR WE CONSTRUCT OUR REALITY BY OUR CHOICES.  WE CAN CHOOSE TO IGNORE REALITY AND CONSTRUCT AN IMAGINARY LIFE THAT DOESN'T EXIST EXCEPT IN THE MIND. 

THE PHYSICAL RESULTS ARE THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION.  SO MANY PEOPLE LAMENT THE PRODUCT OF THEIR IMAGINATION CHOOSING TO BELIEVE IT'S A COMPLETE SURPRISE RATHER THAN THE LOGICAL RESULT OF THEIR CHOICES.

THAT'S CRAZY.

CRAZY OLD LADY

I GET TO BE MYSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME.  AGE HAS CLOAKED ME IN THE ARMOR OF AGE.  I CAN GET AWAY WITH BEING MYSELF AND STANDING UP FOR MYSELF. 

I'VE NEVER FELT FREE TO BE ME!!!

MAYBE I AM CRAZY, IT JUST FEELS RIGHT.

SUNDAY AFTER THE GYM I PARKED AT LUCKY'S AND A MAN IN A SUV HEADED FOR THE SAME SPOT MOTIONED FOR ME TO MOVE, GESTURING AT ALL THE EMPTY SPOTS AROUND.  I ADMIT I GOT IRRITATED AND GESTURED BACK TO HIM ALL THE EMPTY SPOTS HE COULD PARK IN.  HE THEN GESTURED I WAS CRAZY. 

I HAD ALREADY SET THE PARKING BRAKE AND TURNED OFF THE CAR.  SO WHO WAS CRAZY.  AND DOES A SMART PERSON GESTURE ANY THING AT A CRAZY PERSON.

THE TERRIBLE TWO'S

DAD AND ALL LIKE HIM DISRESPECT ME WHEN THEY REVERT TO TWO YEAR OLD BEHAVIOR AND AS THEY BE THEY HAVE.

WITH TWO YEAR OLD BEHAVIOR COMES TWO YEAR OLD CONSEQUENCES.  ARE THEY READY FOR THAT.

SO MANY SENIORS HAVE A HORRIBLE END OF LIFE BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THEY ARE OUTSIDE THE RULES THAT EVERYONE HAS TO FOLLOW. 

IT'S GOOD I LIKE RULES.  I FIND RULES COMFORTING.  I FEEL SECURE FOLLOWING RULES.  I KNOW THE PROBABLE OUTCOME.

HEALING-DW MONDAY 12/12

THE FIRST DAY OF SRS SPA CLOSED.  I'VE BEEN TO ST J, LUCKY'S FOR MY FREE COFFEE, AND RETURNED THE SJ DVDS.  I'M AT THE ROSE GARDEN LIBRARY.

AND I'M THINKING OF 24 HOUR FITNESS.  AND I'M OFF.

I STILL HAVE MY FREE CHILI'S DESSERT TO PICK UP.

STAYING HUMBLE

TODAY I GOT TO SRS AND LOCKED MY PURSE IN THE CAR WITH ALL MY KEYS.

THE GOOD PART WAS CSAA WASN'T BUSY AT 7:26 SO I WAS BACK INSIDE BY 8.

I WAS TOO EXCITED TO PUZZLE SO I TUBBED. 

THIS SITE IS DOING STRANGE THINGS TODAY.  I'M GOING TO PAY CITI.

SAYING NO

SAYING NO OR DECLINING IS SAYING YEAS TO OTHER THINGS.