I feel sad thinking how many have blackened their souls

planning my lawyer meeting reminds me 2001 greedy sisters making my life beyond HELL.  Aiko standing over me claiming to be the devil.  CRAZY.

Karen Kuek reminds me of my greedy sisters.  I'll pray for us all.  I'm so tired I can't think.  

dog eat wolf world-SALA called

v-m Rosie called to confirm Wednesday app.  Mon closed Tue 8-1:30.  

I went to St Just they had eggs I got pantry came home.  huge strawberry cheesecake, groceries.  Eh.  bought 1 glucosamine, C, cough, biotin, 2 riblet lunch and dinner, brush for trunk sycamore seeds at $tree.  I organized food, prepped some broccoli.  delicious.  

first at G-Lucky's

I got the first free Garden 1 oz veggie sticks.  I walked the store.  they're so disorganized.  

I decided game shows are first, everything else scheduled around shows.  libraries weekends.  I love fun facts.  

Mallory is a Saboteur.  explains so much.  the b who trashed the puzzle was at the table after lunch, pieces thrown, coffee cup and phone, I asked did she read English she said yes and wasn't eating so she knew, then said she needed the outlet I pointed out the one next to the chair she sat in all morning.  a liar and ugly disrespectful cheat.  she's dead.  when I told Mallory she ignored me she's dead to me too.  like Jess not believing chuck over Louie.  makes my life simpler.  she's mean and only does the least- minimum.  she says she doesn't do anything she knows who to send them to.  I quit.  

where would I prefer to be instead of seniors?  

saboteurs

ah, my family.  the puzzle was trashed, I don't care I'll start over.  so like my family.  unfortunately I'm used to it.   

met Fong and Aya nursing students.  they assisted bingo then BP.  

Glory came to lunch and is looking for housing r/t an attorney.  she didn't stay oh, well.  I can only do what I can do.  I called her mail to say I was up stairs she left to get gas no respect no heads up.  I will keep SALA info in car just in case.  she says she won't be back 'til next week.  

took me an hour to find my car papers looking everywhere and then 10 min to find SALA in chrome bag.  I put my Susan Cancilier case in trunk.

I deserve something special.  I'm having a horrible time processing the memories of betrayal and losing my entire family.  

storm blowing in

it matches my upset stomach pain everywhere.  

I'm hating the replacements on jeopardy and wheel.  oh, well.  

last Wednesday Glory confided she's experiencing the same threats of physical violence and eviction I received from my sisters.  I shared my experience of retaining a lawyer and documenting with times, dates and conversations, anything written saved to substantiate the abuse.  hopefully it won't be as bad.  but unlikely.  when my parents died and my sisters betrayed me I shouldn't have been surprised.  I knew they only came around for money.  it felt like my entire family was dead.  I lived in a pretend world until I had to admit to myself how they really were.  I'm still suffering.  I can't tell anyone she's so ashamed.  she feels it's her fault.  

lunch good cooked BBQ chicken I got Walter's extra sweet potatoes, slaw, fruit cup, bread.  and bingo was the best ever.  Elizabeth came 10 minutes late and Mallory helped.  I've never enjoyed a class more not even kindergarten.

I released 6 lbs

I'm loving the Van Gogh almond blossoms puzzle.  I find it relaxing and calming.  I'm enjoying the journey.  

my body hurts everywhere.  my ribs feel broken.  from the coughing.  I'm drinking cold brew chamomile.  it's helping my breathing.  

so sick from pollution

Friday the trees on the patio dropped pollen into my to go box and Saturday I was miserable from being poisoned.  I haven't been this sick since 1985-86 Gilroy's alfalfa harvests.  I'd always get flu like symptoms.  then I moved to San Jose.  

this morning I was going to call in sick then around 8 am I felt fine.  still a lot of chest congestion.  last week I started looking for my chamomile just because it's a cleaner stimulant than caffeine for me.  and today I remembered I had some in storage.  Ta Da!  when mom had bronchitis twice then pneunomonia her ob GYN prescribed chamomile as a natural expectorant.  she was already on a lot of drugs.  I had it growing in the back yard such a pretty plant.  

my stomach is so messed up from the mucus.  

free Fiji water and a quarter-2nd day pollution

my eyes are burning my sinuses hurting the second morning waking coughing and congested.  the shower is the only place of relief.  

The new Lucky's format is not logical probably AI.  AI leen.  they try to cut costs by firing people like trump then they have no idea how to solve the glitches.  

trump is removing people and dismantling government for fewer witnesses and to create chaos.  he's creating a catastrophe to star in.  so tv.  

I discovered Idiot test is on 1-2.  I can do that.  

Inge gave me free ticket to BBQ one of her admirers had to cancel.  

feeling so sick from allergies.  eating plant fighting nausea.  I ate beef noodle lunch and picked up Costco sausage lunch.  Ken and Toki holding table Trudy in line I gave her first refusal on Splenda and we laughed I finally found it.  Fred and Debbie showed up.  lots of city people for Jessica's retirement.  I said goodbye to everyone like a social able. 

baking cups, glucose from $tree.  

loveliest day yesterday-Bratolo and Adela working on Todd's fence.

I'm still basking in the glow.  

I misplaced my key and ID so I got a temp from the front desk.  lilac pass from Miranda.  

found everything.  Bratolo and Adela still working on Todd's fence.  

redoing wednesday-2 police cruisers stopped Todd's sidewalk

Bratolo parked in my driveway maybe triggered call.  I got a lot done organizing car.  house so cold car perfect warm.  

Walter's sis anxiety-Bartolo fixing Dave and Betty Todd fence-2 cop cars

3 panels blew down last storm.  I got home 1:45.  I went out with recycle and Bartolo threw 2 dirty cement bags and stick I put in garbage and moved bin to fence.  get it right.  I won't confront Bart 'cause he lies, he's tried excuses before.  ah, the skin cancer.  

2 cop cars and officers parked next to Todd yard.  huh.

Walter agreed to change his sister's car battery.  and he's stressed.  tried to use me to distract him instead of confronting his anxiety.  I suggested he critical path management his next major project.  he was testing me.  I passed.  

happy b'day dad-Bartolo yd work

watching 'Everybody Loves Raymond' is not 'Father Knows Best'.  comparing and contrasting.

10 minutes to sunny library

sounds like sci-Fi rocket trip.  I dissolved nicotine in an 8 oz bottle of water.  just right.  I put out the garbage bin.  I'm feeling energized.  I woke 7 am.  7.  I haven't felt this good maybe ever.  thinking back over my life I was very miserable.  I must have a lot of company or 'Les Miz' wouldn't be so popular.  makes people think better of their own lives.  

I wonder if my situation is common where I feel better internally as my body is breaking down.  would explain seniors misjudging and falling.  research shows new glasses prescriptions cause a lot of falls.  

There must be a lot of people interested in the book sale.  I was the second car.  or maybe the van is homeless.  they probably always existed but became apparent when Cal Gov R Reagan closed the mental facilities and kicked patients to the curb.  literally.  I'm sure cost cutting saving money by sacrificing people caused his dementia.  nope they're leaving.  the line was all the way across the plaza.  I checked and I found 1 microwave cookbook.  I finished 1 puzzle and took my time going home to marathon Ozzie and Harriet.  

I'm getting ready for tomorrow.  3 pm I had to park across neighbors running a go cart in the street.  probably illegal.  tv reception spotty due to storm due tonight.  

Nausea despite the sun shining 46 degrees

just like '72.  it's the cold temps.  and my spine hurting.  back then I had killer cramps.  I couldn't eat or sleep.  and major post nasal drip.  

I stopped at Panera for b'fast bacon spinach souffle.  I'm finally hungry.

I just spent 2 hours at the book sale.  23 dvd's for $5.  tomorrow Sunny book sale at noon.  1 pm I'm eating my St Just lunch from Chris.  he gave me a weekend bag.  I didn't have to ask.  central library puzzle is really boring succulents.  I'm perusing magazines Trudy has given me.  

I feel wonderfully relaxed and content.  Lee from senior center was here.  Idiot test is on 5 pm for 2 hours.  

dark cold stormy Alice's White Queen

I finally got in to Lucky rewards.  I have to work twice as hard, twice as long to stay in the same place.  I'm in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass.  or both.

I don't mind the inevitability of aging but come on don't make it harder and harder.  consumer cellular changed their format too.  I tried to pay my bill online then by phone and ended up calling their customer service Sandy.  I finally remembered my secret code or I would have been locked out of that too.  then they cut me off.  hung up on me.  

my music plays when the internet is cut.  but the blog won't update.  weird.  selective service what they used to call the Vietnam War draft.  

Toki asked for Lucky's cabbage.  I forgot Friday free orange coke.  I felt exhausted from the computer reset.  my brain was so tired.  I picked up 2 heads $1.34 and had a nice walk.  6 clearance Kalahari jerky $4.50 ea and pork fried rice $5.39.  dropped off cabbage then Puzzler.

3 pm i decided to return overdue books to Sunny.  stopped at Sprouts pie day cherry $3.14 and cornbread $4.99 and 6 coconut 'bacon' 99 cents each.  fun fun silly willy.  

dark cold rainy

too much like collision weather.  and some are still speeding.  scary.  

I'm still attempting to use Lucky's rewards log in page.  Google even says it's blocked.  it's not me.

Cody checked in and out my chrome hurrah!  10:30 bingo, bingo, bingo!  we laugh a lot.  so much better in a group.

no Toki at lunch, Fred said she had an appointment.  and she called 9:32 am while I was exercising.  

2:29 sitting down.  I've been so afraid to clean and organize.  the sisters have stolen so much already and I get so depressed when I find more missing.  they all stole from me.  my 4 ft fluorescent tube lights and swim gear are gone.  

so it appears I stalled out 2020 from the paperwork I'm clearing.  COVID lock down.  

dark cold windy DST 6:54 am

late opening door.  and yet they stand outside.  I just don't understand.  

yesterday I came home to a hummingbird nest by the front porch.  I wonder if she'll still be there when I get home.  no protection from the storm coming in.  

bingo exercise today!  I won 1, home 2:30 People Puzzler.  perfect.

just occurred to me Karen Kuek insurance didn't make her whole the purpose of insurance.

I name the hummingbird Rainbow.  actually north side is protected from southern storm.  I told the skylight guy to prepare for southern hurricanes.  3 pm it's blowing hard.  Hawaii.  I'm charging everything just in case.  phone and chrome.  

I slept------Duc (Duke-"virtue") at CSAA

huge difference.  I fixed the rip in my Wilcox book bag.  I didn't take it apart (old behavior) I just stitched it (new behavior).  can't see it.  

Walter got me extra meal.  he's thinking outside himself.  combined with mine enough food for 3 days.  and the veg rice has edamame and egg.  I thought it was just egg.  dinner and b'fast.

on to CSAA to fax to Mr Kohlwaies.  I drove the long, safe, slow way.  and I remembered to pick up local map.  home 2 pm after considering and discounting shopping Savers.  Hurray! Me!  I'm caring for Myself.

spoke to stephen kohlwaies-(kolewice)

I'm still feeling terrified.  all the fear from my family trying to destroy me over and over is bubbling up.  

BALANCE

I finished puzzle to calm myself, soaked, exercised.  yard sale next to library I walked back to unfriendly.  in the fire hydrant area full of shepherds purse.  perfect since none at Sunnyvale sprouts.  

St just lunch pickup I thanked Eileen and what a difference in my back.  I got extra chips and a quart of chocolate milk.  my inner child is happy.

I still can't get into my Lucky account.  oh, well.  and I've been so upset I forgot to eat breakfast, wasn't hungry.  

Friday freebie-locked out of rewards-letter "accident guys"

after an hour they over rode computer.  I'm locked out of my Lucky's account.  weird energy.  

Csaa being sued for more money.  the nerve.  she hired attorneys 2/14/25.  I have to put together the accident papers.  

hey, it's a trump world.  he's trying to take over Iceland, Ukraine, he's power mad.  he can't handle one country.  he'll over extend and implode.

I keep thinking Thursdays are Fridays.  I'm ready for weekending.

received a letter saying she was injured and how much coverage.  

6:50 am free 46 degrees

oh, Bliss.  I puzzled and soaked 9 am, Cody Bookmobile 2 movies, bingo exercise Trudy won once and Ken and I more energy winners and lunch was a party.  Fred gave me spice cake walnuts he's allergic to held the table.  Toki and Walter.  Florence and Inge gave us sweets I shared offered to all.  Elizabeth gave birthday hostess 2 cupcake I offered to Toki didn't want suggested I give to Ken.  I gave Inge's strawberry bite to Florence and Donchey.  I love lunch party.  

I found misplaced pink car key and Costco bill.  Whew!  

6 pm best dinner toasted tuna cheese tomato slices on Parmesan olive bread.  I am blessed.

10 minutes drive

and finally rain 4:30 downpour.  

new behavior this first week going back out after game shows.  I'm so proud of myself.  a huge change for me.  I went to Nob to check clearance and regain my pages.  

bingo was excellent.  I'm pumped and sleepy.  they had us do at least 2 minute segments.  they waited to start the music.  

8 minute to seniors

dry and clear.  forecast 30-60%  rain tonight.  

ow, my tummy.  fresh red onion touched cheese I ate.  Fred gives me what he isn't eating he had Boca burger.  the hot meal potato fish was OK.  I got an extra meal.  Trudy and Ken showed up.  I forgot to thank Toki for the giant bag of kettle chips so I called her.  I'm making a point of eating all the veg for my vision.  

I had a smoke.  and my body feels grounded.  I updated my lunch menu.  I ate lunch extras for dinner.  I feel calm.

Girl's day

found a new unopened Twilight puzzle.  

11:08 very late lunch.  

11:30 lunch time

I soaked and stretched, mailed life, withdrew chase, picked up lunch and weekend bag, eating at 11:30.  the lunches my mom, no one made me before.  I've never had anyone looking out for me before.  and now I do the universe.  the grain bread is delicious and crunchy.  I especially like chewing the seeds.

the purple egg carton cushion I got from Eileen last Saturday is wonderful.  it really helps.